Is it bad that I overlook Mtfs when I comes to dating

[Guest Jay Smooth]

Im just curious, every since Ive came out I went into the straight world, But have never thought about a Mtf

[Guest Bellexia]

Absolutely not. Our preferences are our own. I happen to prefer cisgirls over tgs I would still date one, even fall in love with one it is just a preference. Just like I also prefer a guy my height or taller. They are just preferences and no one can choose whom they are attracted to.

[Carolyn Marie]

There is no rule about who transfolk should date. Date the person you are attracted to, male or female, natal or trans, green or purple, lefty or righty. All that matters is that you share some attraction for each other, and have something that binds you together.

Einstein once said, "Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love." So there you have it, from the expert.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[JJ]

For myself I don't want to put myself or anyone else in any box but simply remain open to a relationship with anyone who attracts me. Period. Labels just don't fit us right and are actually pretty much restrictive for anyone anyway. There was a video posted here just a but ago about gender and it covers it very well. I'm not seeking any one group or ruling any one out.

Relationships -real relationships that involve the heart-are too rare to be rejected because someone has a cis or trans or any other label. In fairness I must say though that for some reason -and there are different theories-relationships between FTMS and MTFs seem to break up more often than between either group and cis people. Maybe that will change as there are more and more FTMs living openly instead of stealth but I have no idea for sure. Logic would say an MTF would understand our feelings and be ideal if we are attracted but the reality is apparently otherwise. Or was when I was doing the research a couple of years ago anyway. Isn't to say they can't work out-just as they more seldom actually do.

Johnny

[Guest KimberlyF]

Date who ever you want to date. But then don't throw rocks because certain people don't feel they could date a FtM. There are plenty of good people attracted to every type or shape or color or religion. We can't help how we feel.

[Guest Jay Smooth]

I couldnt do that Im sorry

[Drea]

Some folks might think that, in excluding MTF, that you really aren't seeing MTF as women.

[Guest Jay Smooth]

No that would be to stressful, I want what she has and she wants what I have, So why not be with a cisgender female, No offence

[Guest Jay Smooth]

And it would be easier for a straight woman to date an ftm rather than a straight male dating a mtf, Unless the mtf had hormone blockers, Its easier for me to pass rather than vice versa and their are more ways around sex for us, Everytime I go out my mom corrcts people

[Guest Jay Smooth]

See look, And Ive been hit on by straight females and bisexuals and lesbians.

[Carolyn Marie]

Jay, you are stereotyping people, which is never a good thing. People are individuals, and every individual is unique. In a general sense, yes, FtM's have some advantages in physically being seen as their correct gender. But it is far from a universal truth, Jay. I know many young transwomen who pass perfectly well, and some young transmen who do not.

I'm going to give you the BoD given your age, but some of the things you say are, well, not very thoughtful.

Carolyn Marie

[KieranD]

If you're attracted to women, and flat out say "I won't date trans women" then you're being a transmisogynist. If you're attracted to women, find somebody awesome who happens to be trans and consider that a "deal breaker" then you're being a transmisogynist.

Lets put in through a different lens. If you're white and say you flat out won't date somebody black then you're being a racist.

If the situation is that you just happen to not run into trans women, that's fine. If you realize that you're assuming everybody you've been attracted to was cis then you might be on the right road to thinking about ideas of gender.

Trans women have as wide of a spectrum of differences as cis women have. And you don't know if somebody is trans or cis until they tell you.

[Guest Jay Smooth]

I get that but its my oppinion, That would just be to much,I just dont think I could date one and all the girls Ive like were never physically male and I know that for a fact because one plays basketball and the other was in my gym class in the girls locker, If that was the case Id be in the guys but they cant let me, And the girl I talk right know is cisgendered

[Guest ~Brenda~]

Jay dear,

You are very young and seem very conflicted. I can tell you from direct experience that there are many transwomen who are indistinguishable from GG women in every way.

You seem consumed with sexuality which is not unusual for someone your age, but sexuality is not the same as gender identity.

I know that you like to express your opinions on gender identity, sexuality, MTF, FTM, and other transgender misconceptions.

The thing is Jay, is that being transgendered is far more complex than you seem to understand at this time.

Let's work on your transgendered self and later work on your sexuality.

One day, I hope you will find that being FTM is not really different from MTF. The issues are the same even if some of the details are different. Sexuality is different from everything.

I know you are going to want to retort to my reply, but before you do, think about what I have said.

Laura's Playground is a site of exploration and is not a site for judgment, bashing, or stereotyping.

Why not allow others to express their experiences and insight to you without reprisal?

Love

Brenda

[Guest Jay Smooth]

Im not judging anyone you missed my point if you think about it it would be stressful, I just cant do that I pefer cisgendered women, And their are loads of straight men who could agree

[Guest Jay Smooth]

No offence to any transwoman

[Guest Jay Smooth]

And i know sexuality and gender idenity trust me I know way more tha you hink even though im young

[Carolyn Marie]

I get that but its my oppinion,

You asked for our opinions, Jay. We gave them to you. You expressed yours. We told you what we think of it. What else is there to say? Of course you are entitled to your opinion. But you asked us if your opinion is "bad." Why ask if you don't want to consider the answers?

Carolyn Marie

[Guest LuceKeagan]

I am beginning to wonder about the reasons behind some of your posts Jay, this one and others. This post is one I find to be very offending since to me, like others before me, it seems as if you don't think of our sisters as women when they are women just as much as you are a young man. And Kieran and Brenda are correct when they say that genetic girls and trans girls are often very difficult if not impossible to tell any difference between the two. Unless you are asking every single girl you meet if they were born male, which I highly doubt.

I hate to repeat what others have said but it seems like you don't read our complete posts so I will repeat what others have said. Laura's is a place that is supposed to be free of judgement, stereotyping, and bashing of other groups. Any other groups. This includes transmen, transwoman, genderqueer, any other gender nonconforming group, and all sexual orientations.

Youth may be your excuse, inexperience and the lack of years on your part, but frankly I personally believe after working with multiple young people of your age bracket on a daily basis for 8 hrs a day, 7 days a week, that it is just that. An excuse. Live and -learn-, ask questions to learn....not to dig your feet in stubbornly and insist that it's just "your opinion" when you know you're offending and possibly upsetting others.

I'm very sad for you Jay, I really am. I feel like this post and others you have recently started lash out, "bash", at the other groups and people here on Laura's, and the LGBTQ community, that do not share your views. We try to offer life experiences and advice, which is what I assume you want since you make these posts for the whole world to see, and you refute, disagree, don't even read, or flat out ignore us. Please remember many of us are much older than you and have experienced many things throughout our lives.

On the matter of dating a ftm being easier or a mtf being harder to date for any gender I ask you to site truthful facts or studies to back this up. This is another misconception you seem to have. Relationships need two mature people involved to work, no matter the gender of the people involved. Relationships need -worked- on and are rarely Hollywood easy, if ever, no matter the gender or sexual orientation of the people involved.

Who are these "loads" of straight men you personally discuss sexual attraction with? I personally know many straight men who view women as women no matter her medical history. Unless you speak personally with all these men you can't know they agree with you.

To all others on Laura's, I apologize if this post comes off harsh. I've rewrote and toned it down from the original first post I typed many hours ago.

As for knowing "way" more than we assume you know Jay may I please ask you to prove it? Answer our questions directly with intelligent, thoughtful replies instead of refuting and ignoring them. Or making excuses or cop out replies about opinions.

[Guest Zayden]

Before I say anything - I am FtM and I have dated a MtF partner.

I feel that by excluding FtM you don't see them as being female. I'd say the same thing about anyone who was talking about FtM and liking men but exluding them.

However - as my ex reminds me - there is a distinct difference between biological sex and gender identity. That of course comes into play here. Obviously there are people who are attracted to physical characteristics more than mental/emotional and vice-versa.

And I'll note that I actually figured out I wasn't "into" girls when I was with my MtF partner - and it had nothing to do with genitalia - merely that I'm not attracted to femininity.

She was also pre-HRT and passed very well.

[Guest N. Jane]

You are FtM and you wouldn't date a MtF? You are trans but you wouldn't date someone else who is trans?

My dear, that speaks VOLUMES! I hope you find more acceptance than you give.

[Guest leo]

Jay I'm sure you post topics jut to annoy people?! You ask people's opinions then not argue with them! If you know your own mind then why post?!! Personally I go for cis gendered females so they can carry a child and that's important to me! If I was to date a transwomen then we would not be able to have child which is something I hold dear to me! Don't get me wrong I could properly date a transwomen who had all surgeries but wouldn't be able to have a lasting relationship!

Currently I have a cus gendered girlfriend and 1 child so far and hopefully another child next year! This is just MY opinion and hope not to be judged on it

[Guest Bellexia]

Interesting. If I found a tg I loved, that's great, I still prefer cis girls. I am not going to apologize for who I am attracted to. You have to be happy with the person you are with, these are undeniable truths, and ugly ones at that. No one wants to admit they might be vain. They want to take the politically correct road and lie about how they feel because it makes them look better as a person.

As to the topic itself, it seems to have slipped into troll territory instead of an interesting topic.

[Guest Jay Smooth]

Well like I said I couldnt do it, And Ive talked to straight men and they have said they wouldnt date transwoman, And no im not trying to annoy or offen anyone, Like I said for me it would be to stressful, I date cisgender women so it wont be that complicated, You cant force me to date transwoman, Know if they were post op maybe but pre op no, And I never said I didnt yes you have your oppion but dont get frustrated because I dont agree, And who would date another transgender, I mean I already experiemce gender dysphria somebody else experiencing it would just be a major headace, Again thats why I go for cisgendered females, Like I said it feels better to be seen Id feel normal and whole with a straight cisgendered woman, And to luce keagan don bring gay people in this because your not changing my oppion I said I dont have a problem with but that dont mean I have to agree with every little thing, And I dont even like being grouped with Lesbians and gays because were to different issues, And gay people seem to think abbandoning them

[Guest Jay Smooth]

And what leo said also I atleast want my wife to carry a child so it can have some resemblence, and Bellexias right it did turn into a troll, It was to be interesting because their are loads of transguys who agree, I never said I didnt accept mtfs, Just because I accept them doesnt mean I have to date them