I Know Who I Am Now

[Guest Midoe]

I know that I have only been a member for two days, but I have read A LOT here. It really helps. But I've had these feelings that I'm not who I am for a LONG time. But anyways I noticed one overlaying theme for people who are confused on what they really want, to try it. To just test out being the role of the opposite gender, so I did.

I started out slow, first I went to Albersons and bought a bra and panties to wear under a “dress like” pajamas. I tried them on and to my surprise there was no arousal at all. I looked at my self in the mirror, I mean really looked at myself and I felt disgusted with myself. I am a VERY hairy person so I just made a snap decision to shave... EVERYWERE!!! I shaved my under arms, chest, legs (which was a lot harder then I thought) and I thinned out my arm hair and shaved my mustache, which Ive had for almost 5 years. ( I dunno I guess I just kept it because I thought it would help me get over any confusion I had) But after I was hair free I tried again and I looked at myself again....

This time I looked at myself and I cried. What I saw made me feel so good about myself. I really looked like a women. I saw the look in my eyes and I could see how I could be truly beautiful. How I could look at myself and feel good about my self, that I could feel right. What hurt was knowing that it will all grow back and then I'll just be the same again.

I told Ashley and Sarah and today we all went to the mall and Sarah gave me the best supportive gift she could have ever done for me. We bought me a wig (in the hair style that I've always wanted) a very beautiful dress and matching nail polish+ removal (I'm not ready to tell the world yet) but when I got home and put It all on I cried once again. I really felt beautiful, I felt like I was almost whole. Lately I've been very undecided if I wanted to live with these feelings or try to change. Well after today, I know what I want to do... I want to try and change. To let the outside reflect what is on the inside. I know that this will not be easy and there is a lot of work to do, but just having this place and its great resources really helps. I guess the first step is to tell my mom, well wish me luck

Ive uploaded a picture. Sorry Im not smileing, I had another to add but i didnt notice the size was too long. Oh and i just notived that my mirror is messy with a ton of smudges... sorry

[Guest ~Brenda~]

I know that I have only been a member for two days, but I have read A LOT here. It really helps. But I've had these feelings that I'm not who I am for a LONG time. But anyways I noticed one overlaying theme for people who are confused on what they really want, to try it. To just test out being the role of the opposite gender, so I did.

I started out slow, first I went to Albersons and bought a bra and panties to wear under a “dress like” pajamas. I tried them on and to my surprise there was no arousal at all. I looked at my self in the mirror, I mean really looked at myself and I felt disgusted with myself. I am a VERY hairy person so I just made a snap decision to shave... EVERYWERE!!! I shaved my under arms, chest, legs (which was a lot harder then I thought) and I thinned out my arm hair and shaved my mustache, which Ive had for almost 5 years. ( I dunno I guess I just kept it because I thought it would help me get over any confusion I had) But after I was hair free I tried again and I looked at myself again....

This time I looked at myself and I cried. What I saw made me feel so good about myself. I really looked like a women. I saw the look in my eyes and I could see how I could be truly beautiful. How I could look at myself and feel good about my self, that I could feel right. What hurt was knowing that it will all grow back and then I'll just be the same again.

I told Ashley and Sarah and today we all went to the mall and Sarah gave me the best supportive gift she could have ever done for me. We bought me a wig (in the hair style that I've always wanted) a very beautiful dress and matching nail polish+ removal (I'm not ready to tell the world yet) but when I got home and put It all on I cried once again. I really felt beautiful, I felt like I was almost whole. Lately I've been very undecided if I wanted to live with these feelings or try to change. Well after today, I know what I want to do... I want to try and change. To let the outside reflect what is on the inside. I know that this will not be easy and there is a lot of work to do, but just having this place and its great resources really helps. I guess the first step is to tell my mom, well wish me luck

Ive uploaded a picture. Sorry Im not smileing, I had another to add but i didnt notice the size was too long. Oh and i just notived that my mirror is messy with a ton of smudges... sorry

Dearest Midoe,

Amen sister!!! Shaving all of your hair off was so right the thing to do! Nothing makes one feel more feminine than shaving off the hair that used to define us as male (legs, arms, underarms, etc). I came to that same revalation years ago! I have undergone the same transformation as you have!! I no longer hide it to anyone (next step, maybe for you). Hairlessness is key to feminity! I am so gald you discovered this on your own. You are on you way! Feel free to contact me if you need someone to talk to and advice. I am much older than you and I have through hell and back. I hope that I can help you.

With much love,

bernie

[Guest michelle.butterfly]

You *are* quite beautiful Midoe. Thanks for your post, it's nice to hear your story of looking in the mirror and seeing yourself.

For me the body hair was not as big of a deal since I have fairly light hair, but it has been nice to play around with removing it anyway. I'm not sure it's totally key to femininity in my case (well, unless you're talking *beard*!), as there are a lot of GG's out there with heavier/darker body hair than I have, but I definitely feel a connection to all those girls who have dealt with removing their body hair for most of their lives.

Keep in mind, tho, that it's not everywhere that girls shave their legs/armpits, etc. That's part of the American Cultural Assumption. (http://www.c2.com/cgi/wiki?AmericanCulturalAssumption -- I take no responsbility for anyone who ends up spending endless hours on the c2 wiki as have I.)

Love,

Michelle

[Guest Midoe]

OK thank you so much, I'm getting ready to tell my mom about it, but I'm nervous, its not like I feel I'm wrong or bad, its just that It would help if she were approving, which I'm sure she might, but I don't know.... Oh and also shes the one with the money that I'd have to use to make what I want a reality.

Anyways... yes I do want people to know who I really am, to take off this mask and truly be myself... just one person at a time though.

[Guest Naomi Stardust]

what a great story!

oh yeah, been there

i remember the first time i shaved everything... it was amazing

i cried too

i like your hair, it's a good style for you

thanks for sharing

[Guest Irielle]

Hi Midoe -

I think you look wonderful. I shave my entire body and I always feel so good when I do. Next week I go in for my first laser treatment on my beard. I don't have much body or facial hair and I am glad for that. I HATE hair unless it's on the top of my head

I'm really glad to have discovered the woman inside of you. Good luck with your mom; I hope it goes well for you.

Iri

[Guest karma]

Wow thats great girl. congrats. Im glad you have found yourself. It took me 21 years, a wife and a son luckly they support me. I hope everything gose great for you hon. And welcome, the people here are so amizing and wounderful. Let it all out girl were all here for you.

Awalys Karma