Ideas on an AA trans* pamphlet?

[Charlize]

I received this inquiry late last night at the TGAA online meeting i attend. The group is similar to a forum. Perhaps some here might also have thoughts about this subject that i would be happy to pass along.

Below is my response to the letter and i will also be contacting our r

representative at NERAASA. I think a pamphlet would be very helpful.

Hugs,

Charlize

Hello,

Before I start, I am gender conforming. If you would rather I not join your list, please let me know and I will immediately remove myself.

My name is Craig, I am an alcoholic and I am presenting the following question to NERAASA (North East Regional AA Service Assembly) next week: Does the fellowship have a need for literature directed to transgender and gender non-conforming alcoholics?

I just found your list server and thought I would ask for your comments. The stance I am taking in my presentation is there should be literature directed to transgender and gender non-conforming alcoholics. I am interested in your experience in AA and how it may have benefited from having literature available.

In Love and Service,
Craig

Craig thank you for sharing And your efforts.
I have often thought about how literature dealing with the trans* community could be helpful. Gender was certainly one (of the many) issues that fueled my alcoholism. It was also one of the hardest truths to come to grip with in myself. Being true to myself and to the world required doing the steps, 5 years of sobriety and the support of a GLB group( they have since added a T) and my cis gendered home group. Too many of us are unable to even enter the rooms because of the fear of non acceptance. Unfortunately we are occasionally right about that attitude. I unfortunately know at least one person who will or cannot go back to meetings because of abuse.. I read the pamphlet about being a gay alcoholic early in sobriety but since i am heterosexual didn’t find it at all helpful. It had nothing to do with me. Gender and sexuality are different. It may be easy to hide ones sexual preference when necessary but it can be extremely hard to hide that you are MTF when you are 6’8” and are wearing a wig. Or are FTM and cannot afford top surgery. Alcoholism and other addictions are prevalent in this community as is an extremely high suicide rate.
A pamphlet might help those of us who are transgendered to feel more at home at meetings and might also allow the community of AA to know that we also have a desire for sobriety, that tradition 3 should include all alcoholics. I would love to see this come to my home group and many others for discussion.
I was disappointed that the recent grapevine publication “Sober and Out” has only one brief story by a gay transgendered alcoholic. Unfortunately there is still such a stigma that there may not be enough of us out and sober to contribute. A pamphlet might help with that and save some lives as well.

Hugs,

Charlize an alcoholic

[Charlize]

Here is another response too this issue : This is a quote from an on line group.

"Progress not perfection... A separate pamphlet specific to the

transgender community is the best approach, inclusion in the pamphlet

addressing sexuality may be better than nothing and will require work

moving forward, and not addressing our group in any way is the worse

approach.

But I am extremely grateful that the topic is even being discussed. A

topic that I couldn't have imagined being discussed when I entered AA for

the first time in 1994. That secret, that cross dressing was part of my

being, kept me from a solid foundation in my sobriety. And needless to say

I have relapsed several times and my shame and guilt of my gender issues

added to my return to drinking as I felt utterly alone.

I am blessed with a sponsor who has been sober for over 52 years... He is

wonderful in his approach to my terminal uniqueness. His response to my

story as we rework my steps once more is simple and to the point... "Is

that all?" Or in his gruff Poppey voice... "You are what you are.... I

ams what I am... We both have the right to walk on this earth..."

My only requests regarding such a pamphlet is twofold... 1. That it

educates the transgendered about AA, as well as educating others about us.

2. That it helps us to be part of all of AA and doesn't in any way

separate us from mainstream AA.

I avoid most meetings of a society of my profession that separates us from

the mainstream AA as it fosters a sense of being unique or different in

some way. I've come to realize I am a drunk who will drink, as that is my

nature. And the power of AA is in accepting all and any drunk who now

chooses not to want to drink any more."

Please add any ideas that may come to you. I will try to pass them on as best i can while minting anonymity. I've received an invitation to join the conversation at NERAASA and know many of us here have faced issues with being trans*, our addiction to alcohol and how we were received in the rooms.

Hugs,

Charlize

[Charlize]

I am a bit nervous as i will be attending NERAASA this afternoon and evening to offer my support to the idea of a new pamphlet dealing with alcoholics who are trans*. One member of the TGAA online group may attend. He is from NJ as well. Somehow it feels overwhelming to be involved in such a large gathering where i may have to out myself at some point to help move this work along. I'll just have to leave things up to my higher power and the third tradition that states that the only requirement for membership is the desire to stop drinking.

If i can somehow leave my self behind and concentrate on the help this may provide others my nerves will steady. HP will help there i'm sure and for now i'm enjoying warm sun coming in the window with snow blowing outside in 0 degree temps.

Hugs,

Charlize

[gennee]

Tell us how things went, Charlize

[VickySGV]

One element that needs to be cleared up to make things a bit smoother is HOW to help Trans* people balance their drinking and their Trans* and how non-Trans* can relate it to the Alcohol addiction recovery. The two fit under the Third tradition but some general admonitions for both sides need to be there.

Trans* issues do make honesty a bigger challenge in recovery and the sense of "medication" for an unknown problem side are very important. Trans* is a background, but is not why we are in AA, alcohol is, but our "how it was" needs that element to be present or our stories do not make sense since facts often are from pre-transition. I hope you folks can bat it out. It would be fun to see a Trans' pamphlet.

[Charlize]

I must admit to being terrified as i looked at the microphone in the center of a room of 700+ alcoholics from all over the North East. The cis gentleman who did the presentation and who had contacted TGAA online did a fine presentation. As we spoke before the opening i discovered that he had been given the topic and had not proposed it himself. I'm glad he did his research and he quoted several of us from the online group. His presentation was strongly suggesting the need for a trans* pamphlet. After the presenters were done the floor was open to comments and i was the first one at the microphone. "Hello my name is Charlize an alcoholic and a trans woman."

Two minutes and so much to say. I must admit to being somewhat passionate about the need for AA to more fully open it's doors. I have unfortunately seen examples of that not happening. It wasn't my experience but it has been for others i know. I spoke about the need for a pamphlet that would make it possible for any of us who entered the rooms to feel comfortable and accepted. I was able to cite examples of this exclusion thanks to the shares of trans* folks i know. None of us should be condemned to death by alcohol without the hand of AA there for them.

I also mentioned that the cis population of AA should have some knowledge of how to relate to us.

I wish i could remember just what i said but it was so much a matter of being honest, letting go and letting my higher power use me to speak. Amazingly i didn't go past the allotted time and was greeted with applause.

After the assembly was over i was embraced by many. I think i was the only trans* person there, certainly the only one out. A member of the national headquarters AA literature committee came up and thanked me along with another of the heads of National out of NY. It will take time but we may get a pamphlet in just a few years. That is amazingly fast for the wheels of AA to turn.

There was nothing more stirring than saying the serenity prayer with over 700 people and having the chance to be honest about oneself as a way of helping others. I feel blessed.

Hugs,

Charlize

[Michelle 2010]

Thank you for being a channel for God to,speak through and having the willingness to be useful to us when the opportunity presented itself. Sometimes when doors open we can have reluctance to walk through them...

Kudos for what you did

[Guest rita63]

Been a while since I was here, hello to all. Charlize I was at our local LGBT meeting last week and our DSR (district rep) was there asking the 2 of us trans people there for input as AA was re-writing its LGBT pamphlet to include trans. Apparently there is a trans woman elsewhere in ON who is part of the push for this. I must admit I enjoy reminding some less sensitive members of the 3rd tradition. The March 1 Grapevine quote does say it all. Nice to see Vicky and Michelle are still here , you all helped me in maintaining my sobriety and setting rita free. Thanks to you all. hugs. rita