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Maybe a repeat question...but when dress up...


Guest CD Laura Savatore34

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Guest CD Laura Savatore34

I'm not sure if this question had been asked before but here I go...

When you dress up, does the thought of actually going all the way and completing the transition, ever cross others minds, basically to those ladies who just crossdress. MTF or FTM. I've actually had day dreams of completely going all the way. Is it just the euphoria I feel when Im in lingerie or pretty outfit?

I do snap out of it, sometimes, then other it lingers for days then go away.

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  • Forum Moderator

Well as a lady who "just cross dressed" until my 60's i must admit that i had only a hint of that fantasy. I was quite naive and had only seen any form of transition (a term i didn't know) in pornography which didn't appeal to me. I had read some literature by wonderful folks who had changed but it was so foreign and remote i just went on with a life of male drab, doing the best i could.

I eventually met some trans folks and also began to explore the outside world very slowly. I didn't know of any of the support groups that exist now.

So my answer is both yes and no. I thought about it but quickly dismissed the idea. Now it's just me.

Sorry if i brought in my perspective but i spent the vast majority of my life cross dressing as i could.

Hugs,

Charlize

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  • Forum Moderator

When you dress up, does the thought of actually going all the way and completing the transition, ever cross others minds, basically to those ladies who just crossdress.

I went full time some time ago, but there was a time, when the scenario mentioned above resonated, I think lot's of us MTF had these dreams as phrased above when "just crossdress". In my time and place the resources to transition were simply way out of reach, clothes did come easy, but to actually step through the door and never look back would occur later, it took the understanding that it was not about clothes, and really about an internal identity. I had visions back then, and the future is now...

Dreams do come true.

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Although I didn't go through a "crossdressing-only stage", many MTFs did (and you already can see two examples on this thread).

Maybe those day dreams are just fantasies, or maybe they are a hint that crossdressing eventually won't be enough. In any case, it'd probably be a good idea to discus them with a gender therapist.

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Guest (S)hE-W0lf

I often still argue with myself on weather dressing up is enough or if I would want to go further. A while ago my thoughts were that I couldn't go without it, even though I currently don't have the financial resources to pursue it, I was convinced transition was what lay ahead. Currently I feel I don't need anything more than occasional cross-dressing and I feel like I can keep it there. Then there are days when I have this gut feeling that it won't be enough always, that I'll realise one day I can't keep dreaming or fantasising about being as complete a girl as I could be. It's a tug of war that might never be fully resolved in my case.

But yes, I only dress and the thoughts do linger at times.

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  • Admin

Oh, yes, absolutely. In my cross dressing days, I often thought about what it would be like if I could dress that way all the time, and go out and not have people stare, and live the life I wanted so badly. Day dreams, fantasy, role playing, whatever you want to call it, I did it. I cross dressed in clothes that were everyday sorts of things, clothes that I could have worn anywhere if I had wanted. Sexual fantasy was never part of the equation. I never dressed in lingerie or kinky stuff, because that's not who I wanted to be.

These days, my dreams of long ago are my reality. :)

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

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Guest CD Laura Savatore34

That is great example She-wolf, it feels like a tug of war sometimes. And it's so hard to fully pave the road, I've feel I have a good stable outline of the direction I want to go, but it is so difficult to allow fantasy from decision that might some day end in regret.

Thanks Edu, I've been researching some Gender Therpists in my area. I think someone like that will help with certain details.

But I guess it all goes back to getting stuck in the web of finding "My Title", "My Classification"; when all that matters is that I'm Me...

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Guest CD Laura Savatore34

Funny thing Carolyn, yes, it does happen sometimes when I put on lingerie or a cute sexy outfit, but sometimes even when I'm at work in my "male" work clothes. Or the most conservative thing my wife may have in the closet.

I guess I should let the pendulum swing for awhile and see where it is I end up.

I guess not force straight foreword answer this early.

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Guest Clair Dufour

As long as I can take my mind to a female space Im quite happy though, passing better would be nice. But, Im a feminist and think gender is a patriarchal plot. On the other hand, women wear more and more mens style clothes and expect men to stay the same. Some men like womens clothes for the same reasons. The problem is were not organized!

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  • Admin

I guess I should let the pendulum swing for awhile and see where it is I end up.

I guess not force straight foreword answer this early.

Extremely wise!! <see my signature line!! -- the second line!!>

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Guest Eve Caillard

Hi Laura

I've dreamed of living as a female since a teen - despite the fact I had no idea that male teenagers should not actually be thinking that! After teen years I came late to cross-dressing at 53. Now I am much more grounded and pragmatic. No, I do not wish to go further than just cross-dressing. I feel comfortable as I am, and shall cross-dress only. I'm forbidden to go out dressed by my wife, but I may go to the UK Transliving local parties some time. If was able to wave a magic wand and be a women for a day / week / month I would not hesitate to do so. But surgery? Losing my masculinity? Hmmmm I don't think I am in that place and I don't feel I ever will be. I fantasise, dream, and sometimes wish I could do it. But reality is a harsh taskmaster and I know I will not. And it is not something I regret, it is just the way it is.

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Guest Destiny Lynn

Laura. It doesn't matter to me if I am dressed or not. I get the thought. I always would have rather been female. I wasn't, accept it and live as I do. Would I entertain the thought of transition, actually going through with it now? I believe I suppress it with excuses or whatever the mind can come up with to quiet me. Destiny Lynn

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Guest noeleena

Hi,

i have spent time talking with many dressers and trans people and trying to find reason why many do like dressing in womens clothes and yes quite a few said they would like to be like women all the time , whats the appeal what is it that is so enticing,

Yes i,v heard so many different storys and idears yet i struggle to really understand why, im not a male so how would i know .

Going back in time to 1400 to 1700 men wore garb of such lovely colours and looked very should i say pretty and lovely looking yet most from accounts did not wont to be women or live as women yet had such lovely clothes .

Over the last many years some 20 i met many men who dress as women some look lovely others pass and blend in and others would not go out thier door,

The other part is those who wont to live like a woman , as is said a dream or fantasy or some other .....

Being a female is very different being a woman is different its not like changing your clothes and taking on anothers personer its being female from birth and for life how ones body is configgered is of little importance its how you are hard wired your Emotions ,

what makes you different from men mentaly as well. your whole being is so much being female you cant change that .

a point i will make and effects those of us who are the way we are is our hormonoes and how our bodys are different from normal male and female , and how our bodys can and do change yet our mind remains the same in our thinking and what makes us who we are, , i never had a dream of being female or a woman by default from birth it was set, conception as it was ,

I can only wonder about what youv said and why, you have a trigger that sets you off and clothes seem to be that, what is it about those clothes or is it a Psychological starting point something else,

as i said i just wonder , just from a female..... looking through the glass ....

...noeleena...

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Despite being a crossdresser which in my opinion requires to a degree a suspension of reality, I am also a realist. The harsh reality is I am too old to consider transitioning. I am aware that some people older than me have attempted transitioning, but that hold much water with me. For me notions of transitioning are just momentary flights of fantasy.

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Guest Roberta-Belinda

I have always wanted to be a girl since early childhood. When I was a teenager in high school I had very intense feelings about wanting to be a girl. Since I started reading internet crossdressing forums a few years ago I have often thought if I am transsexual. I am probably not as although I have yearned to be a female since childhood I don't hate my sexyal organs and I know in my heart of hearts that I am male. It's funny I am the youngest of three boys, my Mother wanted a girl. I have always found that very significant. Despite my Mum wishing that I was a girl my Mother always brought me up to be manly, even though I think she knew that I dressed in her tights and skirts a lot when she was out.

Like Eve if someone waved a magic wand I would love to be a Woman, preferably Kate Middleton, I love her dress sense and the way that she has made wearing tights/pantyhose fashionable again.

I don't think I could undertake the painful surgery of a sex change, but I so admire those who go through gender re-assignement.

In the past two years or so I have been able to dress up as Belinda more now than any other time in my forty two years of cross dressing. I am so comfortable now and guilt free I really feel like a Woman as soon as I pull my tights up and put on my pretty skirts and dresses.

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