I'm happy but I don't know what I am!?

[Guest Jonnycastle]

Hello world beauties,

It is truly a pleasure to be connecting to you today via this wonderfully "saint-like" in regards to advice and support.

I am happy, I understand how I feel and what I like. I have the greatest gift of always seeing the silver lining in the most hideous depths of most situations and also personal emotion.

I would like to describe myself and perhaps let you decide the category I best fit. I will attempt to simplify this as much as possible for you.

I was born a boy but 25 years ago this November. I was happily straight for 22 of these years until overnight I woke up a homosexual. I must make clear I had no homosexual tendencies prior to this and the transition was as literal as it sounds. I woke up gay! The strangest thing was I wasn't phased it wasn't a relief or a weight lifted the only emotion that that changed was the attraction from female to male. I carried on as a gay man unphased and again happy. Recently, probably within the last 6 months I have been waking up straight or waking up gay randomly. It all honestly it is like having a gay me and a straight me fighting to escape on an almost weekly basis, taking it it turns. This has resulted in myself stopping all relationships past friends as I can't see a way of being happy if one day I'm attracted to someone and the next day sadly repulsed. I dress in mens clothing although I can easily see alot of women wearing the same clothes so I guess to describe them as perhaps borderline women's casual clothes. I don't wear skirts or dresses. I wear full makeup that would be best Compared to the likes of Jeffree star. I think the look is androgynous but I'm unsure.

I am happy, is that an odd reaction to what some may think to be serious emotion upheaval. I feel that I should have felt this was harder but I just seem to accept the changes as fast as I change!

Your thoughts questions and comments as most welcome. I can't wait to speak to you.

Thanks for listening

Tomm

[Charlize]

Welcome dear. Gender and sexuality is often not related. I don't think you have to make a decision as long as you can find peace in your life. Hopefully you will find others here with whom you share a path. I found that just finding i was not alone helped me be comfortable as i discovered myself. Have a great time and keep smiling!

Hugs,

Charlie

[Guest Jonnycastle]

Charlie,

i am happy as i said i just wondered for the sake of meeting with the same pleasures and intrests. hopefully as you say ill find that here and find some new friends!!

Thanks!

Tomm

[Carolyn Marie]

Welcome to the Playground, Tomm. I must say, I don't recall meeting someone with quite your story. But that's the neat thing about this place; one meets the most interesting and amazing people.

I think the key thing you said is, "I am happ..." That's enough for me, and if its enough for you, then you're golden. Like I said, I haven';t met anyone else that I recall who said they changed sexual preference or gender identity on such a frequent basis, but just about anything is possible.

If you want to get more of a handle on who you are, a gender therapist can often be of assistance. But that is for you to decide. I look forward to hearing more about you.

I ask all our new members to please read the site Terms and Conditions. A link to the rules can be found at the lower right of every page.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[Guest Jonnycastle]

Carolyn,

Thanks for your reply I have to say I am surprised to have had a reply.

First off I hadn't thought of a gender therapist before, I think I might benefit from asking my current doctor about any options I may have.

I understand that this is a rare thing to happen as non of the doctors quite know what to make of it. I think I will have to see a specialist but only time will tell. Still no rush! I'm OK as I am at the moment. Easily pleased

Thanks again for your replies and ill check out the terms and conditions again now

Tomm

[Guest kristendk]

Hi Tomm, and welcome.

After reading your bio about what I guess might be considered "sequential" or "alternating" bisexuality, I wonder if "the answer" isn't zero or one relationships, but more than one relationship (both male and female)... with people who you have informed up-front about who you are and what you need. If you have your own sleeping arrangements, you don't have to be with anybody in particular on any given day.

There are a lot of people out there, so I would be surprised if some of them aren't right for you (and you for them).

Kristen

[Guest Jonnycastle]

who know what ill happen!! just glad to be here being myself!

[Guest devida]

Hello Tomm

Welcome to the weird and exciting world of gender fluidity. Be easy and enjoy yourself. Just because everyone has told you you must be this or that does not mean that you have to be. Consider yourself as a forerunner of a future that has not quite appeared yet but is sure to be. A future in which if gender fluidity and changing sexual preference isn't the norm it is common enough to be unexceptionable. If you're happy, be happy. Do what kristendk suggests. When you wake up in the morning, call the boyfriend or girlfriend you want to be with that day. You can have a wonderful life.

[Guest miss kindheart]

Hi Tomm

I'm happy but I don't know what I am!?

well i would say you are happy

Don't take that lightly, cause their are many in this world that are not happy

I am sorry to say that it probabally won't take you long to find some of those here

No one is in control of your happiness but you; therefore, you have the power to change anything about yourself or your life that you want to change.~Barbara de Angelis

As for trying to define what group you belong to, don't worry too much about all that

You are just like everyone else in this world in the fact that you are unique

When i was young people use to ask me what i want to be when i grow up, and i would say i want to be me, and how ever i turn out that is what i want to be

I guess i figured that way i would always be happy

for the most part i am

Sure i still got quite a bucket list of things to do B4 i die

But all in good time

I do love The Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.

Any way was nice talking to you

hope to see you in chat some day

Be Good

vanna

[Guest trickster]

Hi and welcome Tomm! I have heard of people who wake up one day and feel one gender, and then feel the opposite the next. I notice on different days, I'm more attracted to men then I am to females or vise versa (though that sounds different than what you experience). I would agree with the above posts - as long as you're happy, that's all that matters. Why label yourself! Just keep on enjoying being you If you're able to just go with the flow, that's great! Most people can't seem to experience that. Why box in that wonderful, big, life-changing experience with a dull label?

[Guest]

This is how I feel...

[Guest Kendall]

The only similar situation that may be similar to yours is multigender or genderfluid. Though those are issues of multi gender identity rather than issues of orientation, unless it is somehow connected to individual gender personalities. It is just a possibility. I don't diagnose, I just support you as long as there is no distress. Go with what you are happy. If you have concerns consult a therapist, like the others say.