Transitioning Methods?

[Guest Los Drew]

I get the feeling the answer to this question is that everyone's method is different, but here's the question:

1. When I was younger and I wanted to be a girl, I tried forcing myself to be a woman. Basically, it kinda felt like I was trying to warp my pyschology to attain another gender. I'm now approaching 30 and living in Bangkok and what I'm wondering is, was the method I tried when I was younger incorrect and in reality transitioning is just getting in touch with yourself and identifying with the other gender?

2. I'm familar with the idea of performativity, but I haven't actually read any Judith Butler. I've never consciously mimiked a woman, but I do pick up on various different behavoirs for instance I had a co-worker who used to say "chai, chai, chai" to answer various questions and I just started doing it. Is part of transitioning having the bravery to adopt more feminite mannerisms you feel attracted to?

3. Were you sexually active with men before you transitioned? I've tried the gay thing and most dudes don't seem to bite.

[Sally]

I get the feeling the answer to this question is that everyone's method is different, but here's the question:

You will get many different answers.

1. When I was younger and I wanted to be a girl, I tried forcing myself to be a woman. Basically, it kinda felt like I was trying to warp my pyschology to attain another gender. I'm now approaching 30 and living in Bangkok and what I'm wondering is, was the method I tried when I was younger incorrect and in reality transitioning is just getting in touch with yourself and identifying with the other gender?

Yes, in reality transitioning is just getting in touch with yourself and identifying with your true gender.

2. I'm familar with the idea of performativity, but I haven't actually read any Judith Butler. I've never consciously mimiked a woman, but I do pick up on various different behavoirs for instance I had a co-worker who used to say "chai, chai, chai" to answer various questions and I just started doing it. Is part of transitioning having the bravery to adopt more feminite mannerisms you feel attracted to?

You were taught many of the 'mannerisms' of male and corrected if you displayed any of the female, you have to re-socialize yourself as female so much like a young lady you must watch and learn to do things like other women until it all becomes natural, just like when you learned as a boy.

3. Were you sexually active with men before you transitioned? I've tried the gay thing and most dudes don't seem to bite.

Can't help here, I have never been sexually active - and they made a movie about a forty year old virgin - Ha!

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Los Drew]

Awesome. Yeah, that's pretty much what I expected. When I was growing up I remember people making fun of my smile etc. Anyway, thanks for the answer. I'll try and post in the intros forum this week.

-

Andrew

[Guest Sofiadragon]

When it comes to my transition I didn't know anything about it when I was a kid 'cause my parents decided to keep me sheltered from allot of things , I'm sure that you could tell how annoying that was when I actually started to find out about these things when I was younger & realized that these things that were new to me were common place to everyone else my age.

I didn't really feel that I needed to get in touch w/ my true gender when I realized what was going on 'cause I came to the thought that I already & "her" so I don't need to get in touch w/ her I just need to bring her out, now that I think about it some would say that, that would be getting in touch w/ her but personally I don't.

When it comes to mannerisms I am just going w/ what I have always seen as proper.

I have never been w/ a male & I never have any intention of doing so 'cause it is just something that isn't apealing to me 'cause I am a lesbian MTF simple as that, but there are straight MTF's out there, IE they have a desire to be w/ men & not other woman.

[Guest Rayne]

I get the feeling the answer to this question is that everyone's method is different, but here's the question:

1. When I was younger and I wanted to be a girl, I tried forcing myself to be a woman. Basically, it kinda felt like I was trying to warp my pyschology to attain another gender. I'm now approaching 30 and living in Bangkok and what I'm wondering is, was the method I tried when I was younger incorrect and in reality transitioning is just getting in touch with yourself and identifying with the other gender?

2. I'm familar with the idea of performativity, but I haven't actually read any Judith Butler. I've never consciously mimiked a woman, but I do pick up on various different behavoirs for instance I had a co-worker who used to say "chai, chai, chai" to answer various questions and I just started doing it. Is part of transitioning having the bravery to adopt more feminite mannerisms you feel attracted to?

3. Were you sexually active with men before you transitioned? I've tried the gay thing and most dudes don't seem to bite.

I guess if you're method actor those might work....

If you're trying to become someone you're not - it's the wrong move.

This whole journey is about becoming on the outside whom you've always been on the inside. Thus, none of us are forcing the issue.

I took to "Rayne" like a duck to water...I may have needed a bit of help with the hair and makeup, but as far as the mannerisms and other womanly traits, I had no problem.

If you want to become a woman, start by letting the one on the inside come out and then follow her.

[Guest Little Sara]

I have never been w/ a male & I never have any intention of doing so 'cause it is just something that isn't apealing to me 'cause I am a lesbian MTF simple as that, but there are straight MTF's out there, IE they have a desire to be w/ men & not other woman.

I'm "mostly straight". Really I'm pansexual, and in theory, the genital configuration of my partner doesn't matter at all. In practice it does. I have a complex of inferiority towards cissexual women in sexual matters. No good to actually be in a relationship with one and bring it to the fore. So, I prefer cissexual men first and foremost. I'm also a virgin (in all possible ways), but I wouldn't mind having a relationship pre-op. Pre-transition is out of the question, since I've already started, and it didn't happen before. Helped that I had zero libido pre-HRT.