Trying to let things work; Red Tape

[Guest Mickey]

I've told this story else where but I'll hit the high points to get to my question.

I asked my Endo what I'd need to do so I could get a bilateral Orchiectomy. Ask my primary care Dr. was his answer. I saw my primary doc last Monday and asked him. He said he wanted to call my Endo and talk to him, and I would need to get a letter from my gender therapist. When he had this info he could talk with my insurance and convince them that this is medically necessary for me. When he's done that he can get me the refferal to the surgeon. Last Tuesday I talked with my gender therapist at our regularly scheduled session. At the end she had me sign a release form so she could write the letter and send it to my Dr. So everything is in in the process of getting done so I can get the Orchi. One day, hopefully soon, I will be able to be free of this burden. Oh happy day right.

My question, how do you wait and let the process work itself out? How long do I wait before I start calling to see what's going on? I know I've done what I can do. Now I just don't know how to wait. I mean, I have been waiting all my life, I just didn't know it until now. This kind of reminds me of when I was trying to get HRT started, only more intense. I want this NOW. And I don't know how to deal with having to wait on the red tape process.

Mickey

just a girl trying to be patient

[Carolyn Marie]

How do you wait? You just do, because there is no choice but to. How long do you wait? Whatever seems a reasonable time. Given the time of year, I would give even your G.T. until a week or two after the holidays. That's the easy part, since you have an ongoing relationship with her. The longer wait is the one involving the insurance company, and any HMO or clinical group bureaucracy. That can take a while. My HMO took about two months to approve the referral, and another month to schedule an appointment with the urologist.

If this is the first case of this kind for your HMO or clinic, they may wrestle with it a little longer than they normally would. Then the question becomes, is the usual urologist they refer cases to familiar with dealing with a trans person? It shouldn't matter a great deal, because, as I've noted in my thread about my own orchi, the procedure is nearly identical to any other involving testicular cancer or other disease. They can get a bit fancy if they want to, but it shouldn't scare off an experienced urological surgeon.

Good luck, hon, and sorry if my answer was a bit long.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[Charlize]

Girl do i understand what you are feeling. It seemed to take forever to get everything together. Then i had my letters and all tests approvals etc and was in bed 3 days before i was scheduled and bam i had a heart attack. That was last March. I've gotten good at waiting and actually have begun to understand that i must simply enjoy today and the progress i've made. I do what i need to and oddly the time and hurdles pass. Imagine my surprise when i had to get new letters, medical approvals, lab tests and wait, 6 months at a minimum.

Well i got a call today and i'm on the schedule!!!!!! I'll post about that later but i hope you can hang in there and try to understand that while tears flow and frustration mounts acceptance and time make our journey so much smoother.

The high point is that you've been given a path. try to enjoy it as much as you can and the end will be even sweeter.

Hugs,

Charlize

[Guest Mickey]

When I was 15 my parents had placed me in a treatment center at a local hospital. While there my roomate and I started having a few problems. His personal therapist wanted tobring me into my roomates individual counseling session. So he got my chart when he got me, did a pretty quick review then turned to me and said, "You've had enough in patient treatment that you could do my job. Something that I went to school for years to do." And I told him, "Yeah, you saw me doing your job this morning, in group therapy." Refering to an incident that morning and he nodded in agreement, remembering what had happened that morning.

I guess I said all that just to say, everything y'all have said, I already know. I knew that before I posted. The knowing, how ever, doesn't make the waiting any easier though. Does it.

What does help is putting my thoguhts down and getting your input, your thoughts on things. Your stories, from frustrations, and road blocks, to clear paths, and celebrations. Just the simple act of comunicating with my sisters and brothers, that are familiar with my struggles, makes the time spent waiting MUCH easier. More enjoyable And it just might make that time pass a wee bit faster.

[Charlize]

hopefully you do know your not alone in those feelings and that there are others who share that with you and understand. When my son died years ago it was the folks who had lost children who gave the best support. It was just good to know someone understood!

Hugs,

Charlize

[Guest Mickey]

Oh yes Charlize, the not being alone, is the one thing that makes the wait easier. Being able to discuss things with those who have been where I am now, listening to those who are coming behind me, just being able to hang out and chill with those who, while maybe not in my particular circumstances, do know the struggles I am going through and have been through. At times it seems as if, simply, not being alone, is the only thing that helps.

[Charlize]

Hopefully you will be able to post you have a date soon as i just did.

Hugs and another because i like hugs,

Charlize

[Guest Mickey]

Today and tomorrow are the 2 days that I've been looking forward to since this timelast month. Today I saw my GT and found out that she hasn't written the letter yet. Tomorrow is when I see my regular Dr. I was going to ask him about the progress but now there is no need. I'm still waiting. I did tell my GT what somebody said here, about wishing there was a way to show health care professionals that Testosterone is a poison to MtF Trans* folk. To them there is not big urgency in anything involved with transitioning but for us it is often a life and death matter. They just don't get it. I do think that she (my GT) was starting to get it by the time my hour was up. Just wish that she'd understood things better LAST month. :banghead: