Men Still Open Doors For Me

[Guest Zabrak]

A little rant I felt like posting.

So, when I use to 'dress in proper female clothing' and I wasn't on HRT I would have men opening doors for me, buying me food(yeah, even at conner stores they'd offer to buy my stuff), let me go first in a line up, give me their chair. Lot's of stuff. I was treated pretty nicely but I'd still open doors for cute guys and girls.

I do the same now, I open doors for people once in awhile. Not too often but I do when I get the chance. However, today a guy open a door for me. I was a couple feet away when he spoted me and opened the door. He stood there with a very sweet smile on his face. I gave him a raised eyebrow but smiled and said nothing.

It makes me think. I'm sure I don't 100% pass with everyone yet thats why I don't use mens loo's. But anyone who sees me and catches on that I'm a 'bio female' I'm sure would think I was a pretty butch lesbian. I mean I carry myself like any dude would well walking. I got no hips to 'sway' anyway. As my grandma said 'you've got a boys lower body already '.

So, why did he open the door for me? I mean, opening a door if someone close makes sense but not waiting for a bit to let someone in. I told my one real life friend who vists sometimes but lives far away. Her first reaction was "He must be homosexual." It was nice to hear that she thinks I pass so well but it still makes me think. I haven't actually come across a gay man in my town yet but I don't get out much.

Hmmm....how strange people are and intresting it is to see peoples reactions well you're transitioning.

[Guest Evan_J]

Its ok, don't freak out, it does happen on occasion (we're still in early stages here) even though yeah it might make you want to take your car keys and perform serious sergury on him with them on the spot. Go with what your friend said, he's gay. Which -and its not meant to be homophobic but rather a realization I hadda have along the way- "we" (collectively, ftms) don't know how gay, cisgendered, male society functions. Not even those of us (yes I know Zabrack) who are gay trans men. Just like I never got to be a cisgendered straight guy, you didn't get to be a cisgendered gay guy and theres still "unknown territory" For me as a "new" straight guy I was over my head the first time I interacted with gay men socially (context of church with an lgbt congregation) I'm imagining you might find there are "social rules" and whatever else as a gay man that you never really had a reason to know about before. And maybe the door was one of em. I say that cuz god knows when I was fronting as a "severly butch lesbian" I definately made it my business to hold doors for femme women. Maybe it comes with bein a "pretty boy" pretty boy? (funnin you only because you called yourself that prior.)

[Sally]

I'm a strange one - I open or hold doors for everyone - I hate having a door close just as I get there and I refuse to let one drop on me.

Maybe he is like me and it means - he's nice and nothing more.

We all tend to over think!

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Irielle]

I'm like Sally, I hold doors open for anyone, even if I have to wait a bit for them. Young, old, male, female, doesn't matter to me, it's just good manners.

Although if it's someone I find attractive then that's just a bonus! And I like both guys and girls.

[Guest Zabrak]

That -is- true. Wow. It never crossed my mind that he just opened the door to be nice.

[Guest Jackson]

I do the same thing. I try to hold doors open for anyone.

[Guest Kelly Ann]

ah youth and the complete uncertainty that hormones reinforce...imagine what it's like to ave a second childhood...YIKES when you older...relax Zabrak...I have doors opened by men and women and do the same for both. It's really just a courtsey...believe it or not my company actually expects us to let the door close on someone following us through a door...security first and the possibility of sexual harrassment charges second...go figure. Don't be insecure...there's no reason for it...and if the fella WAS gay consider it a REAL compliment...THAT'S what I'm talkin' about guy

[Guest Zabrak]

I think I just jump to conclusions sometimes and it takes a few smacks to get me out of it. That's why I love you guys.

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Hummmm - to late on this one but

Yes - I hold open doors for everyone. Gives me a chance to check them out - ha! Just kidding.

Common courtsey in the Deep South.

[Guest Donna Jean]

Sorry, no controversy with me, Plain 'ole Donna Jean.....

I just do it for everyone, too....My sidebar says "Ohio", but I was brought up in Georgia!

Well, THAT explains it! lol

XXOO

Donna Jean

[Guest Zabrak]

It's never too late.

More posts just back up the point. Thanks ladies.

[Guest Kelly Ann]

<snort>LOL...<giggle>our sweet gentle soul Donna Jean wanders off in parking lots to talk with total strangers at the supermarket and has to be collected, LOL. Now we find out she was originally from Georgia...and THAT explains it all, pure Southern Hospitality. Zabrak you are so in trouble with all the 'mother-hens' watching over you ...please lets be a trifle more careful with that light-sabre young man, the last swing warmed up my snicker doodles...mmmm they're even better warmed...but please...no...erm...pre-mature surguries. BTW...have you gotten the assembly of a new one down to under three minutes yet?

[Guest Little Sara]

Same as many have said. I open the door for everyone really.

[Guest mia 1]

The self titled "rant' here by our great friend and his reaction to it reminds me of the old Annie Hall movie. When Woody Allen says to his friend Max, "Max that guy is anti Semitic, he said to me "Jew go to lunch" get it Max Jew go to lunch.

And then He asked me " Did you listen to Vagner last night Vagner! Max, Vagner!

Don't worry Zabrak I open doors for men, women, and yellow dogs too...Mia

.

[Guest StrandedOutThere]

I was raised in the deep south (South Carolina, to be exact). We're supposed to hold the door for everyone. To figure out when you should hold the door, there is a complex calculation that takes into account the age of the person behind you relative to your own, the distance they are behind you, health status, and gender. I over-think everything.

As for the smiling, I'm not sure. When I hold the door for people I don't usually smile. I kind of hold it open as I walk through and don't really look back at the person unless they are old. In that case, I hold the door open as they walk through.

You know, some people are just smiley for no reason. There is this guy in my grad program (totally bio male and ID's as male) who smiles ALL THE TIME. It creeps me out because I feel like he's crazy. That's why I nicknamed him "Chianti", because one day he will eat my liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti. Yeah. Anyway, that guy smiles all the time, like it is his job.

So, I guess my point is that smiling and door holding are behaviors that can be totally independent of any judgment about your gender.

I am so hyper. I've been working on statistics homework for like 3 hours and I'm wired.

[Sally]

The only problem with holding the door open for a couple of people is that you can spend thirty minutes holding the door at a busy mall!

After a half hour you are allowed to let it go and turn the duty over to the next person.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Zabrak]

Zabrak you are so in trouble with all the 'mother-hens' watching over you

You know, some people are just smiley for no reason. There is this guy in my grad program (totally bio male and ID's as male) who smiles ALL THE TIME. It creeps me out because I feel like he's crazy. That's why I nicknamed him "Chianti", because one day he will eat my liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti. Yeah. Anyway, that guy smiles all the time, like it is his job.

I am so hyper. I've been working on statistics homework for like 3 hours and I'm wired.

LMAO

You gave me a good chuckle there.

Thanks everyone. I'm not bothered about it anymore.

[Guest leo]

way to late but oh well!

ye i open the doors to most people, but i am as concious as you, when men open the door to me gets me mad a bit, but i havent reli started transitioning

but if there is a hot girl ill run in front of her to open the door

[Guest MrAwesome]

I open doors for people just to be nice, if it looks like they're walking towards the door I keep it open.so that guy probably was just being polite.

[Guest Jo-I-Dunno]

Where I'm from, males hold doors open for everyone, not specifically females, so I wouldn't worry about it.

I rarely see a woman holding a door open, and when I do, I'm taken back by it a little. I'm still living as a young man, and hold doors open out of courtesy but I really don't like to... maybe that's a manifestation of my real gender identity.

[Guest Mel7]

I know I'm really late on this one, but...

I am going through the same recently. There is a new guy that I just met and he found lauras on my computer. So he knows about me but he doesn't believe me. So now, whenever we go somewhere he's like "Ladies first, no matter how much you hate to hear it. You are a girl." I'm so ready to slap him in the face. >_<

[Guest Martin]

Mel, what a jerk. I don't even know what I'd do in that situation. I'd be furious, that's for sure. Please remember that he's the stupid one.

As for holding doors open, I hold the door open for other people regardless of gender and other people, regardless of gender, hold the door open for me. I have noticed that since I've gotten a service dog, more people hold the door for me. It's not rare that a man or a woman stands and waits for me to go through. I think they think it's harder for me to manage doors and a leash than it really is. But hey, I'm not complaining. One of my old professors did make a comment when my best friend (who is a woman) held a door open for me, but we both ignored him. He's old and behind times.

[Guest Mel7]

Thanks.

I just keep telling myself that he's not the 'deep' sort so there would be no point in explaining everything. Plus, no matter what I say and what other people say about it in return to me, I can see in their eyes that they don't believe me. *shrug*

[Guest Little Sara]

I know I'm really late on this one, but...

I am going through the same recently. There is a new guy that I just met and he found lauras on my computer. So he knows about me but he doesn't believe me. So now, whenever we go somewhere he's like "Ladies first, no matter how much you hate to hear it. You are a girl." I'm so ready to slap him in the face. >_<

If I were you I would slap or punch him in the face, he is asking for it. Literally.

[Guest StrandedOutThere]

I know I'm really late on this one, but...

I am going through the same recently. There is a new guy that I just met and he found lauras on my computer. So he knows about me but he doesn't believe me. So now, whenever we go somewhere he's like "Ladies first, no matter how much you hate to hear it. You are a girl." I'm so ready to slap him in the face. >_<

I'm sorry. That would make me so angry I'd be tempted to administer a swift kick.