Transgender Homecomming Queen - Editorial

[Drea]

Recently a young woman was elected homecoming queen in high school. She just happens to be transgender which has resulted in national press attention. She isn't the first trans person to have won such but certainly is the most recent with the most attention.

From everything I know she had truly won over the students in her school. That she was NOT voted this award as any sort of joke. I think this is wonderful.

This event is hailed as a symbol of a new level of acceptance. That this is an advance for the community.

The question I raise is does this really make any difference? Is it any different than it has been for the past decade?

I think not.

She is clearly a very special young woman. She won over her classmates, she earned her crown and I think she so totally deserves it. Did she do this by demanding her classmates accept her? Did she accuse those who thought it was weird as being transphobic? Is this how she won them over? I tend to think not, yet these are the things the greater community tend to express/promote when it comes to acceptance.

In my own experience, quite a number of years ago, I found that 95% of the non-trans don't really care and the vast majority reacted postiively. Be they liberal or conservative. More importantly I found that the 5% meant nothing unless I gave power. And that as long as I remained modest, respectful of non-trans, was understanding and a generally good person that 5% had no power and the other 95% are able to be won over.

There are hundreds, thousands and even tens of thousands of trans folk out there who have provided positive interactions with non-trans, won over the folks around them and provided positive examples of trans to the general public. Such folks don't get much if any acknowledgement for their efforts.

I don't know if this young woman sought out the public attention she has gotten, but it has come to her along with the unwanted attention which has now hurt her and I fear will forever taint her achievement of homecoming queen. That she will forever be the "transgender homecoming queen". Maybe she wishes to be known as a transgender women rather than a woman. I don't know. If publicity was not her intention I feel sad for her.

What I do know is that she was a positive representative. That in her way, she has demonstrated what so many have done quietly...winning others over. For this she has my admiration and I sincerely hope that in the long term, in her own heart, with her own classmates and the people in her life that matters, she will remain a positive example.

[Carolyn Marie]

I agree completely, Drea. I think for most people, she is a great example of courage and determination. She also serves as a cautionary tale about the pitfalls of putting yourself out there, especially in these days of social media. I don't think either Cassidy Campbell or her parents thought through the possible downside, perhaps because she didn't really expect to win. Now that she is a celebrity, with likely requests for T.V. interviews, she will have to learn to cope. That's pretty tough for a 17 year old.

Being a community activist can be very rewarding, and it doesn't mean one has to give up their privacy to do so. But as I've mentioned many times before, we don't have to try to be anything to have an impact. As you mentioned, Drea, just going about our lives as examples of decent, hardworking regular folks makes all of us ambassadors for the Community. That is enough to make a difference.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[Guest]

Yes, way yes! Drea, you go girl! I certainly like popularity, but not the spotlight. The first attraction is my smile and loving self confidence. I will admit sometimes I react negatively but seldom. More and more smiling caring people come my way. People that get close to me often remark that I seem to take a lot of flack only to return it with love and compassion. Maybe I do? They also confide that they can't imagine what it is like to be inside of me and go through what I go through. They don't go away and I am remembered long after. I keep sings the song that Drea gave the lyrics best. I see that in Carolyn too, so I know it works universaly and I'm not special. Many others here are my shining examples. All girls go through an awkward adolescence, we must too. Then we blossum.

Again I say, use your charm to disarm, smile openly with sparkle in your eyes and do the very best with what you have. The prettiest girl friends can give me admiring hugs, but the ones I look to are the everyday women that are blessed, as I am blessed. They are not beauty pagent queens just beautiful wonderful women in their own right. That is how I take my place in womanhood too. We look at ourselves far more critically than the rest of the world does.

I was at a salon on the weekend for a beauty school, my girl friend wanted to give me new highlights. Wow! I'll take it. She did confide in me later that all the girls loved our girl conversations and they thought that some of my girl expressions, (that I do unaware, when I am doing them) are so cute. I seem to wind up like the world oldest kid sister. The compliments are so charming to me. OK Jody what's the point? I'm a girl, be a girl. hang with your girl friends, don't try to glom onto one as a romance that will save you. Just be a girl amoung girls. "Ohhhh girls just wanna have funnnnnn..." Giggle. Just be you and do it! Hug. JodyAnn

[Guest DianeATL]

Drea - you may have heard the old saying, you know how you can spot the pioneers, they are the ones with the arrows in their back.

She is a pioneer and with that will come much pain but without her, we can't get to the next step where a Trans Girl wins homecoming queen and it is not even footnoted in the article that she is trans. We evolve as a society and unfortunately can't make jumps from where we are to where we should and eventually will be, without steps in between.

Back in my day, desegregation and busing were the big talk. They consolidated some schools and combined my HS with an all black HS. We as students really did not have any problems to speak of with it. But one of the interim steps to ease the transition that I am reminded of here, was that we actually had 2 homecoming queens that year. One representing the former black HS and one from the rest of the population. At that time, the votes were only cast among the football players for that honor and we just came up with the idea so that there would not be competing factions within our group. By the next year, it was merged back into one but that represented a step from where we were to where we needed to be. In education speak, scaffolding from current to future knowledge.

Your assessment is very valid and it is unfortunate that attention had to be called to her status and she will carry that label for a long time. I think from what I read, she did it the right way. It did not appear to be a joke at all and I never saw any mention of anti trans baiting. To me it was very encouraging that their generation was making a statement that they accept her and other trans people as valid full members of their society. That brings a lot of hope to me.

Diane

[JJ]

Very well said. Thank you Drea

Johnny

[Guest LizMarie]

I will state that I disagree, that what this girl accomplished does matter. I am not sure how I can come to the conclusion that what any human being does in a positive manner, whether they are trans or not, does not matter but I guess we'll have to disagree on that observation.

Yes, she won over her classmates but other people, who do not know someone trans and who see this now have a positive image of a trans girl. What can possibly be bad about that?

My primary point is that acceptance of gays and lesbians increased throughout society once they became more visible and seen as just other human beings. So long as extremists and haters can falsely conjure up the "other" when referring to trans folk, we will continue to see the sort of hateful and spiteful attacks that this girl experienced afterwards. But what will most likely happen over time, precisely because of public visibility like this, is that the number of those attacks will diminish, that the safety and well-being of trans folk will improve, and that our place in society will become more secure and accepted. Because that is what happened for gays and lesbians. Yes, a major part of this is winning over those around you but we also shouldn't wilt in the face of bigotry.

Rosa Parks didn't seek the national spotlight. She just wanted to be treated fairly riding the bus. Jenna Talackova didn't seek the national spotlight. She just wanted to compete in a beauty pageant. And Cassidy Lynn Campbell didn't seek the national spotlight either. She just wanted to compete for homecoming queen.

This is all I have to say and I will not debate the above points nor respond further here.

[Guest Sarah Faith]

Thanks for sharing Drea, I agree. I actually spent a good period of time posting and debating with some of the people bashing her on one of the news sites but ultimately many of the ones who come out of the woodwork when this stuff hits the national press don't really care about anything we could possibly say.

You're right on the money in regards to the average person on the street, I've had almost no problems at all with the people who knew me before, people at the DMV, people at my bank, insurance office, dentist, doctor, etc. By and large if you're comfortable with your self, and don't act wierd about it in my experience the average person will not feel weird about it either. The average person does not hate transmen and women, the average person probably doesnt care.

When you take these things and try to turn them into national accomplishments all that will happen is you will draw out the segment of the population that absolutely despises us and couldn't care less how bad it makes them look. Personally I view her winning Homecomming queen as a great personal accomplishment for her, as she is a pretty young woman who should feel great about it and carry the memory forward as any other girl would. I respect her enough to see her as a woman first, as trans second.

Just a shame it had to be put in the press so every psycho with a computer could bash her.

[Guest Jenn348]

Eventually it will become unfashionable to act that way, just like when old people get racist now and it embarrasses the kids.

Most people will learn to keep their mouths shut, but a few bigoted loudmouths will always be with us