Heres where i am at

[Guest Jocelyn1975]

I am confused as to who I am and what I want to come from all this. I go to therapy Thursday of this week my wife has had her first solo appointment with the same therapist. Our therapist recommended a group to go to I don't know if we will make it tonight but my wife seems to want to go. I want to explore my dressing further but I am afraid of where it will lead. I don't want to lose everything I have worked for. I already lost a lot when I tried to move my family to where I thought would be friendlier. I want to be able to be me but the world isn't accepting. I read story after story of girls like us losing everything and having a hard time getting back on their feet after transitioning. I read stories of people being hurt for who they are. I know this is a personal journey and I understand that either way there are consequences I just can't figure out what I am willing to pay to be me. I wish there was an easy answers but I having found one yet.

[Guest Kayla Grace]

Just a bit of advice before you head to your therapist. You're paying him/her to help you, so utilize them in every way possible and use them to explore. That's what they're there for.

God Bless

Kayla <3

[Guest Ellyssa]

Jocelyn:

You are doing the right thing. Your wife has apparently accepted your feminine side or, at the least, is willing to work out her feelings on it. She could have flat out rejected Jocelyn. You are a very lucky girl to have her in your life and you are farther along than many of us. Professionally, I took a hit 14 years ago when I was frustrated by an ethical problem at my workplace and resigned in protest. I have only now recovered from that so I kind of understand that concern. Professional setbacks are difficult but recoverable - family may not be. I don't know where I am headed either but I am exploring the options to make the best decision for my family, career, but most importantly, for me. You are taking those same steps and your struggles are just a sign that you care deeply for the people in your life. Your wife should take your difficulties in discovering your true self as a good sign that you have a high level of respect for maintaining the family and your relationships.

If you want, let us know how therapy goes. Best wishes to you.

[Guest Jocelyn1975]

I plan to Kayla I stopped therapy out of fear the last time with the same therapist. Maybe we weren't ready then but I think we are now and my wife is excited and being supportive so we will see how it goes. Elyssa I are right she is being supportive and I appreciate that. I don't know the future I guess no one does so we will see.

[Guest Jocelyn1975]

So went to group and met some great people last night. Had a good time I didn't dress fully because my kids still don't know. But it is definitely something me and my wife are going to continue. We are meeting outside of group next time which will be fun. It is amazing being in a room with like minded people who know your struggles and you can understand theirs as well.

[gennee]

That's great to hear, Jocelyn.