Post purge wardrobe rebuilding

[Guest Brenda Hailey]

I went shopping today at a couple stores underdressed with some guy clothes on top, and treated myself to a much needed wardrobe expansion I spent hours in each store shopping in the womens section with such bravery I couldnt beleive it. These have been the first times I have gone out without trembling and worrying. My confidence and assertiveness is getting stronger. I just told myself I have a right to shop here for clothes I want to wear and if people dont like it tough! I have a right to my feelings and I have a right to feel good. Throughout my history shooping in stores for womens clothes has been hit and miss as far as having enough courage to actually do it vs driving to the store and chickening out at the last minute. My trips to the store lately have been much different something in me has changed I dont know how to explain it but I feel my right to shop the womens department is finally my right.

In times past when I did have enough courage to shop I only bought a couple things at a time nervous as all get out and it took forever to to build a nice closet, ebay has always been my first choice for obvious reasons. I am not doing any more proxy shopping because of forsaken courage,,,,I am owning this stuff now, end of story.

Anyway the stores are jamb packed with Christams shoppers which in times past would have made it impossible to even consider buying clothes at this time,,,but lately I just dont care about that any more. I spent hours in each department holding clothes up to my chest checking length up afainst my legs checking sleeve lengths the whole bit.....I even took my loads of womens clothes to the dressing rooms and tried on tons of womens jeans to "finally" find the sizes that fit me the best,13 and 14 fit pretty good depending on style and brand.I am SO glad I did this I now have a pants collection that actually fits me the way I like them too,plus too I realized the the power skinny jeans have over me, I never knew how intoxicatingly RIGHT a pair of jeans could be AMAZING. Putting my male jeans back on after a few dressing sessions pretty much sucked,,,,they grew 100 times uglier in the hour of trying on girl jeans than any of the years past of wearing boy jeans.

Something is happening to me I am slowly and naturally just hating the things I used to wear with a whole new passion and zeal....lol

The customer lines were interesting and the looks on peoples faces as a large (man) rolls up with a cart full of pretty clothes, nobody said anything to me and the sales clerks were all kind and polite....and we all smiled.

I find myself imagining what they are saying to themselves while I am l laughing and joyous that I finally have a bunch of clothes I want and I didnt give ANY of these people the power to ruin my time.

I wonder why I used to be so terrified of doing this before? There is still a "bit" of apprehension but it quickly melts away when I am in the clothes isles with all those beautiful colors and clothes.

I find bras are the most difficult thing to find because I am such a large girl my body frame is a 44 but I am not into overly huge D breasts so the choices seem limited as to what I really want to wear ,but I will keep working on it ,I have a few bras that fit decent but not exactly what I want. I need to explore more options there.

Anyway I just thought I would share that these last few trips have helped me to realize my overall "STYLE" because I have been taking my time and making better choices of the clothes I realy like, and that its not just about the underware. I am currently a blouse and jeans girl,and never even knew it.

It feels really good knowing that this time the clothes are here to stay,,,,,because Brenda says so :-)

[Charlize]

I'm glad you are getting confident. It takes so much time to get past the fear and the thought that we are doing something wrong. After I came out it took me weeks to fight the urge to hide when folks came to the farm to buy something or just to visit. Fear and hiding were just built into me. Each time you get past that fear it gets better until you don't even think about it any more. That time is a miracle but only seen when something points it out. I do find it much easier to shop for women's clothes now that i'm living as myself. I strangely don't need to be brave anymore.

Just remember you are doing anything wrong. Any intelligent sales person will be glad of the sale so you also have the power of the purse.

Hugs,

Charlie

[Guest meagan]

My early fear was more about being scorned by the gender I wanted to be apart of. Not so much about whether it was wrong of me to do some shopping. Getting past the fear and finding the girls helping me was the best feeling. As my fears and worries faded I shopped like crazy. It felt great, but now that I am where I am into my HRT. I wish I did not shop as much. My body changed a lot. Lost lots of weight, grew my little breasts and gained a rounder nicer back side. So lots of my clothes didn't fit as good as they once did. But , that just meant shopping some more. I also knew my style and the things I liked and did good at buying, but I gained more experience and now I am even better at my choices. My outfits come together better and I always accept tips from my girl friends on things that would suit me best. I am at a point now where I have just started to post my own outfit of the day (OOTD) on another forum with some very stylish and well put together women. So far I have 2 outfits I posted and have received amazing comments and asked to post more. It feels great to be me and I am excited that you are on the same path and feeling your own success. Congratulations!

Hailey

[Guest ~Brenda~]

Hi Brenda

Congratulations on your newly found courage.

That is very good to hear.

Love

Brenda

[Guest Guest_]

Brenda. Confidence is such a wonderful thing. When I read your post it was as if I had written it myself. Laura's really helped me realize that there was nothing wrong with me or my desire to dress in women's clothing. Live your life for you and enjoy yourself. Congrats on your new found confidence. Hugs Amber L.