Thought about going back to my old church

[Guest Motormouth18]

Ever since I came out on Facebook, I had thought about going back to my church since I had gotten positive feedback. I have alot of the church's members of FB. I guess that you could say that I had a "feeling" that this might be a good idea. My church is A New Testament church, so I figured that they would tolerate, I guess, of me being trans and gay. I got my answer last night, and it wasn't that.

Last night, my pastor's wife PM'ed me on Facebook because she had read some of my posts and was concerned about me. She and I first started out about my mom. She said that my mom can't just kick me out. I looked it up, and in the state of Georgia, if you're over 18 and not paying rent, you can be kicked out. We then got on the subject of displays of affection, which I hate and feel awkward receiving them, but yet at our church, I had to put up with the hugs.

I then explained why I hadn't been going to church, because I'm a FtM who is gay. She said that was sin, but that she wouldn't judge me. However, she couldn't speak for others. She said that it is a sin in the new testament as well:

"Because God didn't design us to be a same sex unity. He told us to be fruitful and multiply and have dominion over the earth. A man and a man cannot conceive a child nor can a woman and a woman. Even the New Testament speaks against it" ( her exact message back to me) She never gave me any verses to back that up, though.

I explained to her that I can't change who I am. I didn't ask to be this way, who would? I can force myself to be others would want me to be, but I would live a miserable life. I don't think that God would want that. If you and other people want to force me to be a female just to be straight because that's what you think God wants, well then give me a gun, so that ya'll will be happy. There's no way that I can take living as a female much longer, and definitely not for the rest of my life. I would rather die than do that.

She wishes that I would give it more time, and my feelings will change. People have told me that most of my life, and that hasn't happened. I guess for now, church isn't an option. I believe that the people who have known most of my life, would be at least tolerate.(I've gone to that church since I was 3 and became a member at age 9). There are a few that are the "holier than thou" type that I'm afraid would make me not be welcomed back. I want to go, but I don't want to be a target, either.

[VickySGV]

My condolences to you on what happened there. Back when I was in my early college days, I was in a Presbyterian Sunday School class that was taught by a seminarian who was "sponsored" by the congregation, and who was in his second year there. He began making some statements about some writings contained in Bibles used by other churches, especially the Catholic ones that he meant to be derogatory and explain why they were damnably wrong. I actually had a Bible with those books in it, and began reading one to the group without telling them where it came from. (A beautiful poem about creation). The guy told me "That's beautiful and SOOOOO true!!" At that point, I let him know it was from the scriptures he was knocking all over the place!! His face was a bright shade of red!! I was not intending to be mean or disrespectful, but boy did I get some looks!!

The other one I had was an evening study group lead by the wife of one of the other seminarians, and she was going on about what a scripture said, but I had a copy of it from a more recent Bible translation, and asked "how can you get that idea from this scripture?' which I read to her, but I included a verse before and after her text. She exploded that I was not quoting from the Bible. Her spouse came in then and was about to blast me too, when I held up the Bible I was reading from. Seems that neither one had read the whole thing and the different phasing really threw them a looper!! Pride in being a seminary family made them a little high on power.

I suspect your PW is the second example there, she takes her "knowledge" from her spouse's position, but does not really know the Bible any better than most Sunday School teenagers. There is an organization known as SoulForce (Google it) that has some good stuff on it about the Bible and GLBT.

[Guest Motormouth18]

My church's preacher is an evangelistic type preacher. I'm not really concerned with the Sunday sermons as I doubt that I could handle 2 hours of my pastor preaching on 5 verses or so. I want to go more on Wednesday nights, for the youth meetings. Both of them are "turned Christians". They found Christ after years of going down the wrong path. They're both super nice people, but I spent 3 hours crying last night because I can't change who I am.

[Bulldog1948]

You can always watch good church programs on TV. That way, if you do find some of the preaching upsetting you, you can always mute or flip them off. Please do not allow some church people keep you from hearing the word of God.

The old time Billy Graham crusades have been playing a lot- I always enjoyed him. Then, if you want someone who adds funny stories to their sermons check out Jesse DuPlantis; he's a Cajun and funny as all get out.

You do not need anyone one telling you that you are going to heck, just because you are trans and gay. That is God's decision not theirs. But, I will tell you this, once you have accepted the Lord Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior you place in heaven will always be there waiting on you- no matter what others may say; it's a done deal. So get saved and enjoy your life. That way when others rant against you you can just smile and walk on. It will blow their minds. And the good part is, that even if you screw up you can always ask for forgivness and you will receive it.

Walk on my friend, shake the dust from thy sandels. In other wods keep on truckin....

Mike

[Charlize]

Motormouth i have to say that i hate to think of you getting into a situation where you may be subjected to hate just for being you. I know you are out now but it seems foolish to walk into such nasty words and feelings. I think church is a wonderful way to be with a higher power and find friendship as well but please find a congregation that has a somewhat open mind. We often cannot convert others as they cannot and should not try to convert us.

Hugs,

Charlie

[Guest Brenda Hailey]

I am sorry you cant go and be who you want at your church.

However it could be a blessing in disguise, nobody should subject themselves to dogmatic bigotry.

Bible Verse and Doctrine really doesnt have to define who you are.

You can still be you and still be loved by God,you dont need another persons approval for this and you dont need sombody elses misinterpreted verses either.

God is in our hearts, I would look for him there,not in books temples or men.

Brenda Hailey

[Guest Motormouth18]

I've been saved for nearly ten years. I went to that church for 15 years, which is why I'm so upset over this. I'm a member of it, too. I've known most of the people there for years. They know that I'm different, and always have been.

[VickySGV]

One of the big problems people have with the idea of "Being Saved" is that to them, it makes their life the standard for "Getting In To Heaven. If the other person who believes their life is the benchmark of salvation is doing it differently, it scares Hell INTO the other one. I do not use the term "Saved" for my life, I have been given Baptism which I believe is my re-birth, and that is all I will answer to either the "Born Again" or "Saved" factions of Christianity. I am a Baptized member of the Body Of Christ, go in peace!!

Your assurance in your faith life scares other people. You are different, and in ways they do not get from holding a hand up at altar call. You are enough different they cannot see Christ in you as Christ truly is and will be. They need their faith in a pretty picture like themselves (they think), or it is terrifying. They cannot see the calm and joy being shown in you and on you by the Highest One.

[Guest Motormouth18]

I have had another conversation with my PM. She has said that as long as they are there, there won't be any hatr against someone. She's going to talk with the youth minister, who is a very nice young man, so maybe... my fingers are crossed.

[Guest Motormouth18]

They've (preacher and youth minister) have agreed to welcome me back with open arms. I'll still most likely be called by female pronouns, but maybe not. I'll find out next Wednesday.

[VickySGV]

[Guest chargrl1]

I'm glad I read down on this, the first post was all that I saw by email notification.

Hi Motormouth,

Think of me just the opposite of you, as far as gender. I have searched for a lot of different churches where I might findreligious solace, but so far just haven't found it. Mostly I've just given up on it, and have just turned to reading the Bible mostly. Some radio and TV, although the ministers that I watch or listen to, I know they would not be accepting of me. they even go on rants about it sometimes. I have learned to hold back form emailing them or any other contact about it, the argument just isn't worth it.

I have to to learn that God is everywhere, and is not confined to a building or a box. I believe that if you have the spirit of God in your heart, that you will draw the right people to you in time, or the right circumstance will make themselves know. I have to say, that gender identity does not define who we are attracted too. for me at this time, the best thing for me is to have nobody and just live my life. I would far rather be alone than incur the wrath of people for what they think. Maybe someday I will find a girl who is accepting of me and wants to live life with me. But it's not a goal, and can't be. At least for me.

I hope I am giving you positive feedback for thought without being too vague. I don't want this internet board to become too personal.

BTW..............I see you are in Oregon, and I am also. so know that there are people near where you are that feel supportive of you, and would never think of calling you a pronoun that does not agree with who you are. that's a whole different discussion that I'm not going to touch because I will go off on a rant! LOL!

charlene