Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

This is from Loqua, The forums are not working for her


jenerosity

Recommended Posts

Hello mother, I am your child.
I want a talk with you.
Don't make a note, to have it filed.

I remember how we used to talk,
Innocent work gossip,
I try to speak, and yet you balk.

Do you love me? I cannot tell.
Your distance quells my heart,
But I love you, hope you are well.

I know you work, very hard at that.
When will you hear my words?
I'm your daughter, that is a fact.

I understand, you birthed a son,
born healthy, happy, strong.
It should not change, or be undone.

Toy swords and blocks, train tracks and cars,
They held my attention.
Blue stripes on clothes, or even green stars.

You saw a boy, this much I see,
Full of energy and glee.
This was your truth, I can not disagree.

So what is wrong? Would you listen please?
I am still your child.
That is still true, no one will tease.

Outside the church, that's where I park.
Alone i sleep in my car,
Wondering why, crying in dark.

Your words sting me, when we do speak.
Am I unimportant?
I don't see love, it looks so bleak.

Do I matter, or am worth care?
Can I hear 'I love you?'
It hurts so much, so hard to bear.

Those words mean much, but were not said.
It has been seven years.
'I'll never hear,' I really dread.

I think 'what if's, in dark of night,
I think 'would you miss me?'
It feels like not, fills me with fright.

Emails promised, never gotten.
Wondering if you care,
I wait alone, I'm downtrodden.

Will you hear me? I am still here.
I wait on hope's high cloud,
Drifting on down, nothing is clear.

Maybe I'm wrong, if you don't care,
I won't hear 'I love you.'
Listen to me, I give this dare.

I will not stay, hurt me anymore.
Say to me what you mean.
I'll tell you now, not at the door.

I am your child, am your daughter.
I won't let you hurt me,
Not anymore, nor will father.

I'm moving on, without you now,
I wish you would come with.
I cannot wait, no grace endow.

Goodbye mother, I am your child.
You showed how much you care,
Actions speak loud, your words were mild.

And please tell me, if I am wrong.
I do hope I am wrong,
I want to hope, as my heartsong.
Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

A lovely poem which certainly expresses the difficulty we often face as we deal with those we love but who simply cannot accept us.

If this currently expresses your world i hope you hear the words: i love you, soon and often. We all need the love of others.

Hugs,

Charlize

Link to comment
Guest Kalie Aowynn

That was horrible and it was beautiful and so many things in between. I wanted to cry the whole way through it and scream out to them what is wrong with you.

I also saw my life in there. The hurt I felt when i told my mother and when she said nothing.Just sat there and after an hour finally said "I knew there was something different with you . Something wrong in you."

I swore they would never hurt me like that again. And i have been on this journey alone until this last year when i found Laura's-Playground and some of the folks here in Arizona.

That was a wonderful poem hun and I was captivated by it.

Kalie

Link to comment
Guest Loqua

Thank you for your comments. I finally managed to get a forum account setup and not fighting me like it had when I had tried a year ago. I didn't expect it to be nearly as good as people say, but it was nice to hear that it was.

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   4 Members, 0 Anonymous, 141 Guests (See full list)

    • Ashley0616
    • awkward-yet-sweet
    • Eds
    • SamC
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.7k
    • Total Posts
      768.5k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,030
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Togepi
    Newest Member
    Togepi
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. BraxtonLee
      BraxtonLee
      (26 years old)
    2. Bryanna
      Bryanna
      (45 years old)
    3. Jayde1
      Jayde1
    4. Mireya
      Mireya
      (66 years old)
    5. Shellianne_Kay83
      Shellianne_Kay83
      (41 years old)
  • Posts

    • Ashley0616
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      @Willow things went pretty well on Monday. I have been working on the project all week long. I've been hanging out with my husband a lot, since he said that nobody would mind because I'm working on company stuff. My work is going slowly, but it is going. Rather better than I had hoped.   I ended up waking up late this morning. After 18 months of only working on house chores, not really used to doing anything else. Actually a little bit tired
    • Ivy
      Getting back to this… I've seen objections to Critical Race Theory, but simply "critical theory" is a new one on me.  I think we need to be "critical" about a lot of things, or at least examine why we believe what we do about them.  If they stand up under scrutiny, great.  If not perhaps we need to look at something else.   Not all socialists are Soviet Russian Communists. I have read very little Marx myself.  That kind of writing bores me quickly.  But I think there are legitimate concerns about unfettered capitalism.  There are countries that seem to do well on a mixture of capitalism and socialism.  But I am no Tankie.   The Red Scare kinda morphed into the Lavender Scare, and now we have this Transgender Scare.   The thing is, most people are scared to get to know any of the people they are scared of. I'm not scared of evangelical christians.  But I am a little scared of what they seem ready to do to me, because they are scared of me. I am not a scary person - don't want to be.  I'm just an old trans woman trying to mind my own business, and get with what's left of my life. And the 2025 project seems to be designed to make that difficult.
    • FinnyFinsterHH
      Holdin out - lumineers Talkin bout bri - MEgaGoneFree Just like Fire - Pink   genuinly getting major gender envy from lumineers voice
    • Ivy
    • FinnyFinsterHH
      My mom has been more accepting of me being trans lately and even promised i could get a binder if i pay with my own money. The preferred name is still an issue. So far my mom, close friends and brother know i identify as trans but no one else does. I recently told mr grandparents about my partner and explaines the perferred name as a nickname they prefer to have. Luckily everyone who knows is accepting but i feel like i still have so much progress to make. Started getting more uncomfortbale being reffered to as my deadname and she/her in public. My therapist is getting me a trans pin for my birthday next time I see her. I have hop but sometimes I feel like the goal is so far. HRT and top surgery are things i know i want but there has been warnings given to me about the problems that come with it from the ones that have accepted me and I trust most. Mainly from the adults in my life that know, also been getting nervous many people dont see me as a man but i also go to an all girl school. being consistenly reffered to as women has started to get to me and have had urge on several occasions to write perferred name on paper. i dont think pereffered name can go into school system due to being catholic school and for graduation diploma we have to contact the person in charge and ask. I just need some advice on what to do, I am thank ful for the advice everyone had given me, made me feel better about future and hope that I can transition but also worry about familial ties and affect. due to most f them being born in the 80's and 90's and not taking it well originally mostly based on my moms reaction. I love my family alot but how they might react is scaring me. my mom still donesnt want them to know. I know they love me but when I eventually come out and medically trasition in several years hopefully, what will happen? there are little kids in the family and I already dont see them a lot, how would their parents react? what would they say to the kids? I know my aunt would not take it well due to political belief and warnings from cousins. 
    • Ivy
      Maybe.  But they'd probably resent being required to do it.   IDK.  You have to show ID to register already.  And you have to be registered to vote.
    • MaeBe
      Hah! Woke up the Red Scare!   I’ve never read Marx. I tend to believe in the inherent goodness in people. I let their words and deeds change that. Insisting people are immoral/less than/should not exist, stripping them (or keeping them from) human rights, is an a most basic example of true evil. What evils do LGBTQ+ people present simply existing? How does the Right justify their crusade against us? What justifies the manufactured fear and loathing they spout every day about us?
    • KymmieL
      Congrats on the new addition @Ivy I have the opposite I have 4 grandson and a granddaughter. 3 of whom are visiting this weekend. I am feeling better. I think the biggest thing is that I got some much needed sleep.   Well gotta go and speed sometime with the grandsons.   Kymmie
    • Davie
      I saw this concert in which it is said that the famous phrase of Jon Landau "I saw the future of rock and roll and his name is Bruce Springsteen" comes from that night. By the way Bruce opened for Bonnie Raitt that night and she was the better performer . . . just sayin'.  
    • KathyLauren
      Astronomy and astrophotography.  I have done a few public presentations on the subject and could most likely wing it for an hour without putting you to sleep.   On the other hand if you need a sleeping pill, I could also talk for an hour about flying and you'd be out cold. 
    • atlantis63
      ask me this years ago, and I would have said walt disney. fantastic mind, and so creative   since then I've developed quite a  love for the tudors. My choice is henry the 8th
    • Heather Shay
    • April Marie
      Please consider joining us, even if it's just for a few minutes to see what the meetings are like. I've learned so much, had so much fun and gained confidence in myself just by being a part of this amazing group of people. It's a low key, no pressure, non-judgmental chance to just be among people who are supportive, understanding and affirming of each other.    I'm travelling out of state and still planning on dropping in for awhile.    Come see what it's like!! 
    • April Marie
      Thank you, Susan!! It was such an amazing experience for me. I can't remember if I even talked about it on a Zoom meeting.   Here is the link to the post I made about it. And, again, thank you for helping to give me the courage to do it.    
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...