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Guest Whitewolf011

By Guest Whitewolf011,
in What Am I? I'm Not Sure.

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Guest Whitewolf011

Guest Whitewolf011

Posted
Posted

Hi im new here and I need answers or at least help to what I am. I had a small but clear signs I was transgender but ignored them and didn't know what they meant when I was kid and know thoose signs have upgraded to a lvl where I have so many signs pointing me to that of me suppose to being a female and I want to make sure i have answers so I know what I am. One of the big signs are ghost speaking to me and i am psychic just pointing that out there triyng to say what I am this all started when I was 13 it felt like someone was in my head trying to tell me all this after awhile I stoped fighting it. Next day it was calm no wired feeling in my head but it came back idk if it was me or them but I sometimes saw myself as a girl and I would try ignore it and other times it would try to make me think I should be one and make me wander if it was me cause I never had a clear understanding of who I am I was always pretending to be different cause of my dad very strict person and people at school would judge me for being me cause they see mas retarded and all. Up till know all that has changed I had emmit to myself I would look into it see if it was who I was meant to be and I one thing that did strike me I never was me and I felt lost unsure of who I am as a person and I know wander if being a girl is who I was meant to be cause there where so many things trying to tell me that and to be truthful I feel bored with myself I don't see myself as who I am I feel empty and no joy. I will be living with my mom soon my dad didn't do a lot of nice things that me and my mom had enough of so me and her both agree we are not living in a bad life no more. once im out here in Colorado I can be me and independent but I want to know I am and who I am meant to be so I come here for help and I thank you for whoever reads this and does there best to help me thank you all and god bless everyone.

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Guest sweetcharlene41

Guest sweetcharlene41

Posted
Posted

Hi im new here and I need answers or at least help to what I am. I had a small but clear signs I was transgender but ignored them and didn't know what they meant when I was kid and know thoose signs have upgraded to a lvl where I have so many signs pointing me to that of me suppose to being a female and I want to make sure i have answers so I know what I am. One of the big signs are ghost speaking to me and i am psychic just pointing that out there triyng to say what I am this all started when I was 13 it felt like someone was in my head trying to tell me all this after awhile I stoped fighting it. Next day it was calm no wired feeling in my head but it came back idk if it was me or them but I sometimes saw myself as a girl and I would try ignore it and other times it would try to make me think I should be one and make me wander if it was me cause I never had a clear understanding of who I am I was always pretending to be different cause of my dad very strict person and people at school would judge me for being me cause they see mas retarded and all. Up till know all that has changed I had emmit to myself I would look into it see if it was who I was meant to be and I one thing that did strike me I never was me and I felt lost unsure of who I am as a person and I know wander if being a girl is who I was meant to be cause there where so many things trying to tell me that and to be truthful I feel bored with myself I don't see myself as who I am I feel empty and no joy. I will be living with my mom soon my dad didn't do a lot of nice things that me and my mom had enough of so me and her both agree we are not living in a bad life no more. once im out here in Colorado I can be me and independent but I want to know I am and who I am meant to be so I come here for help and I thank you for whoever reads this and does there best to help me thank you all and god bless everyone.

I'm going to respond to your plight, and remember i'm not a doctor, i can only give you my experiences and hope it helps. When I was your age,m i experienced the same urge's as you are, i tried to suppress them to no avail. my mom took me to a psychiatrist, and of course i wouldn't talk, so that didn't help. I learned to live with them. Know i'm 73 and i simply love dressing as a women, i'm what they call a closet cross dresser, but i love it remember, your are still a person, so if you want to dress as a girl, do so, remember you still have to live with your mom, so make sure she understand's what going on. So be all that you can be, but remember be true to yourself, hope this helps, good luck.

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Guest Whitewolf011

Guest Whitewolf011

Posted
Posted

Im trying to find what I am im just lost on what to do. I thank you very much for the advice im just hoping someone understands what the heck is going on with me or what I am.

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MaryEllen Gold Member

MaryEllen

Posted
  • Root Admin
Posted

I'm also sorry if im asking to much

Not at all. Have you considered counseling with a gender therapist. I think that would be a good start for you.

MaryEllen :)

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MaryEllen Gold Member

MaryEllen

Posted
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Posted

Not knowing your mom, I wouldn't care to guess what she'd say. What do you think she would say? Would she let you see a therapist for depression? If you could get to see any therapist, it would be a big help. If this therapist wasn't knowledgeable on transgender issues perhaps he or she could direct you to one who is. A competent therapist can help you with your confusion.

MaryEllen

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MaryEllen Gold Member

MaryEllen

Posted
  • Root Admin
Posted

What kind of person is your mom? Is she a narrow minded religious type? Has she ever spoken negatively or positively about the LGBT community? Is there anyone you could talk to? A school counselor or pastor?

MaryEllen

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Guest Whitewolf011

Guest Whitewolf011

Posted
Posted

My mom is a very nice person me and her have a strong relationship and we always make each other laugh. She been fighting for me so I don't have to put up with my dad anymore since me and her had enough of him and is cruelty. We are overall are a team been me and my mom ever since I was born we both do a lot fun stuff we make each other laugha lot by goofing around. So I can tell she is very nice but stressed out Cause of my dad and how he keeps fighting and not cooperating with the courts on letting me live here.

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Guest Whitewolf011

Guest Whitewolf011

Posted
Posted

Plus is 14 a good age to start. My puperoty kicked in at a 11 though my skin is still very soft and my eyes look very girly and I mean girly.

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Guest Whitewolf011

Guest Whitewolf011

Posted
Posted

And if I do decide to transition Is 14 a good age to start? Puperoty hit when I was 11 but I still retain very soft skin and very girly looking eyes. But im jw cause I read 12 and 13 where the best of ages.

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MaryEllen Gold Member

MaryEllen

Posted
  • Root Admin
Posted

Ok, so your mom and you have a good relationship. Can you talk to her about anything that bothers you other than these transgender feelings? Does she listen and offer advice or does she brush you off? Does she tell you she loves you? Do you think her love is unconditional. Do you think that she would hate you if you confessed to being transgender. Think about these things for awhile and try to come up with answers.

This is where a therapist would be most helpful. If you were to be diagnosed with GID it's possible that you could be prescribed T-blockers to stop your puberty from progressing any further. However this would have to be done with your mother's full knowledge and permission.

It would be very helpful if your mom could be educated as to what GID actually is. Below is a link to the WPATH SOC. It's a long read but it covers the subject of being transgender very thoroughly. If your mom could be made to understand what you're going through, I think she would be willing to help you.

http://www.wpath.org/uploaded_files/140/files/IJT%20SOC,%20V7.pdf

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Guest Whitewolf011

Guest Whitewolf011

Posted
Posted

Yes she said i am her my number priority and I been talking to her about problems with my dad and been there to help me. I thank you for this new info you have provided me with and I we'll keep you informed of what happenscause I may speak to her today about the matter.

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Guest Whitewolf011

Guest Whitewolf011

Posted
Posted

You are I have GID matching everything up and reading more it all makes sense know I thank you so much I had no idea this was a thing till know.

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MaryEllen Gold Member

MaryEllen

Posted
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You're welcome, hon. Just know that you're not alone in this. There are many young people such as yourself who are in this same position. If your mom is willing, try to get into therapy with a gender therapist. Below is a list of available therapists. Hopefully, there will be one near you.

http://www.lauras-playground.com/gender_therapists/

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Guest Whitewolf011

Guest Whitewolf011

Posted
Posted

I well if hopefully keep a progress track of what well happen. I think my case of gid was hidden but something I think was trying to tell all this time cause I never noticed it. I ws so confusee I got to thank you and one the ghost that got me searching and her name was Mary. My dad's house was haunted it seems wired stuff happend in that house. one time saw a female ghost standing in front of my bed I wander if that was Mary Cause she was very freindly,loving and kind she liked to speak to me and watch over me I thought she left but it seems she never did.

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MaryEllen Gold Member

MaryEllen

Posted
  • Root Admin
Posted

I think it's great that you have a guardian angel watching over you. :)

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Guest Whitewolf011

Guest Whitewolf011

Posted
Posted

I agree I thank Mary for all the times she was there for me I know when she is around when I use my device to talk to ghost and she would sometimes say I love u

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MaryEllen Gold Member

MaryEllen

Posted
  • Root Admin
Posted

Can you get her to read that WPATH SOC link I sent you? Don't give up. Be persistent but by the same token don't get in her face about it. Once she see's you're serious, I think she'll come around. She's got to be made aware that this isn't a phase or something you've chosen to do. See if you can get her to read this.

http://ai.eecs.umich.edu/people/conway/TS/Evelyn/Mom_I_need_to_be_a_girl.pdf

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Guest Whitewolf011

Guest Whitewolf011

Posted
Posted

This is what happen she assumed dad was messing with my head or I been kn the tablet to much so she took it and didn't give it back till know. I could not sleep last night every time i was so bugged cause she just shut me down she ran to my room and just well said I didn't have it and was blaming my dad for messing up my head I showed her article a on GID but that changed nothing she didn't even read the whole thing. I feel misunderstood by everyone know cause know one understands who I am but I see as I have a blank book I can rewrite by staring to be. But I can only dream im afraid to say anything know and idk what to do.

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Guest Whitewolf011

Guest Whitewolf011

Posted
Posted

Plus I belive I have gid I mean my eyes, used to say like alot in each sentence, had done stuff before, and just weired feelings. But im so confused if this is me why did I ever notice up till know. I know I been pretending to be a different person but it's like ugh idk this has all been very stressful and been making me think a lot.

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