Accepting myself as an FTM and hello

[Guest arthur-rabbit]

Hi everybody.

Uh, so, quick intro. I think on some level I always felt transgendered, but when I was 14 I read about an FTM and in an instant I knew that was me. I tried to come out when I was 15, but it didn't go well for me at all. My family and friends were very un-accepting plus I was going through a rough patch in life. I ended up going back to identifying as a girl and I tried to tell myself it was a phase.

But over the years, the feelings keep coming back and I keep trying to tell myself it's not true, but it gets harder to deny it all the time. I'm 19 now. I keep my hair short, I buy guys clothes, I bind and I always have these feelings . I know I don't want to come out again because I would probably lose my job and I think I'd definitely lose my boyfriend. But I think I can't deny it anymore to myself and that's scary.

Anyways, I'm Arthur. A little confused, a little scared about this, but very happy to meet you all.

[Guest ~Brenda~]

Hi Arthur,

It is very natural to feel confused and try to talk yourself out of this, but as you are discovering, this does not go away.

Welcome to Laura's Playground Arthur.

Here, I hope you learn alot about yourself.

Love

Brenda

[Guest Angel Heart]

welcome to laura's i'm so happy you are starting to be able to accept yourself

i know that's the hardest part

but we can help you with that

and sorry about your family not being accepting it's a shame

i hope you like it here

[JJ]

Hi Arthur

Welcome to Laura's. Coming to the realization and then accepting it can be a long and very difficult process.

For many the next step is a gender therapist who can help you decide what you need to do and how to best maximize your life. They can save you an enormous amount of pain and confusion in the long run

While we are not therapists we will be happy to listen and share our stories and experiences as well. Sometimes just being able to communicate with people who understand can made a big difference. Please feel free to post as much as you like in any forum and take a moment to look over the T & C if you haven;t yet. They are unique due to the nature of the site = there is a link at the bottom of every page

Glad to have you here

Johnny

[Guest alexiaannalise]

Welcome Arthur

this is the right place for you. it has helped me out a lot especially lately as i have come to terms with mtf that i am.

And hopefully it helps you too:)

*kisses*

Alexia Annalise

[Carolyn Marie]

Welcome to the Playground, Arthur. I hope you find everything you need here to be prepared for the journey you are embarking on. It promises to be an interesting one. Please feel free to post in any of the forums and ask any questions that interest you. We'll do our best to provide honest answers.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[Guest arthur-rabbit]

Thanks everyone. I really appreciate it.

I think I'm a long way from any kind of transition. Actually, right now it feels like when I first confronted my childhood abuse, ie like I've opened a big box of stuff that I a) can't ignore and don't know what to do with.

@JJ Thank you for the suggestion about therapy. I think that would be helpful.

[Guest]

Welcome to LP Arthur.

Thank you for your introduction.

It's nice to have another Member from the Wet Coast, sorry, West Coast.

There is a lot of information and a lot of friendly people here.

Ask any question you like.

You've been given great advice already.

I hope you find what you seek here.

I wish you peace and success on your journey.

Maybe touch base with the Trans Alliance Society on Bute Street.

Huggs,

Joann

[Guest LizMarie]

Welcome to Laura's, Arthur. Finding yourself and facing yourself can take time and patience. For me, finding that guidance came best in the hands of a good therapist who helped me greatly. I hope that you can both find yourself and find peace with yourself, in whatever form that takes.

[Guest miss kindheart]

Hi Arthur,
<<< hug >>>
Welcome to Laura's Playground.
Please feel free to come over and chat sometime.
The Chat room does require another registration that is separate from from your forums one.
Please read the chat room rules before coming in, and expect a short interview with one of the chat room moderators.
One of the things that they will ask you is if you read the rules.
We all look forward to seeing you.
vanna