My mom doesn't like any of my name suggestions

[Guest Ashlyn M]

The first name I came up with was Allison and she was okay with it but then other family members had different things to say (not necessarily bad). Then I eventually went with Danielle which she really liked but I started to not like it too much. I think it's because every time I would say it, it sounded like I was saying Daniel. So then I sent her a text with a bunch of different names and she took one of my suggestions and one of her own suggestions which were Zoey (one of mine) and Taylor (hers). I asked her which one she preferred and she said Taylor so I went with that one for a while. But as usual, I stopped liking it. This time I think it was because it was a unisex name. Then Cristina or Kristen. She said Cristina was okay but we would probably look for a different one together. She didn't acknowledge Kristen though. Finally, today I asked her about the name Claire, which I really love now. I even started using it with different titles for example "Aunt Claire" and I really, really loved the sound of that. I currently have a niece so that's why I thought of Aunt Claire. But, when I asked her if she liked it she said she didn't like it but she didn't hate it either. She never takes my suggestions. And I usually end up not liking hers too much. What should I do? I've been stuck on finding a name for close to a year.

[Carolyn Marie]

Hon, a name is an extremely personal thing, and choosing one is very important. You are likely going to live with it for the rest of your life. It will define you to many people. So it has to be a name you love, and name that fits you, and a name you want. If you choose a name based on what someone else likes, you're going to regret it.

Sure, get input, but ultimately, it has to be your decision, and no one elses. You can try one out here and see if you like it. Just find a screen name that isn't being used, and then ask me or MaryEllen to change it. Then try it on for a few weeks and see if it fits.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie.

[Guest Berry Picker]

My mom doesn't like my choice of Kathleen (she wanted Sandra)same with most of my immediate family. Although my friends like it and so do I. Ultimately choose what suits you luckily it seems that whatever name you choose won't make your family overly upset.

[Guest]

Sounds like you're letting people influence your choice alittle too much. I personally think names are sacred, so pick the name you want/the one feels yours.

And trust me, most EVERYONE hates my name. Do I care? Not a single bit. Because I chose it and it felt so natural.

So maybe just make a list, sit alone in your room listening to some music and see what really sticks to you. Just relax and your name may just pop out at you. ^^

[Guest Kaylee]

Hi Claire,

I'm with Carolyn on this. While it may be nice to sit and figure something out with someone you love, ultimately... you are the one that has to live with it.

When I chose my name, it was something I always thought was pretty. Then on thinking further, there was a connection, making it that much more important.

I know my Mother doesn't really like it (perhaps too close to my sisters name) but meaning something to me, that's what it's going to be.

Chose my Mom's Maiden name though.

Choose what suits you best, Mom will love you just the same

Good luck dear.

Kaylee

[Guest LizMarie]

I agree with Carolyn. Further, your mother may be dragging her feet on purpose. I'm not saying she is, just that she might be.

You need to resolve your name for yourself. Having your mother help would be nice but certainly is not necessary.

[Guest Ashlyn M]

I guess so. It just makes me feel kinda bad that she pretty much turns my suggestions down. I'll stick with this one though and see how it goes. Claire was actually the middle name to my first suggestion.

[Guest Elizabeth2014]

Hi Claire,

I agree with the other girls and particularly Rashaad. The name you choose is one that you should feel is your own. We are lucky that we have the opportunity to do so. I chose Elizabeth because I love it so much. My mum hates it because her sister has the same name, but then I have pointed out that my sister is Jane and my mum's other sister is Jane too. Perhaps your mum is being unfair on you, just as my mum is to me.

We are a blessed minority, we have the fortune to experience life in both genders, so embrace that and be strong.

Elizabeth x

[Guest Ashlyn M]

Hi Claire,

I agree with the other girls and particularly Rashaad. The name you choose is one that you should feel is your own. We are lucky that we have the opportunity to do so. I chose Elizabeth because I love it so much. My mum hates it because her sister has the same name, but then I have pointed out that my sister is Jane and my mum's other sister is Jane too. Perhaps your mum is being unfair on you, just as my mum is to me.

We are a blessed minority, we have the fortune to experience life in both genders, so embrace that and be strong.

Elizabeth x

I don't consider that a fortune. It feels like some sort of curse. Having your body change in ways you don't want it to especially if you're wanting to change in other ways as it's happening if that makes sense.

[Charlize]

It may feel like a curse now but with time you may grow to accept and actually enjoy being a bit different but yourself above all.

I think Claire is a fine name. Don't expect your mom to love it just as i'm sure she would prefer that you not be trans. I'm not suppressed she is reluctant.

Hugs,

Charlize

[Guest Ashlyn M]

It may feel like a curse now but with time you may grow to accept and actually enjoy being a bit different but yourself above all.

I think Claire is a fine name. Don't expect your mom to love it just as i'm sure she would prefer that you not be trans. I'm not suppressed she is reluctant.

Hugs,

Charlize

Maybe. I do like being different ways such as being half Canadian, having slight ADHD, being a little bit OCD, but I don't really think I like being different in this category. I mean, I want to be a girl more than anything but even when I am a lot of things will keep me from experiencing all of it.

[Guest Elizabeth2014]

I'm sorry if I offended you Claire. It's taken me 41 years to get over what other people think. I do regret that, it's something I can't change, but that is why I think I am lucky in knowing and appreciating both sides of life.

[Guest LizMarie]

It may feel like a curse now but with time you may grow to accept and actually enjoy being a bit different but yourself above all.

I think Claire is a fine name. Don't expect your mom to love it just as i'm sure she would prefer that you not be trans. I'm not suppressed she is reluctant.

Hugs,

Charlize

Maybe. I do like being different ways such as being half Canadian, having slight ADHD, being a little bit OCD, but I don't really think I like being different in this category. I mean, I want to be a girl more than anything but even when I am a lot of things will keep me from experiencing all of it.

Claire, part of me occasionally mourns or regrets things. I put those behind me as soon as I can but they still pop up. I will never be a young bride walking to the altar. I will never conceive a child nor carry one. I am too old to be a mother.

So I have to accept these things as something that I cannot change. I would if I could, but I can't. However, there are things that I can change and that I am changing and will continue to change. I'll never achieve every single dream I've had in my life, but if I can achieve some of those dreams, it will be enough.