I think I'm in the transgender spectrum, but what exactly?

[Guest Krystal_Nessa]

I actually didn't see this section of the forum until this afternoon, lol.

I don't really know what I am, but as far as I know, I'm certain my gender identity is transgendered in some way. At first, in December last year, I just wanted to crossplay (cosplay as characters of the opposite gender). As 2014 came, I no longer wanted to only crossplay in the "otaku" cosplay community, but to crossdress, including in public. I did have mild autogynephilia back then. Then March came in, and I got gender dysphoria. I hated my voice, male appearance, broadening shoulders, and so forth (basically anything relating to masculinity). I think my autogynephilia has also disappeared. Ever since then I felt like I had a girl trapped inside me, wanting to come out and express her femininity. I plan to go on hormone replacement therapy when I'm 18 to see if it is for me, and go from there with voice feminization, and maybe sex reassignment surgery I guess. But I'd really like to know what I really am beforehand, which would be very helpful for me. Can anyone help me please?

Lots of love from me, Nessa <3 xo

[Charlize]

Hi Nessa,

I certainly can't tell you where you sit in the spectrum. I can explain that for me those things changed throughout my life. I have had periods when i did my best to be an alpha male and did loose any desire for femininity. At other times i was dressing in private whenever possible to try to live with the pain i felt. Often our paths are flexible depending on need and perhaps the influence of hormones and society. Needless to say i've finally settled and have found some peace for the time being.

I would recommend a gender therapist to help you with your questions. My GT made a huge difference for me. Try to relax and enjoy life regardless of gender.

Hugs,

Charlize

[Guest Krystal_Nessa]

Thanks for the advice Charlize!

Again, like you've told me before, a therapist would really help me understand myself further.

For one thing I definitely know, I'm transgendered somehow. I prefer femininity now, and I actually cherish my unknown transgenderism. The future holds so much for me to enjoy my life and explore myself further. Can't let time go to waste because every second counts

Lots of love,

~Nessa <3 xo

[Guest LizMarie]

The primary advantage of working with a therapist is that you get an unbiased set of responses. Friends might either be unduly negative or simply agree to be supportive, but a therapist is being paid to be objective and is professionally trained as well. Get to a therapist!

[Carolyn Marie]

You;re correct, Krystal, you do seem to fit within the transgender "spectrum" or umbrella, or whatever term you wish to use. But exactly where you are within that spectrum is not something we can tell you. We simply don't know you well enough. Frankly, even a GT can't (or shouldn't) tell you. The only one who will be able to answer that question with any surety is you. A GT can guide you and help you understand yourself better, and help you interpret what you feel. But you have to know inside yourself who you are, and then decide what to do about it.

Some people do start HRT to see what happens, or how they will feel, as a means of exploration. I am not sure I agree with that approach, but that's just my opinion. But certainly, before changing your body permanently (including your ability to procreate), you should be sure of what you're after and that it is the right path for you.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[Guest Krystal_Nessa]

I don't think I can get a therapist as of now, because my parents will ask me why and I don't want to tell them the reason. Would a school counselor help me instead for the meantime?

Carolyn, I've read from another transsexual/transgender website that there is a way to test whether HRT is a path for you or not. The website states that within 6 months, the effects of HRT are reversible over time. So if you take 6 months of HRT, and love and prefer the way you feel, you're probably on the right track. However, if the change is disturbing, and I don't like how my body is changing, I can stop and at least know HRT isn't for me. After reading that, I'm willing to try HRT as a test to see if it is for me. But certainly I can stress on the fact that I have to get a therapist first before I take any further options for myself.

Thanks for the advice everyone

Lots of love,

~Nessa <3 xo