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Guest jesica

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Hi I have been a transvestite since i can remember and since this is my first time

that I am part of a chat group i have lots and lots of questions??????????

If only i have excepted my self for who i am a long time ago i could have

Safe d myself from all the pain i was going through.

so enough about the past .

Question :I stay in south africa in a very small town of farmer s i work out of town

for a big corporate company as part of top management , every now and then i have

to go out to social events where most of the people have remarks about people

like me now you must understand south africa is still very old school in most of the

country .

These remarks upsets me and i am scared what will they say or do if they only knew about


Is there is anyone who can give me advise as what to do in this situation ?

Jesica ;)

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Is there is anyone who can give me advise as what to do in this situation ?

No, probably not. There are a lot of fatheads and bigots in this world and I've never learned what to do about them.

A friend of a friend did me a great favor at short notice by driving me somewhere 200 miles away.

He was a nice old guy in his 60's. During the six hours up and back we had mostly pleasant conversation.

Then he would jump in with some of the most racist and sexist comments about his previous co-workers.

I thought that people with that kind of mentality had died off years ago. Apparently not.

Unfortunately, I think that shooting them would be setting a bad precedent. (And I'm not actually violent, either.)

All I can say, be strong, be yourself. There are still nice people in this world.


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  • Root Admin

Hello Jesica,

I think common sense should prevail here. Be very careful of what you say and do around people you know are bigoted. You don't want to risk losing your job and,or become a social outcast. These people do exist and we have to learn how to interact with them in order to survive. Take care.

MaryEllen :)

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  • 2 weeks later...
Guest Sally Stone


I think people make derogatory comments about crossdressers for two reasons. One reason is they don't understand crossdressers or crossdressing. Since they don't understand it, they find it strange or weird. I think most people who make unflattering comments about us fall into this category. They are simply uninformed. The second reason is that people tend to be followers, and when one person makes a derogatory comment the followers lack the personal strength to keep from joining in or countering the comment.

In any case, the best thing you can do is to try and not take such comments personally. They don't know you are a crossdresser so you don't have to worry that your secret will be discovered.

Of course, you could jump into the conversation and defend crossdressers. There wouldn't be anything wrong with that, but it would take extra courage.

Ultimately, try not to worry what others say. You are not weird or a freak. You are a crossdresser, and there is no shame in that. Just remember there is safety in numbers, and there are countless thousands of us out here who are just like you.



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Hi all:

Most of these bigots (much too nice a word for them) do not make any differentiation at all.

I doubt that they could say exactly what a transvestite is.

Their logic is as follows:

Different => Homosexual => I hate them => They deserve a bashing

It's depressing, but that's the way it is. They are not all going to change in my lifetime.

What put me in so morose a mindset was a murder (that I would call a hate crime)

that occurred a block from where I work. And it's a small town.

Gay Man Beaten to Death


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