A return to Laura's and an update on my life

[Guest Alexis L]

Hello everyone

I figured since this was the time to return to Laura's it was also time for an update on my life.

A lot has happened since may 2012. In June/July I came out to my roommates and friends as gay. I figured that it would be a good way to explore my feminine side without them questioning it. I even began planning to come out as gay to my family since I figured it would get me disowned by my father and I wouldn't have to deal with them anymore. This may seem like a bad thing to say, but over the past 1 1/2 years I was able to learn to talk about and begin moving on from the physical, sexual, and emotional abuse I went through as a child. This is something that I wasn't able to talk about when I made my first introduction post.

My plan to come out though was stopped, when in August my father had to have an emergency triple heart bypass. This left him blind and with less than a year to live. I decided at the time that I would wait to come out as anything to them until after my father passed away. This was a bit for him, but mostly it was for the chance that I would have of staying connected to my family if I came out after he was gone.

My father did not pass away until April 2013. It was a very tough year, but I really started going over my life and trying to come to terms with a number of things that I just couldn't talk about to anyone when I first was here at Laura's. I really should have started going to a therapist back then, but instead I used my friends as confidants. Just having people that I could talk to was therapy enough. It was like drawing out poison. It was slow and extremely painful, but with every bit I got out I became I little less broken.

In May of 2013 I dropped out of college. This may have been partly motivated by my father's death, but it was something I had been thinking about for months. The more I became comfortable with myself, the more I realized that I was going to school for something I didn't really want to do. I had started out in physics and then decided that I didn't want to devote my life to my career and that would be required of you.in physics. I switched into physics education since it would require less of my life, but as I planned to transition eventually I decided that I didn't want to try to be a public school teacher and transitioning. So I decided to leave school for awhile.

Throughout the summer of 2013 I went and worked in a factory with some friends so that we could get together the money to move to Portland. It was terrible and amazing at the same time. It was a summer of hard work and becoming even closer to my friends.

Once we got here, finding a job was surprisingly easy for most of us. I was working at a fast food joint and it sucked, but then something amazing happened. I got a job at a nonprofit that does a lot of work with the LGBTQ community.

Throughout all this I learned to express my inner femininity. I began wearing women's clothing mixed with men's. This has gotten to the point where really the only male clothing I have left is several t-shirts. Some days I'm entirely in women's clothing. I have also grown my hair out until it is almost shoulder length, and got my ears pierced. This has lead to it becoming a regular occurrence for people to use female pronouns when they meet me. I wouldn't say a daily thing, but it is close.

Now I'm at the point of being out to my friends, some of my coworkers, and I will be starting therapy in a week. I hope to have started laser by the end of the month, and hopefully HRT soon after that. I'm back at Laura's now, and I intend to stay, because I figure with all the changes that will be coming up over this year it would be best to have a place where I can talk about any problems with people who will fully understand.

And it still seems that I have a problem with creating walls of text

[Charlize]

Thank you for sharing. Walls of text can help us all. You are making such progress! Welcome back.

Hugs,

Charlie

[Guest Stacie Cheyenne]

I Agree with Charlie, Thank's for Sharing Your Story, I / We In fact, Most if not All of Us, Know All to we'll, The struggle's of Coming Out. Your an Inspiration and a Awesome and Wonderful Person, I Myself will be Starting with a Transgender / Transexual Therapist, That my Local area Outreach, Has been able to recommend. Good Luck to You & Glad Your Back @ LAURA'S PLAYGROUND,:

Your Friend: Stacie Cheyenne:

[Guest Lelia VA]

Your story is inspiring and shares with all of us that major hurdles in life are surmountable with love and patience. I'm glad your life is on track and that you are becoming yourself in all ways. With the events of the past year behind you, you are empowered to deal with anything else that might come your way!

Hugs and much love!

LeeLee

[Guest LizMarie]

Write, Alexis! Write! If it helps you, write!

You seem to be making steady progress towards your goals! I look forward to hearing more about your journey!

[Guest Alexis L]

Thank you all for taking the time to read this and your kind words

[Guest miss kindheart]

Hey Welcome Back Alexis,

vanna