Not sure what to do with the information given..?

[Guest thekorestar]

So I have been thinking for awhile now about the possibilities of having some degree of gender dysphoria. I already came to the fact that I do not like my body. The thoughts of cross-dressing have crossed my mind, but I never did so because of 1. my mother would question me to death, 2. I don't have close guy friends that would randomly lend me clothes. Even the thoughts of becoming a male came across me. I'm just not sure how to go about.. hell I don't even know what I'm talking about. But I'll say this much; I might only be a teen but when I feel something is off, it normally is. Weather it be my gender, orientation or simple things like daily objects.

In short; I just don't know what to do now. I really don't wanna go through any type of surgery till I'm 100% sure of what I am. I can't afford professional help. And I'm scared to know what my family might think if I ever did come out and say that I'm trans or thinking about it. Sorry if this post is a bit scrambled, I might do something about it later when I think a bit more clearly.

[Carolyn Marie]

Welcome to the Playground, hon. Yes, it can be very confusing, what to think, what to feel, and what to do about any of it. We've all been where you are. I think, to start out, the best thing is to read everything you can get your hands on. Threads in this and our other forums, discussion with others in Chat, reading some of the books you will find mentioned in the Books sub-forum (under Entertainment), and stuff you can download from the Human Rights Campaign and PFLAG. it will all help, I promise you.

I understand the limitations of doing something active as a teen. But teens have a lot of leeway with things like dress and hair and behavior. Unless yours is a very rigid household, why don't you try doing a more androgynous look, and see how far you can push it. Cut your hair a little, or a lot. Wear less makeup, or none. It might not be totally satisfactory, but it will get you closer to your goal. Then see how you feel about it.

There is plenty of time to figure things out. In the meantime, post your questions, and perhaps post an introduction in the Intro Forum. I do ask our new members to please read the site Terms and Conditions (da Rules), as they help us keep the site safe. You'll find a link to them at the lower right corner of every page. Thanks

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[Guest Carla_Davis]

Hi,

Welcome to Laura’s Playground.

It is not unusual for youth to question their gender identity and/or their sexual orientation.

You sound like a young youth that is supported by your parents.

Carloyn Marie has given you some helpful information.

“I'm scared to know what my family might think if I ever did come out and say that I'm trans or thinking about it.” I fully agree with you, and you should be concerned.

Coming out to your parents can go extremely well, or extremely bad.

If you decide to take advantage of some of the information that Carolyn Marie listed, and get a negative response from your parents, do not keep pushing. Give them time to adjust.

Often youth are so eager to be their True-Self in regards to their parents,and many times they become disowned and/or homeless, and have to resort to the Sex, and/or the Drug Trade to survive.

We would not want to see this happen to you, your safety is our concern

You may want to start by reading this:

Resources for Youth

http://www.imatyfa.org/resources/youth-resources/

Please also read at the bottom of the page “Learn more about coming out.”

Also, be aware that your family knew you as a female for all of these years, and wanting to transition to a male will often be a shock for them, and may often respond negatively, NOT, because they do not love you, but instead because of their lack of information about transgender youth.

This may also be helpful for you:

I Think I Might Be Transgender, Now What do I Do? (PDF)

http://www.advocatesforyouth.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=731&Itemid=177http://abcnews.go.com/2020/Story?id=3088298&page=1#.Ud8yuVXD_IU

PFLAG (Be Yourself-Questions and Answers for Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Youth)

https://docs.google.com/a/pflag.org/file/d/0Bz_Rb69kZTYDbTl2dmhWTFc4MGc/preview

A fresh new update to one of PFLAG's most popular publications! Revised in 2014, this publication offers a supportive and understanding approach to today's most common questions and concerns from youth regarding sexual orientation, gender identity, and gender expression. With youth coming out--and disclosing--at younger and younger ages, BE YOURSELF has never been more important. The publication also includes an up-to-date list of resources, including hotline numbers, other organizations, and more.

Starting on page 10, is some good information about Coming-Out, and starting on page 13, is some good information about Gender Identity.

I hope this information is helpful for you.

Please keep posting any questions that you may have, and also about your progress.

Hugs,

Carla

[Guest Carla_Davis]

Hi thekorestar,

During some of your free time, I would highly recommend that you read this Workbook.

It offers some very helpful advice about Coming-Out to Family and Friends.

It lists some pitfalls, and some good ways to remedy them

Coming Out as a Transgender Person: A Workbook (Highly Recommended)

http://www.mccchurch.org/download/transgenderministries/transformativecp/Resource%20-%20Coming%20Out%20Trans%20Workbook.pdf

If you need any help with some of the sections, please post any of your questions here.

We will try our best to assist you.

Hugs,

Carla

[Charlize]

Welcome to Laura's. Spend some time here and it may help you find a path to explore. As Carolyn Marie said there is no rush. Our gender and how we express it is more a process than a definition. Relax, read and explore. We are here to offer support as we can.

Hugs,

Charlize