A common tale but true... How do I pick the label(s) for me?

[Guest KellyB]

Hi everyone,

I hope all is well in your worlds. I'm doing pretty well myself.

Here lately I've been doing a lot of thinking. I believe it is human nature to want to categorize and label things and have a way to keep it organized in my own mind so that we can make sense of it all... So, I'm guessing that I've been trying to find out which group or label I should put myself in. I feel like most of my life I have related to being a woman. I've repressed a lot of that over the years out of sheer terror or fear of not being normal etc... I get along with women well, better than most men do, I enjoy things typically thought of as being feminine, from clothing to work to hobbies etc. I enjoy wearing women's clothing as an act of self expression. And when it comes to my relationship with my wife (Who is the reverse end of the spectrum from me as she likes to say "I'm a man in a woman's body.") I often tend to take the role of nurturing, caring, housework, cooking cleaning dishes etc... She likes to say I'm the perfect wife. Which I take great pride in... But I guess there is also that part of me that enjoys being male, its who I've been and who everyone but my wife sees me as... I don't know really. I find the ability to switch back and forth freely to be a quite liberating thing... Please feel free to ask any questions you like, I'm a pretty open book on this topic, I look to some of your knowledge and wisdom to help me find different avenues and thought processes I had not yet explored. What do you all say?

Thank you for your time, Have a wonderful day everyone!

[Guest]

Hi Kelly,

Welcome to Genderlandia - the home of the free - freedom from gender labels! It's my home, as I tried on a few different ones, and none really fit.

You can see a gender therapist who will help you find that label if you wish. But, how about trying on another label, "Happy"? Because, it sounds like your ability to move between genders is a painless thing, giving you happiness in both worlds.

Best of luck to you!

Love, Megan

[Charlize]

For a long time i moved back and forth between genders as you describe. The problem was that i had to hide it from my wife. I would spend much of my day expressing the feminine when away from the house and then be him again upon returning home. I'm glad you are comfortable and as you are with your wife i can understand why. I felt alone and ashamed. For me my choice was simple ....grab a label and live there. He still exists in me but i am quite content and peaceful in my present lifestyle. That is a goal worth working towards. If we find peace with ourselves we can't ask for more. Sounds like you are there. Enjoy.

Hugs,

Charlize

[tracy_j]

Being very technical on my male side I am likely to have issues with labels and when I look closely none fit perfectly (to an engineer who calculates exactly thats not good). On my feminine side I do not even think about it - just relax, be happy and act the stereotype. I suppose it all ends up in the middle but I know which I often prefer!

Just pick something approximate, don't be too fixed on it and live how you feel!

Tracy