So

[Guest naminsann]

So... when you finally realize you can't continuo living a lie, what do you do? I've known I was a woman since I was six or seven, for periods of my life I would feel down and look into changing my gender, check out these forums and read other peoples stories, but then decide it´s not worth it, I would never pass, I don't want to disseapoint my family, etc. I'm now an architect, I'm 29, I feel if I don't do something now it will never happen and I will live a, maybe functional, but unhappy life for the rest of my life.

I want to be me. And I'm not right now. How do I start?

[Guest Robin Winter]

How do you start? You just did

An excellent next step would be finding a gender therapist. That was the real turning point in my life.

[MaryEllen]

Hello naminsann,

Welcome to Laura's Playground..Shilo is correct in suggesting that seeking a gender therapist would be a good second step.

http://www.lauras-playground.com/gender_therapists.htm

MaryEllen

[Guest naminsann]

Wow, quick replies. Thank you, I really appreciate it, and I really mean it . I guess a big part of my worries is whether I could ever pass as a woman. Is it worth it if I will always be seen as somewhere inbetween? My face, I think, is feminine enough. But I have large hands and feet, pretty wide shoulders and deep chest. My thoughts have always centered around whether or not its worth it. Being a freak or being unhappy. Tough choice, impossible choice even .

Thanks again for replying.

[Guest LizMarie]

If you do choose to transition, how you dress will impact how your hands and feet are seen. Often times adding a ring or two and bracelets can distract the observer from the hands. Your feet can be made to appear smaller by careful shoe choice. Finding larger sizes can be difficult but one excellent and cheap way is to shop thrift stores. Probably 80% of my wardrobe comes from thrift stores and is often like new in quality.

As for shoulders and chest, again, selection of clothing can diminish or accentuate that, so consider what you like as you develop a personal style. For instance, while I love them, tank tops don't work very well for me so I've grown to love full shouldered smocks and blouses. All of this and more can be worked into a personal sense of style.

But before you worry about any of that, find a therapist and begin to discover yourself. You sound like your going to want to transition but I wouldn't assume that until you've worked with your therapist for a bit. Sometimes trans folk can find other outlets. I'm not trying to discourage you either, just point to the reality that discovering yourself is a complicated process and may take turns you didn't envision.

[Guest naminsann]

Thanks LizMarie, for those words, they were very useful. Since you all recommend seeing a therapist I'm going to look into that. Hopefully I can find the courage to actually book a meeting even though it puts me in a very vulnerable position.

[Guest miss kindheart]

Hi naminsann,
<<< hug >>>
Welcome to Laura's Playground.
Please feel free to come over and chat sometime.
The Chat room does require another registration that is separate from from your forums one.
Please read the chat room rules before coming in, and expect a short interview with one of the chat room moderators.
One of the things that they will ask you is if you read the rules.
We all look forward to seeing you.
vanna

[Guest naminsann]

Aw, thats nice Thank you, miss kindheart

[Guest KarenLyn]

Hi Naminsann! Welcome aboard.

Since you've already got good advice about contacting a gender therapist, I'll skip that and move on to the passing part. Passing is the last thing we have to worry about. When you're comfortable with yourself the other things will take care of themselves.

I'm pretty big but it hasn't caused any real problems blending in with rest of the women I know. So anyway, relax. You'll be fine.

My 2¢

Karen

[Guest naminsann]

Thanks, KarenLyn

[Guest]

Welcome to LP Naminsann.

You just started, with the first step.

That's usually the biggest leap on our journey, which begins with the first step.

For some of us the only choice is to be happy. Everything else will eventually fall into place.

I wish you peace and prosperity on your journey.

Huggs,

Joann