Clarissa Jo

[Guest Chris546]

Hello Everyone

I already made a short introduction of myself in the introductions. I will give a little more about me here for anyone that likes reading about boring lives.

I am a 44 year old transgender. I grew up in a medium sized town with both parents in the house and a brother and a sister. I played youth hockey growing up which when I look back is a big highlight of my childhood. I have one son that I raised with my ex-wife that I meet when he was 3 1/2 years old. I also have one granddaughter who is the cutest thing that is just over a year old. I was with my ex-wife for 17 years before we split up last year and we still remain friends.

I went to college for accounting, business, and manufacturing. I worked in the almost every aspect the metal manufacturing field from grunt on the floor to management. I plan to return to college hopefully this fall or next spring and still uncertain in what I want to pursue as a major.

I have been in 2 serious car accidents in my life. One when I was 19 (not my fault) and the other when I was 33. The last one was my fault I went off the road in a single vehicle crash at high speed. I have now been sober 11 years and still attend AA regularly.

I always felt the want to be a woman throughout my life. In 2001 my wife found female hormones that I was taking and threatened to leave me. I ended up flushing the hormones and once again back to grind of an everyday guy. For the past 5 years I have really have come to terms how bad I really felt like a was trapped in the wrong body. Every year that has past it kept getting more and more of this trapped feeling of many things in life. One was my love towards my wife and the other was tearing the seams out of our relationship which is that of wanting to be a woman.

The end of my relationship with my wife happened like this. After coming home one day my wife was sitting in front of my computer and got up and walked away like nothing was wrong. When I sat down my computer was open to my free writes folder, with one being open. Yes, I had been free writing about the desire to be a woman for years and she read them. I know she didn't read all of them it would have been to many, but she had read enough. By this time I had spent the past year sobbing uncontrollable over feelings of loneliness and how miserable I was being a guy, and this secret I knew she read.

For the first time it has been out in the open, my life long secret.

I know that you understand that this is just a glance of my life up to now of what brings me to these forums.

I have experienced and found a lot of happiness in my life to this point, but for all the miseries that I have gone through in life; it has just been the measuring instrument to calibrate what true happiness is. This next unwritten chapter of my life is about to blossom into something beautiful and bring more happiness than I have already been so fortunate to have in my life.

Clarrisa Jo

[gennee]

Thank you for sharing, ClarissaJo. Seems like you have a great understanding of the path you are taking. I'm still making discoveries ten years after starting this journey. Embrace all the experiences that come your way and learn from them.

[Charlize]

Thank you for your introduction Clarissa Jo. I was fortunate to find Laura's 3 years ago (as of tomorrow). I had left an AA meeting at my home group where i'd come out 2 weeks beforehand. Perhaps i could find something else to help me so i googled transgender.

My time here and in the rooms has changed my life so that today i have found some peace and can see the beauty in the world.

If you have any interest you might want to join some of us at the Sunday night 9:00 eastern addiction meeting on chat.

I'm glad you have joined us here and hope you find the self acceptance i have found since being here.

Hugs,

Charlize