Troubled Belgian Transman Euthanized

[Carolyn Marie]

This story has been carried in several online news outlets. I don't know for certain how much of it is accurate. If true, it is a horrible thing, and I can't believe a modern Western society tolerates this kind of euthanasia. The story has already been picked up by some conservative news outlets and bloggers as "proof" that we are all deranged.

http://gendertrender.wordpress.com/tag/nancy-verhelst/

Carolyn Marie

[VickySGV]

A full reading of the article shows that this is basically an assisted suicide that is legally available in Belgium regardless of straight, gay or trans*.

I look at this as one more suicide, which the TG community suffers from frequently.

The problem here was that an M.D. and informed consent took a wrong turn. The practice is across the board though, and not limited to TG people. What's another suicide in our statistical population though? There was an ease of availability of the suicide assistance, but where was the same ease of getting psychiatric and social service help?

[Guest Mia J]

I wonder if this person was really transsexual in the first place. In the story he says was mistreated by his family because he was not a boy. Was he doing this for their acceptance? In any case this is a very sad story and those who oppose us will have a field day with it.

Mia

[Drea]

Yep, basically assisted suicide. While I don't agree in that, it is better than the inference that he was euthanized involuntarily for simply being trans.

Situations like this raise questions about legitimacy of treatment. Severe issues/regrets post-transition, post-surgery is not as rare as many in the community would like to believe.

It is entirely possible that this person wasn't a transsexual, but who is to decide? Maybe he was, but needed other aspects of treatment more.

Did this person have sufficient therapy? Was he screened properly? Did he have reasonable expectations or made the decisions to do all this based on some fantasy and wishful thinking.

I've noted a strong de-emphasis on therapy, more do it yourself transitions and more focus on transition rather than all the potential less extreme options, so it doesn't surprise me if there is an upward trajectory in bad outcomes compared to outcomes in the past which established gender role transition and surgeries as effective treatments.

[Guest KimberlyF]

The mother called the child ugly, was disappointed in having a girl and was not upset with the news of the death.

If this individual IDed as male, and a therapist questioned if perhaps they had issues with seeking acceptance from a disturbed mother, many in the community would say the therapist is out of line.

Anyway you look at it, it's a sad story.

[JJ]

Sadly this is also a cautionary tale about raising expectations among FTMs concerning surgery as well. I agree the therapist should have caught it or made sure he was prepared for the potential reaction. Nor do I agree with assisted suicide because someone is unhappy. Terminal illness with physical suffering yes-I have watched too many people die a slow and ugly death with no dignity left not to support that-but this type of suicide is altogether different.

Not that suicide is unusual among transmen. Some stats I have seen estimate as high as 80% by age 40. But impossible to know for sure. If he had not had legal means the results may still have been the same and hopefully some dialog about the pain and difficulties we face will also come from it rather than about our instability. I do know that with the changes in society that should be changing - especially with prospects on the horizon for dramatically improved surgical options for us. And we can learn to adjust to our realities and have good lives in time. It didn't have to be this way. Should not have been.

The system failed here because it allowed someone with mental rather than physical pain to chose a premature and final solution and the therapist as well as the surgeon failed to weed out a poor candidate for surgery. The realities of surgeries for us mean scars in every case. Mean probable complications and results many would find less than satisfactory and it is important that anyone who is contemplating surgery know that. If they then need to proceed then that is fine but obviously this poor guy was not prepared for the realities or was desperate enough to ignore them for what he wanted to hear and believe.

May he find the peace he sought though I do not support his action

Johnny

[Guest LizMarie]

Here's a response from a transwoman. I know that the old mantra is that we have to be responsible, that we have to not let others define us, but for many of us, having that support network, especially early on when coming to terms with our GID, whether we transition or not, is critical.

Nathan did not have that sort of support, especially from his mother. That's truly sad.

http://www.chicagonow.com/trans-girl-cross/2013/10/love-of-a-parent-saved-life/

[Guest Jenn348]

I too have trouble with the idea of assisted suicide for people with potentially solvable problems, but OTOH, if somebody isn't allowed an assisted suicide there is still 100% availability for suicide of the unassisted variety, which unfortunately too many trans people reach for in all countries.

Sad story no matter which way you cut it. Shame on the opportunists who use this as a way to not only "prove" that we're nuts but also create false links with "European socialism", etc.

I'm fairly conservative, but very libertarian, but people assume that being trans means I'm automatically some sort of left-wing nutjob who worships Chairman Mao and sacrifices babies or something. Pretty insulting, really, to assume that as a trans person I have no individuality