Hello (New with Bio)

[Guest]

Hello to everyone. First i want to say that i am sorry if this bio seems off or lacking as i am recovering from a hysto- so i am a little lala haha.

Anyway my name is Christian or Chris for short. I am 37 and currently living in Seattle Washington. As far as back story,there is WAY to much *bad* that i wish not to write about but i will try to give a *good* sum up

I was raised in a VERY *conservative* family that spent its time working hard to ensure its future in this mind set. (best way to put it) Because of this, i grew up with alot of hatred and self shame for a lot of reasons. mainly failure at being what i was *supposed to be*. Since i could remember, i lived life as different, i was different and this left me being reminded or scolded for not being the norm. I loved doing everything that made me feel like myself but this went against everything that i was taught. After many bad things in life from harsh physical punishment that nearly left me crippled,to being disregarded when it came to sexual forms of abuse (at around 11 or so) i started to develope sever anxiety and rage issues. The reason for this was because i spent my life making others happy, holding everything inside until it started to explode like a volcano and caused everlasting mental damage which required meds to contain. I have since gotten better with this because now i do not hold anything inside and i live my life for ME. (side note: if you are like i used to be,please do NOT hold anything inside. do whats right by you and for you) I grew up in complete ignorance because i was sheltered my entire life. I did not know why i wanted to work out in the gym,getting buff while everyone else was out trying to be pretty. I did not know why i felt comfortable sitting with my legs apart (mind you i was taught NOT to do this but it was natural to me) while everyone else did the opposite. i did not understand why i was attracted to woman while i was taught i was supposed to be attracted to men. It wasnt (yes shockingly) until my mid 20's that i first heard the term *transsexual* and even then in complete innocent ignorance,did not accept it but also kept everything else about me, hidden deep inside. I played a role that i knew nothing of and it destroyed my life. Confused as to why i had NO peace at all, if everything i was taught was true- i backed into a corner and decayed. I had lost two children by this time, an entire life layed in ashes and the consumptions that i had done for years by now, destroyed my body and mind. I was thee true definition of *wasted space* If there was anyone in this world who really deserved suicide,it was me. But something left me alive and made me push on- as if it knew something i did not. Many times i tried and i woke up or found that it was to no success. By the time i reached my 30's, with much more wisdom now, long since away from my family and much more love for many different people, i found a video that would change everything for me. It spoke of anything and everything regarding being transgender and i watched it intently for answers. As if it hit everything in my life spot on, i found myself obsessed and searching for more and more. The more i found, the more peace i found. for once in my life, i was no longer lost,depressed,i gained confidence for once and now had a place in the world. At that moment, i threw everything i owned away, i transitioned that very moment and havent looked back and never will. My family has long since disowned me but i am very happy without them. My hysto was just another huge step in the right direction and soon,many others will follow. Love me but love me for me or save your pity for another.< my saying.

[Guest NatashaJade]

Hi Chris,

Thank you for sharing your story with us and welcome to Laura's. We are glad to have you with us.

Cheers!

Tasha

[MaryEllen]

Hello Chris,

Welcome to Laura's Playground. Thank you for sharing your story with us.

MaryEllen

[Cyndee]

Hi Chris and welcome to the playground. I hope you find the resources here useful. Post away as the mood strikes ya.

Hmm Bremerton I noticed in your profile, was just across the bay from you in Port Orchard on the evening of the 4th, playing in a band before the fireworks there, very nice, with ancient warships in the backdrop.....

Peace to you

Cyndi -

[tracy_j]

Hi Chris

Hello and welcome

Tracy x

[Guest ChrisHughes]

Thank you all for the welcome

Yes i am in bremerton. awesome that you were cross the river- i personally didnt celebrate the 4th but thats only because i have a very low social life at the moment lol cheers to that changing soon.

[Guest Cyd]

Welcome, Chris! Thank you for sharing your story and your strength.

Cyd

[Guest Faith gibson]

Hi Chris,

Welcome and all the best to you. Thanks for sharing.

Faith

[Guest ChrisHughes]

Thank you look forward to sharing more. Very nice of you all.

[Guest miss kindheart]

Hi Chris,
<<< hug >>>
Welcome to Laura's Playground.
Please feel free to come over and chat sometime.
The Chat room does require another registration that is separate from from your forums one.
Please read the chat room rules before coming in, and expect a short interview with one of the chat room moderators.
One of the things that they will ask you is if you read the rules.
We all look forward to seeing you.
vanna

[Charlize]

Welcome dear. Hope to see you around the playground. On the 6th Saturday of any month cookies are served behind the swing set.

Hugs,

Charlize

[gennee]

Welcome to Laura's, Chris. I'm happy that you discovered who you are and where you fit in.

[Guest ChrisHughes]

Thank you all again very nice to meet you. Such a warm welcome.

[Guest Jane59]

hello my name is Jane I have been a transgender woman from June 1974 at the age of 14 and I have been rape by cis woman and gang rape by men all in total 3 times in my life the last one I was beating up by three men with baseball bats ( I had 19 broken bones and all my teeth kick in) I have been married to a cis female and when she found out that I was a transgender woman she call the cops on me and had a court order telling me to stay away from the house for a year and I only can take what I can carry i was unable to get to my car and she took all the money out of the bank that we had a joint checking accont ( about $45,00) and i only had a back pack to carry and i was in my last two weeks of my last year of my Masters deg in software eng and i was having finals that week to so i took only my books but i was in a little black dress with black pumps on and had to walk 5 miles to the nearest bus stop and then try to find a place to stay at ( my ex wife called my family and all my so called friends and my classmates to and my school and try to get me fire at my job by telling my boss she i found out is a lesbian ) so i was force to stay at a homeless men's shelter and i was almost rape there in the first five hours so i left and sleep in a store window the next night when i went to work my boss told me here is the deal no men's clothes at all and no acting like a man at all that was May 5, 2005 on Oct 13 2005 Friday at 11:59 am i became a divorce transgender per op woman