aloha. i'm steph

[Guest]

my name is stephanie butler, i am 45 years old and i am a transwoman. i live in san francisco. my doctor just approved me for hormonal therapy. my life has been quite dismal. full-blown AIDS and coinfected with hep c. i also have avascular necrosis-- which kills the hip and shoulder joints. in fact i've lived at laguna honda hospital for the last two years. i will be leaving soon and will begin my transition at a three month drug rehab program. i knew i was different early on-- around 5 or 6. i would get caught wearing my mom's things. even though i was called a 'sweetheart' while playing t-ball( baseball for little boys) i also played with the girls-- jacks, tag, jump rope, hopscotch. with my cousins i played barbie and dress up. around age thirteen, i was watching daytime and low and behold if jerry springer didn't have a beautiful transwowman saying she had been born a boy but had under gone something called a 'sex change' and became a woman. i floored with tears streaming down my face. i began praying on an almost nightly basis to god to make me a girl while i slept and when i woke up i would be a girl, with a girl's room, living as a girl and no one remembering me as a boy. oh, the niavete of youth. well that's it for now. gotta get some beauty sleep. good night and best wishes to all, steph

[KathrynJulia]

Hi Steph

Welcome to Laura's. I too was making those same prayers to wake up a girl in First and Second grade. Back then we were taught to believe in miracles. Never did I believe that God expected me to do all the heavy lifting by myself. I just didn't know that my miracle was going to take 54 years to be realized. That is a little excessive it seems to me to be realized. But for those of us praying for a miracle to pop up, we're also left the costs of making a miracle happen. I thinks the nuns in Catholic Grade School deliberately forgot to mention that miracles in addition to doing all the heavy lifting, the requestor sometimes is left a little impoverished, or at least that's what I experienced.

Steph:

I sincerely pray that your miracle happens sooner than mine. But that your miracle be every bit as wonderful as mine. While I'm at it, thank you for joining our community. I'm Kathy and welcome home

[Charlize]

Welcome Steph. You do sound like you've been through the ringer but you sound like you've got a positive attitude and are doing the next right thing. Congratulations on the HRT for those of us whose path takes us there it feels so right. I found some peace with myself and the world which was not necessarily what i expected. Hopefully you will share your journey with us. This is a good place to vent and support others as they vent as well. Glad you found us.

Hugs,

Charlize

[gennee]

Hi Stephanie and welcome to Laura's. Congratulations on beginning HRT. I pray that the other things in your life will be resolved. Take it a day at a time. Keep a positive attitude. Cherish the positive moments that you experience.

[Guest]

hi ya'll!!! what heart-felt words from my t-sisters. thanks so much. i will continue to update ya'll as i progress toward a more perfect union... bye, now, steph

[Guest miss kindheart]

Hi Stephanie ,
<<< hug >>>
Welcome to Laura's Playground.
Please feel free to come over and chat sometime.
The Chat room does require another registration that is separate from from your forums one.
Please read the chat room rules before coming in, and expect a short interview with one of the chat room moderators.
One of the things that they will ask you is if you read the rules.
We all look forward to seeing you.
vanna

[Carolyn Marie]

Welcome to the Playground, Stephanie. I do hope that your health will turn for the better, and that HRT will make you feel better about yourself. You are an incredibly strong woman to have gotten this far in life with a good attitude. I wish you all the best.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[Guest Jamie61]

Hi Stephanie! Welcome to LP, I know you will find some great support here. Keep us posted on your HRT and a more perfect union.

Hugs!

Jamie