Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Op Ed: Where is the LGB Community Now?


Carolyn Marie

Recommended Posts

Guest -guest-

I'm losing my will to fight.

This article and another I read this week have made me give serious thought to shutting down my transgender identity and just keeping it at bay for the rest of my life. I did it for six decades. It's not easy or particularly healthy, but I know myself to be strong and stoic enough to handle the dysphoria for whatever time I have left.

It's sobering to realize that, with so much knowledge regarding the transgender condition now available, there are still high profile and presumably intelligent individuals who deny its validity. I don't care about my own situation, but I do worry a great deal about young people coming up and having to face such willful ignorance.

When the very best argument I can muster against such a barrage of misinformation is "I exist" - and that isn't sufficient - continuing to try seems hopeless.

Link to comment
  • Admin

Interesting that this is by a USNA graduate. She was putting on her Butter Bars two weeks before my son began his Plebe Summer at the USNA. Maybe it biases me to agree with her. In this case, the more liberal sides have taken this as a passive right for children which in a better world it would be. It still may turn out that way, but I agree fully that we cannot let up now even seeing victory. Now is the best time to become involved in educating the middle grounders, the liberals remain bought, and the conservatives will never be, but we and all our communities do need us to be educators of the "ordinary" that transgender lives should be.

Link to comment
Guest Sarah Faith

This article echos everything I have been saying about how the LGB community at large couldn't care less about trans issues because it doesnt directly effect them. It's sad, and its sadly true. :(

Sarah

Link to comment
Guest Sarah Faith

Many LGB think this law isn't good for them so why push?

Bingo, I have been pointing this out for months and I am always told that the LGB community are natural allies for the trans community. Yeah only when they need us to push something pro-LGB, when it comes to trans issues if it doesnt directly help them, they couldn't care less. This article frames that point nicely.

Link to comment
Guest LauraJen

This article echos everything I have been saying about how the LGB community at large couldn't care less about trans issues because it doesnt directly effect them. It's sad, and its sadly true. :(

Sarah

Could not agree more. I have attended LGBT events before and when I described myself to other people some didn't even know what the T stood for. I told them and still got blank looks.

Link to comment
Guest LizMarie

Anyone who is unaware of the rift between the LGB and T communities must be totally unaware of the Stonewall whitewashing that has been done over the last 40 years. Fortunately, before their deaths. key Stonewall persons did speak out and actually tell the world that without the T there would have been no LGB at Stonewall. I've known gays who were shocked at this revelation but after showing them actual articles verifying it, they came to understand how much we've been ignored over the years.

We do have some allies in the LGB community but not as many as people would think. The LGB community is not a monolith that is completely apathetic towards our issues at all. It's divided itself so we need to work with those who care about us, and either bypass or change the minds of those who do not.

And in case anyone is unaware, Brynn Tannehill, the author of that story, is trans herself.

Link to comment
  • Admin

Some of my real life friends are lesbians and gays, and are and have been supportive of me and of our community as long as I've know them. There are several wonderful members of the Gay and Lesbian Advisory Board in West Hollywood who have reached out to the TAB to become more informed of our issues, and work with us to promote their agendas and ours.

We should not condemn an entire community, any more than they should condemn ours. There are good people and bad people in both. I agree that there has been a lack of support for our causes, in general. But as LizMarie points out, it is not a uniform attitude among all in the LGB community. From my own personal experience, it is largely a matter of a lack of information and education. People won't readily support what they don't understand.

Carolyn Marie

Link to comment
Guest -guest-

I joined a fairly new Meetup group - "Out And About Florida" - that is both very active in terms of social events and proactive in creating a vibrant online community. Its primary focus is gay and lesbian, and transgender individuals are a very small portion of the membership and not at all vocal.

They have quickly pushed me into a leadership role. I've been put in charge of the Help And Support portion of the web site. This happened as a result of my correspondence with the group's leader, who had never before encountered a transgender person.

Because I have some writing and editing commitments to deal with right now, I resisted taking on any more responsibility. But I was asked to try it for a few weeks at least.

As a fairly new member, I've certainly been welcomed by other participants. My wife and I will be attending the group's potluck dinner in a few weeks, and many people have said they look forward to getting to know me.

Link to comment

What I see is that transgender people are standing up for themselves. During pride month I educate people about how trans people stood up to police harassment at Stonewall. We have to keep on going because our lives depend on it.

Link to comment
  • Admin

It will be interesting next week at the TG conference I am attending, especially since there will be a large number of people there whom I consider to be leaders within the Transgender sphere. Most of the people I know will not be faulting the LGB community for failure to be our guardian angels or for abandoning us as some accuse them of. Other than Stonewall, what have we really done as TG people in regard to the LGB people. Certainly I have made my tax deductible donatons to HRC, and I make yearly donation of time and money to a GLB(t) community center a few miles away from me, and a larger donation to the GLBT organization within my national Church. Speaking of which, has hired a trans*woman as its new General Director. Another such organization within another denomination almost simultaneously hired a Trans* man as its GD. The reason for these actions was from the TG members who saw that there was only so much that could be done for us, without our taking leadership in the organizations.

I do not expect to hear any name calling from the people who lead our orgainizations, or who now head or at least take leadership roles in GLBT organizations. What I expect to hear is an outline of new strategies and new goals that we can meet as trans*people alone, or as trans* people within other organizations, where we can do our part in leadership and direction toward a future that includes us. Carolyn mentioned favorable reception from a GLB source if she will teach them more about what it like to be Trans*. I too am part of such a group, where Trans* people related to my family perform Chaplaincy duties for the GLBCC in their area. I believe it is now our Season In The Sun, and what we have are people who have fought a successful battle, but as activists to the core do enjoy the work, are looking for more to do. We need to lead, and not abandon what has been.

Link to comment
Guest Deanna

We do have to take lead on our issues that affect us most. We also have to be seen more often and in positive roles in our community. That being said it would be really nice if they would standup an back us up on these issues that affect us so much and make sure we are included in the laws that they are trying to get through.

We are the most different in the LGB T group. Their issues are sexual Ours are about gender and sexual usually and because our issues are more complex in some ways and lets face it some don't know any more that straight cis folk due about us.

One thing is for sure, making more division will not help our cause.

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   4 Members, 0 Anonymous, 71 Guests (See full list)

    • Ashley0616
    • Sam adams
    • Curious-star
    • Mikayla2024
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.9k
    • Total Posts
      771.2k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,159
    • Most Online
      8,356

    katheryn
    Newest Member
    katheryn
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Froggiesprog
      Froggiesprog
      (20 years old)
    2. Kara Zor-El
      Kara Zor-El
      (41 years old)
    3. LaurenMichelle
      LaurenMichelle
    4. Liana
      Liana
      (53 years old)
    5. Murph90
      Murph90
      (34 years old)
  • Posts

    • Davie
      This is what Adele says to haters of Pride: https://x.com/PopBase/status/1797119887976128863 Yay, Adele!
    • Adrianna Danielle
      It has been good so far.I went to church this morning,one my boyfriend is a member of.I am the first open transgender member member there.Have been accepted in since I became a member.A young man wanted a picture of us taken together and his mom took it.He is about 15 or 16 years old and I am the first transgender person he has met
    • Ivy
      I live in a rural area, and we actually do have Democrats here. I also see the division being pushed by the "right' as well as the "left."  It seems so stupid. I'm going to shut up now.  Have a great pride month, Y'all.
    • Ivy
      I do think trans women have more visibility, and perhaps more resistance due to the ingrained misogyny in our culture - as Carolyn Marie has said.  Having said that, I have gotten to know a trans man in the past year, and his struggles have been real as well - including feeling threatened in situations. As for passing, testosterone is pretty effective.  The voice changes and facial hair do make it easier to pass for many.  Not many people will question a man with a beard's gender*.  Once you are able to get the HRT I think you will be pleased with the results.  Hang in there.   *I let my beard grow out for years to "prove" to myself and others that I was a "man" but it didn't really work very well, did it.
    • Ivy
      Well…  I hope everything goes well.  I guess she's familiar with the process by now.
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Being a drag performer is THAT lucrative a job opportunity? In Idaho?  $926k is equivalent to 18 years' pay for an average worker in that state.   I understand that attorney fees can run pretty high, though.  
    • Carolyn Marie
      @NoEli6, I completely understand where you're coming from, and I sympathize with you.  Yes, I believe it is true that trans men get shortchanged when it comes to recognition of your numbers in the world, the attention paid by the MSM, as well as the trans community and academia.  I also think that is changing, based on the number of articles I see in my news feed.  There are also many more articles on research papers concerning HRT and other issues facing trans men.   So it is understandable that many in our community downplay the struggles trans men go through.  I do think that trans women face a more dangerous world than trans men, and for the same reasons that cis women face more dangers than cis men.  All one needs to do is look at the statistics on the murder and assaults of trans women.  That said, trans men do also face dangers out there in the world, and I don't discount that at all.  There was a much loved trans man on this site years ago whose own father shot him when he was about your age.  So yeah, I do understand your fears.  They are real and justified.   As @Charlizesaid, your time will come and things will get better for you.  We see you, we cherish you, and we respect your feelings.  You are welcome here.   HUGS   Carolyn Marie
    • Sally Stone
      I asked myself this very thing many times through the years.  Ultimately, I realized these feelings were being heavily influenced by the concept of gender needing to be singular.  I guess the strong influence makes sense, since it has been so ingrained into our society.  I found the will to reject the concept, though, because it wasn't right for me.  Doing so, allowed me to be at peace with my bi-gender nature.     
    • VickySGV
      @KathyLauren This is how the jurors broke down the award:     Being labeled as a molester and sexual pervert can and has done that much actual damage in terms of repair of the damage through a wide variety of means including legal fees and loss of livelihood in any job or profession.  As this said the idea of "reckless disregard for the truth" means that the performer was able to show a level of damage that will affect him now and in the future.  The $900K+ figure was a matter of real evidence of the damage. 
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Well, it has been an interesting morning.  I stayed home from service to take care of a partner.  She's the youngest of us, and I'm usually not her first choice for affection.  But this morning she curled up in my lap right before breakfast, and told me she was feeling ill.  And then threw up on me about 30 seconds later....   I guess the smell of the food is what did it, poor thing.  On a hunch, she took a pregnancy test and.... yep.    She's been married to our husband for 10 years, and this will be her 6th, so I'm happy for her.  We took a shower and she got back in our nest to sleep some more, which is probably the best medicine of all.  Maybe she'll feel better this afternoon. 
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Article said $250,000 of it was "punitive."  To me, seems like the whole thing was punitive...which I don't think is appropriate at all. 
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Biden himself is driving that "divisive wedge."  Could have done without the anti-gun garbage in his statement....it makes it seem like all LGBTQ+ folks agree with their agenda.  Which simply isn't true, and makes life difficult (and unsafe) for those of us who prefer to live in rural (and non-Democrat) areas.  Pride month would be happier for many (and more socially accepted) if it could somehow be separated from ancillary political issues. 
    • KathyLauren
      I haven't seen the ruling, but it is unlikely that the entire amount was for actual damages.  The majority was likely punitive, as it should be.
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Unless somehow this caused a million dollars worth of damage to somebody's livelihood or life, the amount of this judgement seems excessive.  Not something I would call "uplifting" or anything to be pleased about. 
    • Davie
      Thanks so much, @Ivy Good to hear good sense about this. —Davie
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...