Gina's Story

[Guest sparky2u]

Hello everyone,

I go by Gina although the posting will show up as Sparky2u. Anyway, I'm new to this site and this world as I see many others are as well. I posted a little about my story in one of the forums MTF challenges but since I found the intro page I'll share here as well.

I'm 46 and a divorced parent of 2 beautiful children. For some time now I've been in counseling for depression and PTSD related to my time in the military. When I initially started treatment, I was an emotional wreck. I felt lost and frightened and didn't know who I was.

You've heard the expression "When one door closes another will open?" What happens in between while your waiting in the hallway for the new door to open? No one seems to talk about that. Your in the hallway with no direction and no signs on the doors. Lost.....

Fortunately I have a good therapist and she reassured me that I would find my way in time. I have and have begun the process of accepting and embracing the person that I want to be. I haven't met with my therapist again since this revelation and I'm a little scared to share with her my new found sense. I know that once I open this Pandora's Box there is no going back.

I have a lot of intrepidation for several reasons. No one knows yet. Not my kids, my family, friends, and coworkers. I'm scared about how everyone will take the news. My parents are very conservative and the world that I work in is 99.99% masculine. I'm worried about how I'm going to handle this emotionally.

I'll close by saying that I'm really counting on everyones support to get me through this and I look forward to hearing from you.

Hugs,

Gina

[Guest]

Hi Gina,

Welcome to Laura's Playground!

I can so empathize with you, facing all of those huge life changes at once. It can be overwhelming certainly - looking for that door in the wall. Many of us here have gotten through the difficulties of transition by following a principle called "baby steps". The idea is basically to focus on the next step only without worrying about the big picture. For you, that might be about buying clothes, or finding out about beard removal, Not to worry about those big steps of coming out yet - they will happen in time, at a time when you're more prepared, more certain of your direction.

So, for now, relax among friends here, take a deep breath, and just let yourself be! It's a great feeling, isn't it?

All the best to you!

Love, Megan

[Guest sparky2u]

Hi Megan,

Thanks for the encouragement. Yea, it truly is a great feeling to come to terms with myself. I feel that I do need to take those baby steps both physically and emotionallly. I have a new-found sense of hope though and it's liberating! Thank you again and I look forward to chatting with you in the future as I chronical my journey.

Love,

Gina

[Carolyn Marie]

Welcome to the Playground, Gina. Megan is spot on with her advice; baby steps are always best. Please trust your therapist - they do (or should) have your best interests at heart, and aren't there to judge you. If she isn't a gender therapist, and isn't experienced with treating TS folk, you might want to consider finding one. The V.A. does allow it now, and will even provide hormone replacement therapy if and when you need it.

I wouldn't tell your family or friends about you believing you are trans until after you've talked with a G.T. They should be able to help you in that regard, as well.

Please post in any of the threads that interest you, and ask all the questions you want to. We will do our best to provide honest answers, based on our knowledge and experience. I do ask all our new members to please read the site Terms and Conditions, as they help us keep the site safe.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[Guest Angel Heart]

Congratulations i am very proud of you for figuring out who you want to be. it is a great feeling, isn't it? i don't have much experience in coming out to family and friends who will most likely reject me. sorry i can't help you there.

but i can give you support and advice to the best of my abilities.

i like what megan says: relax, take a deep breath, and be. it really is wonderful.

[Guest Carla_Davis]

Hi Gina,

First, let me thank you for your time in the Military.

Nothing is Happier than being Honest with Yourself, and being able to live your True Self.

I do not know the cause of your Depression if it was all Military related, but in my case I suffered Major Depression for over 40 years and nothing helped me until I

finally Came-Out and Transitioned

I'm a little scared to share with her my new found sense. I know that once I open this Pandora's Box there is no going back.

Do Not be scared to share this Good New with your Therapist, I am sure she will be Happy to hear that you are being Honest with her.

Also, be Open and Honest with your feeling that you share with your Therapist to gain the Maximum Results.

They have heard it all, and Nothing will shock them.

I am including some links that I hope will help you.

How to cope with Gender Dysphoria http://www.wikihow.com/Cope-With-Gender-Dysphoria

How to come out as transgender http://www.wikihow.com/Come-out-As-Transgender

How to Transition MTF http://www.wikihow.com/Transition-for-MTF

How to be Yourself http://www.wikihow.com/Be-Yourself

How to be happy with who you are. http://www.wikihow.com/Be-Happy-with-Who-You-Are

Reasons to Cherish being Transsexual http://www.transsexual.org/cherish.html

COLAGE is a Good Organization for Transgender Parents of Children

COLAGE http://www.colage.org/

COLAGE-Coming out to Kids http://www.colage.org/resources/for-lgbtq-parents/tips-for-coming-out-to-your-kids-about-your-sexual-orientation/

Protecting the Rights of TG Parents and their Children http://www.aclu.org/transgender-parent-guide

No one knows yet. Not my kids, my family, friends, and coworkers

Coming Out to your Family, Friends, Coworkers and children is much easier today due to the fact that it is more popular in the news today.

Do Not get too Depressed if Not every one accepts you right away.

If your friends and coworkers do not accept you, they were never True Friends.

If you are happy with the information you received at Laura’s Playground, tell your friends.

If you are unhappy with anything at Laura’s Playground, tell us so that we can improve it.

We All Support, Care for, and Love You and want to see You Happy, Healthy and Transition Safely.

Hugs,

Carla

[Guest miss kindheart]

Hi Gina,
<<< hug >>>
Welcome to Laura's Playground.
Please feel free to come over and chat sometime.
The Chat room does require another registration that is separate from from your forums one.
Please read the chat room rules before coming in, and expect a short interview with one of the chat room moderators.
One of the things that they will ask you is if you read the rules.
We all look forward to seeing you.
vanna

[Guest Zeda]

Hey Gina, welcome to Laura's! This is definitely a great place to be, especially as you are just starting to explore your gender. Good luck and stay happy !

[Guest]

Welcome to LP Gina.

Thank you for your introduction.

There is a lot of information and a lot of friendly people here.

Ask any question you wish.

I wish you peace and prosperity on your journey.

It all begins with the first step which you have already conquered.

Huggs,

Joann

[Guest Guest_]

Hi Gina. Welcome to Laura's. You are among friends. I would also like to say thanks for your time in the service. As stated above take your time and let yourself grow into who you want to be. We are all on the same journey and are road has lot of hills, curves, and bumps in it. There are wonderful people who will help you see over that hill, what is around the next curve, and how to avoid the bumps. Have confidence in yourself, and enjoy who you are. Hugs Amber L.

[Guest DianeATL]

Hi Gina - welcome to LP and thanks for your service. Baby steps are all you need, you won't figure it all out and get it all done with a snap of your fingers. It is confusing and scary but the great folks here at LP will support you and help you, all you have to do is ask.

Speaking of Military and 99.9% macho, I would really recommend a book for you that meant a lot to me. Warrior Princess is the story of US Navy SEAL Chris Beck (can't get any more macho that a SEAL) coming to grips with her true identity and becoming Kristin Beck, Transgender advocate extraordinaire. I plan on using that book as background reading for my family when I cross that bridge and come out to them. It dispels so much of the myth and misinformation about what it means to be TG, and the struggles trying to deal with it.

A TG friend told me last night, the path is not a straight line but a wandering path, Embrace the journey.

[gennee]

Hi Gina and welcome to Laura's. Thank you for your intro. It takes time for this process so enjoy the ride.

Embrace all the positives and learn all that you can.

[Guest sparky2u]

Hi Everyone,

Thank you all so very much for your support. It's truly comforting to know that I have friends to reach out to as I begin my journey. I know I will be reaching out to everyone for advice/support from time to time and I hope that I can be there for you all as well.

Fortunately I've found a local support group and boutique which I visited recently. Great gals and very supportive as well. I'm greatful that I have this resource in my area.

Diane, thanks for the info. I'll definitely look for the book. I was a Master Explosive Ordnance Disposal Technician in the Navy. In laymens terms, I did bomb disposal! Crazy right? Not sure if you saw the movie Hurt Locker, yep that's what I did. Anyway, I worked with special forces from all brances of the service throughout my career.

Thanks again everyone and I hope to chat with you all soon.

Hugs,

Gina