Am i two different people or just one

[Guest Jocelyn1975]

My wife and I were talking about my crossdressing and it kind of bothered me that she refered to me as a seperate person when dressed. I don't feel like two different people, I feel more feminine when dressed but I don't see myself as two separate people. It feels as if she is saying I have multiple personality disorder. I don't know how others feel regarding this but I can say I am the same person when dressed just prettier:). I don't know if I should say anything to her about it considering she is still trying to adjust to my crossdressing. Maybe by making it two separate people is her way of understanding. It just doesn't feel right to me. If anyone has suggestions for me please try to help me understand.

[tracy_j]

I think we may think and dress in a far more relaxed manner than others may be able to cope with. I found in my early days of dressing that people were really shocked with the change and took some time to cope. Although, even now, some of my friends obviously still have issues, I have one friend (who is my biggest critic, not coping well at all) who has stated that he tells other friends that I am still the same person underneath - we have got that far which is good.

That is how I see things - to most it takes time to adjust. This is easier for us as we are in the driving seat. Put yourself in the position of others. If they accept it is a big step and in time they may well get there.

I could ask though - are you acting like a different person without realising it?

Hope it helps

Tracy

[Guest Jocelyn1975]

Tracy I may be acting different in my mannerisms some but yes maybe it's easier from my wife to distinguish between me dressing and not. And yes Megan I have never been a macho man either. I have often been called a sissy when I was in my teens. I don't know why it bothers me I just wish it could just be me and only me.

[Charlize]

When we dress we do appear from the outside like a different person. Inside we are just the same. I must admit i was surprised at seeing myself in the mirror for some time. Who's that? I can certainly understand your wife's feelings. I wouldn't take it personally or think you have a split personality. It is simply that you do not look like the same person when you are dressed and openly another gender. The same you lives within.

Hugs,

Charlize

[Guest Lynnette Rae]

I just came out to my wife and she is very supportive of me. She just recently started referring to me as Lynnette when I am dressed femme instead of Doug. Your wife is being supportive of your feminine side and in time hopefully she will come to think of you as you and not as two separate people. Just give her a little time Maybe do something you would only do dressed manly but dressed femme or vice-versa. I pretty much dress femme now full time, I get up in the morning and put on a bra after a shower. I still do everything just like a male throughout the day. My wife only calls me Lynnette when I am dressed to the 9's although she does slip sometimes and calls me Doug. I hope your wife does eventually see you as just one person it may take a little time, be patient she is trying to adjust in her own way.

[Guest Jocelyn1975]

Very kind words Lynnette and yes I know she is trying to be supportive I do appreciate that. I have decided on a name that is close to my male name so that maybe I can feel the same even when dressed male. Even though I try to dress metro or gender neutral a lot. But you are right she is trying and I do appreciate it. It makes me feel loved by her and it has helped me a lot.

[gennee]

I. Stressed to my wife that I'm the same person, just that I'm in a difference package.

[Guest Lynnette Rae]

I guess I am one of the lucky ones in that regard. When I first came out to my wife I had only dressed in secret and I really had never chosen a name, My wife is the one who suggested I had to have a name when dressed en femme. She said it would never do for her to call me Doug when we went out. She sees me as the man she married, but with a whole new softer side. she has been my rock in this most vulnerable time. I am one lucky girl and I make sure she knows she is special.

[Guest Jocelyn1975]

Lynnette my wife has been very good to me and very understanding as well. I have a femme name because my wife wanted me to have one also. I chose something similar to my own name. I know it's different thinking it was just the way it made me feel like two different individuals and I'm not. Maybe I think to much

[Guest Lynnette Rae]

I know what you mean, I sometimes feel like a totally different person when I am fully dressed and my daughter refuses to call me dad, she calls me Lynnette. I was sitting on the couch the other day and she said "Daddy can Lynnette come over to play tomorrow", she does know that I am still dad when fully dressed, but I am mostly Lynnette to her. But I really felt like two separate people then. We are very lucky that we have a supportive family and I do thank my wife for wanting me to have a female name. May I pm you and add you as a friend Jocelyn.

Hugs and KissesXOXOXO

[Guest Jocelyn1975]

Myes you can add me and pm me Lynnette and yes we are very lucky hugs

[Guest Hal9003]

You made me think about myself and if I am two different people - a man with all the "manly" traits and my femme side. Although I am the same person, I have two very different personalities. There are times when I feel more like a woman - I cry when watching gushy Hallmark love movies. I become very fashion conscience and spend a lot of time with my wife shopping for her cloths and wishing it was for me. This is when I love to dress, it makes me feel complete as a person. My wife has taken notice of my "change" in personality and have often commented, when cloths shopping for her that it was like she was out with her girl friend. I do not think she knows I dress en femme but when she says things like - I wish my girl friend was here to go shopping - makes me wonder. I think my fear is that if I confront who I really am, then maybe my marriage is done and my life and my relationships would be all turned around. At the present it is an internal battle for who I really am.

[Guest Jocelyn1975]

Hal its always a risk to come out. My wife had a lot of questions. I still don't know where it will end but I am happier with her knowing. I can say it was difficult but the lie was tearing us apart. I dropped suttle hints until I finally just told her. It's been an interesting road so far it's had its ups and downs but definitely better then keeping the lie.

[Guest]

I've often wondered whether I was two separate people. However, upon a great deal of thought, I realized that I think the same way regardless of whether I'm 'dressed' or not. I do however, seem to tailor my comments and such differently based upon whether I'm 'dressed' or not', or as I've said to my wife "Fiona vs Daniel.

Why do I 'tailor'? I've thought about that too, I guess I base the 'tailoring' on societal 'norms'........

[Guest alexaz]

Hi all

Interesting post and thought Id add my 2 cents worth. If its worth that

These are my thoughts about me and they may or not relate to anybody but me Or everybody or maybe just a few.

I am one person.

Dressed or not. Fem or masculine.

Yes I act more feminine when I dress in girly mode but I do act and think much like a woman in male mode too.(always have )

I never used to understand the term ' having a feminine side' when I was younger although I definitely had one.

I even hid from it at times not wanting to be teased or bullied.

But now I relish it, embrace it, welcome that side and love it. Its me.

We are born into a body whether right or wrong and for a lot of our lives we are taught and expected to act as that person / body / gender.

We learn certain actions, thought processes and mannerisms in that body and this causes us dysphoria and confusion pain and maybe even hatred of our bodies as they are. And more.

When we accept ourselves as the true person that we are. It might seem that we are 2 different people but for myself I see myself as 1 person with 2 distinct learned personalities.

One male and one female.

I will never forget or loose the male things that I have learned and done and will use some of these things from time to time but I also will remember and act on the female things that I experienced and learn too.

Over time the male actions seem to fade some or maybe a lot but they will always be inside of me. I was unfortunately raised as one.

But the female thoughts, actions and mannerisms expand and are more automatic.

As I said. I may have 2 life experiences going on inside of me but I am only 1 person.with 1 body.

This is me and how I choose to live my life.

It might help others to ponder this or maybe not, but it does fit for me.

Love, Peace and tranquility to all.

Alexaz

[Guest CD Laura Savatore34]

My situation is still a bit young, but I'm definitely living two lives. Since I've come out to my wife, which was devastating and full of hatred from her part, the topic has not been brought up. And I find myself bring Laura S. When no one is home or on here. I think as more supportive people I might in the home front, Laura and me will not be separated.

[Guest Kati]

Defining who we are at any given moment is like chasing the wind. We are complex creatures, capable of expressing our personality (or should that be personalities) in a variety of ways.