HuffPost. The Dark Side of Being Transgender: Having Little Choice

[Guest]

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/danielle-kaufman-md/the-dark-side-of-being-transgender-having-little-choice_b_3692430.html

[Guest]

Yes indeed I understand those feelings. Hug. JodyAnn

[Cyndee]

Yeah good article, I happened to like "silo99" comments below.

[Guest LilyRose]

For me, I have one choice. Become a woman or die. Being in my current man body is just the worst feeling in the world sometimes. This article correctly describes those feelings. Thanks for sharing!

Hugs!

Lily Rose

[Guest Rebecca A]

great article, it isn't a choice, at least not for me totally relate.

[Guest]

"what happened to just being an effeminate man who likes to wear dresses? why does every inclination and idea have to be a new "identity?" "

"Because an effeminate man is still a man . She's a woman."

Geez giggle, Nobody gets us! Do they have an effeminate Forum somewhere too? Jody

[Guest Mia J]

Good article and interesting comments.

Thanks.

Mia

[Guest GinaInside]

That article is so very correct. If only science, and the medical establishment would catch up. Trans is still listed as a "mental illness", they still refuse to face that our body issues are not hard-wired into us. This is so NOT a "choice", if it were, I would definately not have chosen it. I totally understand the writer's explanation of her situation, at the core it is the same for all of us. If only there were a way to convey this to the rest of the world.

[Guest KimberlyF]

This is a bit of a confusing piece to me where the author seemed to flip and flop back and forth with her own feelings. Sometimes in the same sentence.

"Gender is largely a societal construct. All this "feminine" stuff I'm practicing how to do is learned, a product of our culture. If I want to look feminine, I have to adopt these culturally derived standards of dress, behavior, and speech."

On this, I agree. If one wants to appear feminine, there are rules to follow.

"No matter what I do, I'll always be a trans woman, second-rate. There will always be people who won't accept me, because they think I'm a fraud. I wouldn't have that problem if I were a born woman."

If she accepted herself, nothing else would matter.

"I have said before that I like being a trans woman..."

Ah...it looks like she does. Never mind!

"I'm stuck spending my whole life looking over the fence, wishing I were on the inside. Sometimes it's hard to believe all this struggle is worthwhile. But, again, I have little choice."

Nope...back to square 1. She transitioned because she had to, and was still on this other side of the fence? Seems like a lot of self-segregating and esteem issues. A cancer patient may feel they have little choice but to be treated w/chemo. But once the treatment runs it's course, hopefully the patient is free of the torment. She needed to focus on how she viewed herself and the language she used to talk about herself. Was it positive or destructive?

We'll never know if she ever found happiness, as she died a few weeks back.

As for the comments, I take Silo's to be very anti-late transitioner.

"You don't suddenly arrive at the conclusion you're a woman in your 50s nor is it tolerable until the convenience of retirement."

The author came out to the wife as a gay man first at 49, I believe.

[Guest GinaInside]

That article is so very correct. If only science, and the medical establishment would catch up. Trans is still listed as a "mental illness", they still refuse to face that our body issues are not hard-wired into us. This is so NOT a "choice", if it were, I would definately not have chosen it. I totally understand the writer's explanation of her situation, at the core it is the same for all of us. If only there were a way to convey this to the rest of the world.

I meant to say : Trans is still listed as a "mental illness", they still refuse to face that our body issues ARE hard-wired into us.

Sorry for the repeat, wish we had an edit function.

[VickySGV]

Gina -- PM a Mod if you would like to have a post edited.

Kim -- Where did you get the info the main author of this died??

[Guest LizMarie]

The full bio on the same website, Vicky.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/danielle-kaufman-md/

[Guest KimberlyF]

I tried to post this a while ago but it never showed. May have poofed.

http://www.ebar.com/news/article.php?sec=news&article=69146

[Guest Melissa~]

It is my assumption that her death was suicide, no report has been made public. But her spouse mentioned that there was a setback that came up prior to her death and general circumstances, Mrs Kaufman herself implied she had planned suicide more than a little.

[Guest LizMarie]

Kim's article also mentions a brain inflammation from which she had never really recovered. Without more information, I'm not going to speculate on cause of death.

[Guest KimberlyF]

No speculation needed.

http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/4072395

[Guest GinaInside]

That second post was hard to read, especially the last paragraph.

Rest In Peace, Danielle.