Got Into a Discussion with my Grandma

[Guest Dragonseeker]

Last night, I got into a discussion (idk even know how this happened) with my grandma about gay people. She told me they go to hell, people who accept them go to hell and proceeded to read the bible to me to "back up" her claims. I tried to give my opinion but she would be all, "that may be your opinion but I'm reading you the truth." I know better than to talk to her about this stuff cause I know what she's gonna say. It just irritates me. I'm not allowed to come out to her because my mom said it would worry her. (Idk if I want to come out to her now honestly.) I've been in a bad mood all day along with gender dysphoric. I feel stupid for feeling this way though. She's 78 years old and the bible is all she knows. What did I expect? I just wish I could shake this uneasy, upset feeling. Sorry for the long post, I just really needed to rant.

-MJ

[Charlize]

There is a wonderful pryer you may know. The Serenity Prayer...." Grant me the serenity to accept what i cannot change, the strength to change what i can and the wisdom to know the difference"

I have found that i often cannot change the mind or actions of another regardless of how hard i try. All i can do is change my attitude and accept them as they are. It sounds like you know that despite your reasonable(in my opinion) different take on the issue.

Funny but when i have to deal with haters i have to try to apply the same principals that the new pope has brought up. "who am i to cast the first stone"

Try to let it go and love her as she loves you even if she doesn't understand.

Hugs,

Charlize

[Guest Dragonseeker]

Thank you, Charlize you're right. She really can't help the way she is. A lot of people thought the way she does when she was younger and she's from a tiny town in a conservative state. Idk why I let it get to me so easily. It's a flaw of mine that I get offended too easily. I need to just shrug it off and ignore it. Thank you for reciting that prayer, it helped.

-MJ

[Charlize]

I use it all the time myself so i don't strangle the idiots that surround me. After all everybody should be doing things my way. I just want to be queen of the forest until i see what a disaster that would be.

Hugs,

Charlize

[VickySGV]

MJ -- this is a special prayer I wrote over a year ago in regard to some of my family who do not accept me. It along with the serenity prayer are part of my daily life -- Hope it helps you!! http://www.lauras-playground.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=50333

[Guest Dragonseeker]

Thank you so much, Vicky and Charlize. I'm feeling a lot better now. Vicky, I loved that prayer, it was really comforting.

-MJ

[Guest ashleynikole]

Oh MJ, I'm so sorry. It breaks my heart when I hear people talking like that.

Even if there was something wrong with LGBTQIF people (and I KNOW there is not), I can imagine that Jesus would sit down next to them, put his arm around their shoulder and say, "My child, you live in a sinful broken world, but I've resolved that and I still care about you."

I have personally followed Christ for 20 years and I used to think like your grandmother. I used to bully myself. I used to shame myself, especially after I would dress. Ever since I cried out for God to answer me why he made me this way, my life has been transformed. Jesus said "My burden is easy and my yoke is light." I'm here to say that my burden has never been lighter since I agreed to live my life as He created me to be.

I was born and raised in TX so I know exactly what you're going through. My brother's wedding is in 2 weeks and after that event has come and gone, my entire extended family (aunts and uncles and 1 living grandmother) will know about me. I find shedding the masks and lies have helped me become that much more free. I'm free to not care what people think and I'm free to go on living my life being the love of Christ (very important to me) to those who are still in it and those who will come into it in the future.

All that matters is you and Jesus, so do what pleases Him and while the rest may never be perfect or uneventful, He will never leave you or forsake you.

If you ever want to chat, I'm all ears.

God bless

Ashley

[Guest chargrl1]

I have this problem with an aunt of mine, I don't want to go into the specifics of it. If you are truly intersexed, you might try explaining to her that you are the way that you are because of physical reasons, and describe it to her. If you are comfortable doing that. Ttransgender in your mind alone might be a little harder, and I can't offer any thoughts on that.

This is just how I feel and handle things, I've learned for myself that unless someone in your life means a great deal to you, it isn't worth the stress and anger for either one of you to try to convince them if they do not want to see outside of their own blindness. Some people, all you can do is pray that perhaps one day God will show them that they are not aways right about things, and there are some things that they do not understand. An angry arguement often solves nothing, it only creates bitterness on both sides.

What gets me, is that people like that can understand all sorts of birth anomolies, but oh no you HAVE to be born either male or female distinctly, there is NOTHING in between or any different.

God is not going to send you to hell for being what he made you, and I agree with Ashley that all you can do is to be what God has put in your heart to be, and live so that you would not be ashamed if Jesus were to make an appearance.

"Trust in the Lord with all of your heart, and lean not on your own understanding".

[Guest Mickey]

I have this same issue with my parents. Even though I live on my own, in an entirely different state, I still have to deal with this same issue. It is this misunderstanding of what the Bible actually teaches, that has so many LGBTIQ people being alienated from the church. When I finally accepted that I was trans*, I gave up on God, again. Until I learned the truth, for myself, about the Bibles teaching on these issues. I also learned that in the times that the Bible books were written, there was actually 5 or 6, different, recognized and accepted genders.

I know that my parents will never accept this knowledge from me, even if we were to sit and study it in person. My prayer is that they will discover the truth, on their own. I know the Truth as it is in the Bible for myself. I don't claim to know all the Truth, I certainly didn't know this particular Truth until just last year. But, I do know THIS Truth and it is why I can now walk the TS path with the knowledge in my heart that I am accepted by God. And I am no longer bearing false witness about who I am as a person.

[gennee]

It's hard to get people to change their belief system. All you can do is love them

and continue living your life.

[Guest Dragonseeker]

Ahh, I haven't checked this post in awhile haha. Thank you all for your wonderful replies. The support here has helped me tremendously. Thank you so much.

-MJ

[Guest thevaliantx]

I have this issue with my family. On MY side of the family in my marriage, I've been accused by my father and mother of "went off the deep end". My father told me that I was no longer wanted around his workplace, and I haven't been to his workplace since he said that almost six years ago. Neither has my son. If my father is going to treat me that way, then I can not put my son in the line of fire of such bigotry and ignorance. My mother basically told me that if I wanted to live this kind of life that I should have moved to California when I turned 18 (23 years ago), and I know she wouldn't have cared at all.

On my wife's side of the family, there is the uncle who is a retired social worker. In protecting our now seven year old son he tried encouraging me through email to "be your true self". My wife's mother (and sister-in-law) are bible thumpers in the New England area. Believe it or not bible thumpers don't just live in the south. They both said that I was a sinner and that if my wife ever moved back in with me that I "would probably fall back into old patterns....". The other day my wife told me that just before we were making our move back to Kentucky from Massachusetts that her mother asked her "do you think he will return to those ways again?". At the time both my wife and I believed that I had put my desires to be "Kristiy" behind me, that I was a born again Christian, so of course she assured her mother that all was well. At least now I know how phony her mother really is, and at least now I know that anytime I talked about spirituality she was only getting excited because somehow "the Holy Spirit is really working in him...." that I was only giving her peace of mind. My mother-in-law is one of the most sweetest people in public, but one of THE most close-minded persons I've ever known. Don't talk about the Bible with her unless you are wishy washy and that you only talk about stuff that is comfortable. If she starts to argue with you she will try to support her arguments with "you know God loves you..." and "I believe God has told me.....", but oh no, let her know that God told YOU something and she will just give you a sad face and say "I will pray for you.....". Who needs that kind of crap? My sister-in-law professes to be a Christian, but every-single-church they go to she just picks apart the scripture that church is using, and picks apart the church itself. Her husband graduated with a degree in ministry or something like that, but has never been able to find a job with it or even able to build and sustain a small group of men and women who want to get together to talk about the Lord. I--Wonder--Why.

My wife and I took our son to Indian Creek Christian Church (Cynthiana, KY) today to attend the "awards ceremony" for all the players, cheerleaders, staff and parents who participated in the Upwards Basketball program. The whole thing was run poorly. The church apparently hired the services of Remix Education, some Christian-based entertainment service out of Lexington, KY. We could not believe that the "Giggy" mascot was actually facing the crowd with its butt and doing some kind of dirty dance that resembled twerking, and then they were trying to get the kids to do that. The Remix spokesman spent most of the time telling the crowd how "we're all dirty sinners......" and everytime Giggy completed some skit the spokesman would, lamely, attempt to justify the skit with something like "the reason we did this is because God is trying to teach us.....". The only reason my wife kept us there was so that our son could enjoy having his picture taken and receiving an "award" (cheap silver platter-look alike brought to you by Upwards). Afterwards, the icing on the cake occured when the pastor of the church got up there and told the crowd how "next year the Upwards basketball program will be renamed to Indian Creek Basketball League". The pastor explained that the church wants to keep all the money it is earning within the church. Nice bait-and-switch. My wife had been going to Wednesday night services here for awhile before she was able to convince me to come along for one of the service. Much of the service the pastor went on, and on, and on about how he is about to earn his Masters in Divinity degree (or something like that) and that we should all pray for him. When I explained this to my wife she began to see how fake that church is, and she hasn't gone back since.

\When we were at the awards program I told my wife that perhaps the Episcopal church is too accepting of some things, but that we could at least be assured that the church treats it own like family.. Everyone is there to be a part of the body of Christ, and generally everyone in the church is accepting of one another. She then said that we just need to find one of the churches. I told my wife today that I felt like a leper in church, the looks and phony smiles I was getting, and that I just wanted to be accepted for me.