An admittedly incoherent bio

[Guest frida314]

MJust reading a lot, hopeing to find anything. Really feel down that I feel pretty much as bad as a kid in the 50s. Don't fit in with the boys, 1st generation American of German descent after W War II living in a town that had many lost in the camps. My parents were bigoted and prejudiced. My friends, all girls, were the ones who I looked up to, I learned who they had lost in the horrors. A fractured family I had, no common values. Early on, I have been a progressive liberal in a conservative, heritage bound family.

From my window, I watched kids outside, wondering who they were, what they did, do they know one another.

Family never, ever talked of personal matters. Never about differences of boys and girls. Back then, I guess adults thought kids would just figured it out amongst themselves. Dad worked 6 1/2 days a week, not much to see as a role model. I believe, and cannot prove anymore, that I was the unexpected birth. A family will bond, but I believe that a caring love is diminished if the child was not really wanted.

As a teen, I really wanted to bond with my girlfriend, and when we hung out, we hung out with her girl friends, not other guys. In hindsight, I think physical encounters felt like I wanted to just cringe and ignore the, run away and yet was fascinated with the unknown. Always been like that since.

So, where am I tonight, 6 decades later,

Transgender, yes. Gender queer, a new possibility that just came up. Transsexual, not likely. Also, might be one who can't concentrate, I can't recall the term, not dyslexic, but another. I'm tired, I have tried, so many attempts and much as I ever was.

Maybe this was more a biography than anything else. Took hours to write, wanted to say it for years. Post it or not. Love you all. Namaste.

[Cyndee]

Good Morning Frida,

Don't worry about labels, just be yourself.

I hope you find the peace you are seeking, peace from this "gender noise", the noise that masks the clarity we all deserve....

Hugs

Cyndi -

[Charlize]

Namaste, I'm glad you posted. It often helps to arrange our thoughts as we write them. I've always preferred being with groups of women and that has become even more comfortable with transition.

As Cyndi said labels are unimportant. Finding peace within yourself is why i transitioned. That peace is what we all crave.

Thanks for sharing.

Hugs,

Charlie

[Carolyn Marie]

We are here for you, Namaste. I was born into a very similar family, and would never even consider telling my father how I felt inside. All I would have gotten for it was a belt on the backside.

Sometimes it takes a lifetime to figure things out and make a decision about it. You won't be judged here, just supported. I hope writing your thoughts down helped you feel better.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[Guest frida314]

I appreciate the replies. I may have offended some with my "rant", yet for years I just wanted someone else to know I did not want to be a part of that bigotry. The bonding with the couple of friends I had, and their parents, helped and shaped me. ((Hugs))

[Guest miss kindheart]

Hi Frida,
<<< hug >>>
Welcome to Laura's Playground.
Please feel free to come over and chat sometime.
The Chat room does require another registration that is separate from from your forums one.
Please read the chat room rules before coming in, and expect a short interview with one of the chat room moderators.
One of the things that they will ask you is if you read the rules.
We all look forward to seeing you.
vanna

[gennee]

Welcome to Laura's, Frida. It's god to rant and get things you feel out in the open. It's never too late to live the life that you so desire. Feel free to post more because I would love t know more about you. I'm a late bloomer (discovered I was transgender at fifty six). I'm sixty five now.