The need for Acceptable Speech

[tracy_j]

As usual this morning I was in town doing the weekly shop and as usual after shopping at the supermarket I went to local clothes shops for a little retail therapy.

I was dressed as female, although not girly, and while in the supermarket as far as I was aware I was accepted as female.

After this I went to another shop to look at their clothing. I had no issues there as I bought nothing but must admit I had one scary moment when I went to the bathroom and as I entered the outer door to the facillites (male, female and disabled) I noticed the store security guard standing in the corridor outside the female bathroom. Go for it! as I did (after all I have been doing so for the last fifty odd years ). No problem but a case of thinking fast and just reacting. There were no women inside but I almost wished there were as the only way to become confident is to be relaxed in open company.

I next visited another shop an bought a new top. Very nice patterned and somewhat see through so I could not wear as male as it requires a bra which would be obvious. A summer top to be worn with jeans - I am very much looking forward to wearing it as it is very feminine. I am not used to wearing patterned feminine wear and this looks very nice!

The point of this post as I have digressed somewhat. The main problem I find is that I feel I am able to pass as female to a large extent (even though my face is very male) because I am confident (I feel like a woman) but I am let down with my lack of confidence in my voice. It will come but I would just like to convey to everyone that it is good to practice and use your female voice as much as reasonably possible. Perhaps it is just me (I love to talk to people) but most of the uncertain points in my passing were when talking to people.

I hope this helps

Tracy x

[Cyndee]

I agree Tracy, and good for you in your travels.

Voice work is so important to anyone on the MTF spectrum.

It's so gratifying when other's notice your achievements ! Keep it up girl, sing song, and before you know it....

Hugs

C -

[Guest noeleena]

Hi.

I know you wont hear my voice as im 1 / 2 way round the world and wont meet you plus if you read my posts youll know im a bit different in a few ways concerning my body and what I am . so , okay as you know im very involved with in our groups with a membership of over 1500 people so where would that put me concerning my voice plus done interviews for TV and talked to large groups of people , plus sing and do short story / readings .

I have only ever had one woman 8 years ago say to me as we were talking her words youll have to do some thing about your voice.

Well I never did though I sing and know my range I could not be bothered , yet a bit later on my body went into a change of voice my own hormones and other aspects of my body did it with out forcing it yea I know most wont accept or belive it can happen to those of us who are different . basic voice was barrotone and two years later I could not get down to that ,

I would not say its a normal female voice yet with in keeping of my body detail its more than good enough I never tried to be feminine or try to blend in or pass as a normal female though im female just not a complete one I never get ?nd on my voice though have been on my facial features as being more masculine and im hard on my self concerning that and that goes back 57 years,

do I pass as normal female ,im accepted as a normal female / woman I body wise look like a female and when I talk with many 100,s of people and those who know me don't have any issues and this includes those I have known over 57 years , and those I worked with .

I quess the only way out of this would be to ask those who know me my friends who live next door and others and even strangers who have never met or heard my voice yet talk as though we.v known each other for years.

Or lack of confidence voice lets you down and facial features. and you pass as like a female gee you and most others would far surpass me in most of those, and more like a lot more ,

my difference with those lacks is im a born female just not a whole / complete one yes I have disadvantages pleanty of ......

Yet I do have a few advantages maybe not many yet im still able to be myself with out a doubt of being female so we don't all have every detail just right .

Just as a ? or two . in how you see your self , Psychologically Mentally and Emotionally I look at this a lot and do ask because that opens up to me what s really going on with a person and sometimes I see a as we,d say a road block up ahead and that will stop one from seeing them selfs and growing as a person you may look at the physical or your body and work on that , I go with my detail in the Mental and Emotional and and I know myself the shifts i had were more correct for myself as a person,,

Not in my mind changes it was in how im able to express myself ,

of cause none of this ......may even apply for you .

...noeleena...

[tracy_j]

Hi noeleena

You put an interesting take on things. It has made me think a little more about what I wrote. I think I would change 'lack of confidence in my voice' to 'lack of experience with my voice. I have given myself some training and to a large extent removed the chest resonance. I don't know whether my voice is very feminine but as long as it does not sound false then it has got to be better. The only thing is that, with lack of experience of using, it varies quite a bit. I am happy with one incident though in which a week ago from the above I was in another store and used the womens facillities there. It was empty but as I was going out I almost walked straight into a woman entering. I think I coped well by saying sorry in a very soft voice which is good reaction as I would have expected to say it in a very male voice as a reflex action. It is coming. I have noticed, even today, that I am often speaking far more softly than I would have done a short while ago.

I note your points about 'Psychologically Mentally and Emotionally'. These I see as the important things. Without surgery or hormones which I am not planning (at the moment), only limited changes can be made to my body anyway. I do see many women with physical issues and they are still women - that is one thing I really take note of.

I have never really tried to be feminine but have tried to appear as a woman. The two, I feel, are different. That said I must admit I do not try so much to be a woman these days. I think a common error is to try too hard. Also we don't really need to try to be who we are - we just are. If that is a woman Ok; If not it still has to be Ok. I think I have always been feminine. I have found I like to feel like a woman. Hard to say what that is and I am still learning / experiencing. These days it is not trying to be a woman, it is feeling like a woman and identifying as such. At the moment it is confusing and complex as I feel like I have two seperate lives at times, but must admit it seems, to me, more correct when they are combined.

Just a few thoughts - I think in many ways similar to yours although we each have different ways of putting things. For each of us the path is different - yet similar

Tracy

[Guest noeleena]

Hi Tracy,

Thank you .

Yes for sure we are all different in our own ways and how that happens depends on each one and so many different factors of how we are born how we are brought up or draged up , all have an effect on us .

having confidence in your self ( you or me ) selfesteem selfworth knowing who you are being sure of your self , would for myself was be in conflict ,

no self esteem no confidence and no self worth , and not being able to express my self was what pretty much ran my life for many years and could not talk to people -shy backward embarriast plus more that effected me greatly in daly life as a kid from age 10 on till about 24 reading spelling was out plus did not learn , so really i did not function very well

,just over 21 years ago changes started taking place ,

Ill explain it this way ,i was training as a pilot and new i had to fly by myself at some stage , i all so new i was not ready at the time i thought i was going to be told as we landed in a padock and chef got out and said your on your own see ya in 1/2 an hour..

was i ready that time i was and after that, yet had i been put in that place 4 weeks before no ,, Mentaly no way .I knew i could fly no problem just was not ready , so we each of us have a time to learn and then we become able tyo carry it through .

so its been with much of my life i knew my time was coming in many aspects over the years . and that applys for me growing into a woman even though i was female till that start of those 21 years ago i was not ready and nore was my body = hormones and changes

we each when we allow our whole being to be ready then we can go ahead and do what we need to, now of cause you will apply to your self , wether it be voice or growing or what ever it maybe only you know that .

I did not have to allow my whole being to be ready that happened by and of it self you see mentaly it was set long before my time just that time ...HAD... to be right ,it was and this is why every thing and people were set in place for myself .

i know some may think im a nut case and weird ... okay i dont mind at all ...its as iv said sometimes we dont chose our life its set before us do we fight like crazzy or go with the .....FLOW.... i went with the flow and its been so Fantastic .

i would never ever say whats happened to myself is the only or right way , because theres just so much thats different .

The most amazzing thing for me is The People and how they.... went out ......of thier way for me , i can never pay them back.

Two seperate lives , i can not get my head around that its so totaly over my head some i know said just that to me and i said , that would do my head in , i just dont have the words to grasp what your saying ,

To be feminine , an act of being like that , or natural , myself Total natural, and how i exprass my self and who i am ,

Yet i have to remember how would you understand what makes me the way i am how i think ( female ) complete i dont know any other way,

Thank you for taking the time to write ,

...noeleena...