Went to a trans-accepting church today

[Guest Annutty]

Like the title says, I went to a church that said they were 100% accepting of LBGT people. It went well overall, but I guess I was a little disappointed in the end. I got there 5 minutes late, didn't know what to do, wasn't used to the style of church they were doing ("high church"- lots of liturgy and robes and official proceedings), and I couldn't summon up my voice above a whisper, despite practicing and practicing and practicing for the last few weeks and months >.>.... (so I just ended up nodding and smiling and hoping nobody would talk to me- even though I wanted desperately to make a friend or something)

That being said, there was absolutely nobody that was mean or rude to me. The pastor was super nice and friendly (and a woman too!), and there was another couple people that greeted me and asked my name or just welcomed me very warmly. I feel like I got some weird looks, but not necessarily out of hatred or fear or anything but just out of "wow....we got one of those trans people to come to our church!"...but maybe it was just me projecting my own insecurities (of which I have MANY! lol). (I saw one other person that I thought might have been trans too but s/he wasn't a MTF so I don't really know).

I was seated in the very back, because I came in late, so naturally, I was one of the first to have to leave via the traditional "shake the hand of the pastor and chat for a brief 10 seconds" ritual...which is not bad in itself, but I was super embarrassed because she asked me why I came and how I heard about them and said she wanted to talk to me later about why I chose to try going to church or something (also my voice was horrible and barely a whisper because I was so nervous and scared even though it was completely obvious I was trans...)...but all the while I could just feel the entire rest of the congregation looking at me and being like "OMG HURRY UP" >.<....So I tried to get out of there as fast as possible. Then I waited around in the lobby-ish area for like 5 minutes, but nobody came to talk to me so I just left.

All in all, it's not really what I expected, but it wasn't downright bad. I guess I wish someone would have come up to me to try and talk after the service was over, though. (oh yeah I would have stayed to talk to the pastor more but they said there was some sort of training for ushers directly after church and it would take like an hour so I was like "ooook not sticking around and waiting for that to be over")

So if anyone from that church (I'm not actually going to say the name of the church here) is reading this, don't feel bad, I'm prolly going to come back in a month when i get back into town off of work ^^

[Charlize]

I'm certainly glad you went to the service and while it may not have been ideal this Sunday i'm sure from what you wrote that you have found a place where your voice and your self can be comfortable. It's good your going back. Give it some time. Being yourself in a social situation is simply wonderful.

Hugs,

Charlize

[VickySGV]

If it was robes and vestments, and a woman "priest" I can pretty well guess which flavor of church it was. I do feel bad though because while the service can be pretty formal, someone should have been leaning over the pew behind you as helping you get the hang of it. It was not your Trans* status that changed anything, and the priest is on the lookout to prevent that sort of thing, but OK I am on the Vestry of my parish, and even we have to get on people a bit too. Call the priest ahead of time, and come out, because she won't be able to tell anyone else without your permission.

[Michelle 2010]

For the first time in my life, I have been attending church as part of my coming out. In 2010 I started attending Unity, which I found trans friendly and generally progressive. Women were very inclusive and I made many friends. Straight guys didn't know what to think but were accepting. This year I started attending Metropolitan Community Church with my partner. It is 90 % Lgbt and very accepting. I hope you claim your place in your church and become just another member of the congregation. I found people will treat you like you belong there if you act like you belong there. They may be curious and want to ask questions, but if they are respectful, why not educate them? Further, if you are friendly in the fellowship portion, likely they will respond accordingly.

If not, the problem isn't you, it's them. I would then find a more trans friendly church and enjoy the experience of worship and fellowship with open accepting people who reflect the attitude of a loving all embracing god ... The world is changing in our lifetime and there is no reason to subject yourself to negativity in church, right? Open up to folks and see what happens. Don't worry about the voice. If you are clocked as trans, so what? We are all gods creatures. Be the person god made you and be respected in church or find one that manifests gods grace in the way that would please Him/Her...

Hugs

Michelle

[gennee]

Sounds like your experience wasn't so bad. Maybe when you go the next some people will speak with you. Maybe it was the first time a trans person has entered their doors, you never know.