Help...or Advice...please?

[Guest unsureone]

I am a 15 year old boy who has many thoughts going inside his mind. From the outside, im a boy...but deep inside there is something that is nagging me -- the girl side of me. I don't know what to do...

I like being a boy but the thought of being a girl has been strong inside me. Sometimes i think of how i would be if i were a girl and sometimes i just wish that a magical geni would appear and grant my wish. No matter how much i try to live my life normal, i always have these thoughts.

Any advice or help???

P.S.

Personally, i dont care if i become a girl...

[Sally]

First I would like to welcome you to the forums, come on in and sit down.

Have a cup of hot cocoa and some cookies, the food is virtual the freindly people are not.

I am not a gender therapist so I am not going to try to trll you who you are.

I would suggest that seeing a gender therapist as a first step, they can help you to find where you need to go.

I'm a good deal older and just starting to transion to female.

We have the whole spectrum here and individually seperated forums as well, look around and read, ask questions, offer advice and give your opinions - we want to hear from you too.

Watch, a lot of nice people are going to be coming by.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Naomi Stardust]

first off, there is no normal

second, there's been a shortage of geni's since i was a kid, i know because i was always looking for one

a gender therapist is a wonderful first step

but the first step is always the hardest

so for now, keep learning more about gender issues

talk to lots of people who have or are going through what you are

be patient, you don't have to figure everything out at once, even though it would be nice, it's not likely to happen

so try not to worry too much

and maybe

if you're comfortable

wear one girly thing in public

find a frizzy pink scarf, pretend it's a joke, you might feel better wearing it

and it might help to find out what other people think

but only if you are comfortable enough to try it

no point in doing that if you'll be a nervous wreck because of it

hope you find some good answers (even if they're not mine, which they're not likely to be)

good luck

[Guest androgynous]

Hi unsureone!

I agree with the other posters, but I also like to give my opinion and small gem of advice. First off: don't worry. It all will fall into it's proper place over time, even if you are unsure right now, understand that you have other feelings as well. You will benefit more from grasping those ideas & thoughts rather than to deny them. I would say: embrace those feelings, let it flow and don't be afraid of what others might think or say, or even do. Fear is the steppingstone to the next and maybe new level in your growth. But also be cautious with others, you might find out that not everyone will understand you, simply because it's special. You are special in your own way. But again, don't let that influence your life or your ideas of what you feel and what you think you are.

Society more or less expects everyone to be either one, male or female. If you feel that you are one of them, then be that. If you feel you are both (as in androgynous) or neither (also androgynous) then be that. But don't rush things, take time and explore what you like, where your interests are and keep them close.

As a help, there is something that I like to do pretty often:

I grab a piece of paper and write down MALE & FEMALE. beneath either I write down which things I have in common with that gender. This is fun, and it can clear up a lot of confusion. It might sound simple, but it's a good way to visualize what treats you share with the other gender. You can also make subdivisions where you write down what you like to look like, or how you want to be seen by others and also how you want to present yourself. Type of clothes, your interests in both gender treats. By doing this, you can find out more about yourself. If both lists do not match up, don't worry you still can be either, but have more of the other.

If you have any questions, please ask them, your not alone.

[Guest unsureone]

Thank you very much for the advice

but its not 100% of what im looking for

but it is enough for right now

[Guest Donna Jean]

Oh my, Welcome to the Playground....

Have seat and get real comfey..

I think the advice has been good...no one here can tell you what you need to do..just suggest and try to help...

It's a big hard world, listen to some of these caring people...they care....OK?

Nice to have you here..

XXOO

Donna Jean

[Guest Irielle]

I am a 15 year old boy who has many thoughts going inside his mind. From the outside, im a boy...but deep inside there is something that is nagging me -- the girl side of me. I don't know what to do...

Hi Unsureone - I remember going through the same thing you are talking about. I went ahead and did the girly things I was comfortable with. My mom taught me to knit and crochet and my grandmother taught me to hook rugs and they all helped teach me to cook, things like that. I also did my boy things but I was never a tough guy at all. It was a hard time for me. I guess I just did what I was comfortable doing but still had to keep most of it a secret.

As far as not knowing what to do? Listen to her, listen to the girl inside of you and she will tell you what she wants and needs.

I like being a boy but the thought of being a girl has been strong inside me. Sometimes i think of how i would be if i were a girl and sometimes i just wish that a magical geni would appear and grant my wish. No matter how much i try to live my life normal, i always have these thoughts.

Wow, I waited forEVER for that genii but she never came. I always wanted a magic wand so I could change back and forth between being a boy and a girl depending upon how I felt at the time. It turns out I'm androgyne, I'm both male and female in a boy's body. I like being a boy but know I should have been born a girl. But I'm okay with that and I like the way I am.

Oh, and by the way? You ARE normal.

You. Are. Normal.

Just because you don't seem to fit the 'standard' by which gender and sex are measured by others does NOT in any way mean you are not normal. You are you and that is what matters. Those thoughts are you, honor them.

Follow your heart and pay attention to your dreams. They will always tell you the truth. It's okay if you are a boy, it's okay if you are a girl, it's okay if you are both, or neither one. It's okay whatever gender(s) you are. As long as you are happy and you are honest to yourself.

Everyone here is on your side.

Sorry, I do tend to go on - I don't like to see people in pain and I wish everyone happiness.

Big hug from me

Iri

Any advice or help???

P.S.

Personally, i dont care if i become a girl...

[Guest Evan_J]

Yeah I waited for that genie too. Turned out he was a gray haired guy who transitioned 23 years ago (my therapist) Get a therapist, listen to yourself , the genie is there Oh, and listen to what Irielle says