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Because Were All Getting Tired Of The Media


Guest CottonKiwi

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Guest CottonKiwi

I was reading Marie Claire when i came across an article titled

Boys will be Girls: they where talking about mtf transgenders in japan being invited to a school where they would be allowed to be themselves and even wear the girls uniform. what buged me was that they went on to call them "ladyboys" through out the section, and of course the title. It was sad to see such slanted journalism dispite the fact that they made mention of the lack of acceptance most transgenders get. I bugged me so i put the magazine down and picked up Glamour in its place XP

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Guest Little Sara

Ladyboys or kathoey is the term MtFs are called in Thailand. It is meant to be somewhat derogatory and denoting 'fakeness', yet most people are tolerant because they see it as a punishment (from bad karma) or mental illness (and they have pity for the mentally ill, rather than contempt).

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Guest Lizzie McTrucker
so i put the magazine down and picked up Glamour in its place XP

That was a good move. I <3 Glamour.

Oh and I thought that's what they were called over there, so I'm sure the author was just trying to use the correct term for that culture.

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Guest Little Sara
That was a good move. I <3 Glamour.

Oh and I thought that's what they were called over there, so I'm sure the author was just trying to use the correct term for that culture.

In Japan they are not called ladyboys as far as I know.

At best they are called new-half (which sounds similar I guess).

From the Urban Dictionary:

new-half - 1 definition - n. A Japanese slang term for a pre-op or non-op male-to-female transexual.

Otherwise they use the same terms we use, MtF, FtM, trans, transsexual, Transgender (used derogatively, maybe they prefer new-half for that).

There is a whole genre of hentai devoted to "chicks with dicks" called futanari (well, they usually have both organs). Even in that genre, new-half may be used to differentiate.

Trap is an american term (not used in Japan as far as I know), from 4chan, for a pre/non-op trans woman who can pass easily (the "deceptive" model of trans in media, per Julia Serano's book).

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Guest mia 1

Great research Little Sara A+ for that work..Never knew the Japanese/English translations thanks for your help.and thanks CottonKiwi for starting the topic..............Mia

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Guest AniStacy

Ok don't kill me for saying this. :)

But I think a name for something is just a name.

Its not really what you call someone, its how or in what context you call them it.

"ladyboy" is a phase transsexuals go through.

I can say I'm a ladyboy as easily as i can say I'm a transsexual.

Its just a word...

The rest of the world is trying to understand us, let them creep in...

My advice is to not be so "in yo' face" about it society has its norms and its trying to improve. If you constantly pushing you never going to get there.

Homosexuality has been slandered for many years, and will continue to be unless the "group" stop forcing thier views on others; it has become a lifestyle instead of part of who you are; because the moment you start pushing... people don't come closer, they move further away.

Think of when a strict christian trys to tell you how wrong you are... does it make you want to change?

<3 Stacy

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Guest CottonKiwi

Hmm.. maybe I could do some resarch next time, though I feel that Marie Claire should be translated more for our culture.

thank you Little Sara for the information I do love Marie Claire, Glamour, and Allure. I dont want to think any of them are insensitive.

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Guest Little Sara
Ok don't kill me for saying this. :)

But I think a name for something is just a name.

Its not really what you call someone, its how or in what context you call them it.

"ladyboy" is a phase transsexuals go through.

I can say I'm a ladyboy as easily as i can say I'm a transsexual.

Its just a word...

The rest of the world is trying to understand us, let them creep in...

My advice is to not be so "in yo' face" about it society has its norms and its trying to improve. If you constantly pushing you never going to get there.

Homosexuality has been slandered for many years, and will continue to be unless the "group" stop forcing thier views on others; it has become a lifestyle instead of part of who you are; because the moment you start pushing... people don't come closer, they move further away.

Think of when a strict christian trys to tell you how wrong you are... does it make you want to change?

<3 Stacy

I don't agree with this. If we close our eyes and say "It's just a name" nothing will change. Do we punish Christians for being Christian? Then the analogy doesn't hold.

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Guest AniStacy
I don't agree with this. If we close our eyes and say "It's just a name" nothing will change. Do we punish Christians for being Christian? Then the analogy doesn't hold.

My analogy doesn't referr to that...

It reffers to our response when sombody tries to force thier beliefs or lifestyle onto us.

If a person says "ladyboy" to define a transitioner he may mean it in the best of spirit (or he may just be trying to tolerate it).

Now if you jump down his throat and start getting offended; chances are hes not going to understand. Its going to deterr him from actually understanding.

Just like those people who start shouting if you swear around them, its just annoying. If they just stated thier case, and were a little patient, they'd find that the chronic swearer would ease into it.

I've told my mother I want to be adressed as female, but if she slips up i do not correct her, it causes anxiety about the matter and has the opposite effect of speeding up the adjustment.

On a larger scale

State your case and let the world adjust, it takes decades!

<3 stacey

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Guest Elizabeth K

I am afraid we are a curiosity - there are just not that many of us to protest against whatever comes our way (unlike the organized gay community - and I KNOW in the GLBT - the 'T' is us).

The good news is it seems to be getting a bit better, probably because of the movies 'Boys Don't Cry," "Normal," "Southern Comfort," and espeialy 'Transamerica." Maybe the drag queen movies are over (probably not).

So we just watch - and wait - and get murdered by hate groups!

I think YouTube is also a big help. A trmrmdous amount of younger people now see transgendered people as that, 'people." But there is a tremendous amount of trash on YouTube as well.

When the word 'Transgender' goes away, maybe there will be hope. Maybe Ladyboys won't catch on.

Always hopelessly optomistic.

Lizzy

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I don't agree with this. If we close our eyes and say "It's just a name" nothing will change. Do we punish Christians for being Christian? Then the analogy doesn't hold.

In some parts of the world they still do and in the early days they were persecuted and killed on a regular basis.

It wasn't until there were enough of them to feel safe in their numbers that they began to follow the leaders and protest their treatmeant that they were able to make a change.

Why do people persecute us?

Because they do not understand and therefore fear us.

Why does this continue?

Because we let it!

It is because of this treatment that everyone who can goes stealth after their transitions.

And because so many go stealth the numbers seem to remain small and the treatment continues.

I plan on becoming very active after my transition, when I am turned down for wemployment as a woman I will bring suit and when I am denied any services aI will protest.

I will write articles, poems, short stories, books and any pamplet that I can affordd to publish because the only way to stop this treatment is to stand up against it and force it back - bullies are cowards and once shown that they are not scaring you they become the sheepish cowards that they are from birth.

I am planing to write a little more and have a book of my views published and I am trying to find a suitable organization with which to split the profits (if any sell) - it will not be the GLBT as the money goes to all (more to the GLB than the T) - if you know of a really good Trans organization that has any kind of political clout please let me know.

Sally steps down from her ever present soap bax and goes back to her work.

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Ok don't kill me for saying this. :)

But I think a name for something is just a name.

Its not really what you call someone, its how or in what context you call them it.

"ladyboy" is a phase transsexuals go through.

I can say I'm a ladyboy as easily as i can say I'm a transsexual.

Its just a word...

The rest of the world is trying to understand us, let them creep in...

My advice is to not be so "in yo' face" about it society has its norms and its trying to improve. If you constantly pushing you never going to get there.

Homosexuality has been slandered for many years, and will continue to be unless the "group" stop forcing thier views on others; it has become a lifestyle instead of part of who you are; because the moment you start pushing... people don't come closer, they move further away.

Think of when a strict christian trys to tell you how wrong you are... does it make you want to change?

<3 Stacy

Nice. Thank you, AniStacy.

Sincerely peeps, take it easy on yourselves and lighten up. We already have it hard enough.

Haven't you ever thought that by expressing such concern over these words that you're actually aiding the intent of those

that attempt to strike pain in us?

Even if it's abundantly clear there's malicious intent behind the word, shouldn't you pause for a second and consider the source?

Fact, happy and nonmiserable people do not slander and try and belittle those around them, no matter the odds they feel between them.

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Guest OneOutOfnOne

I'd take 'ladyboy' over 'boy' any day.

Do we punish Christians for being Christian?

Interesting example, since the word 'Christian', like the word 'gay', was once an insult.

Not sure where I stand on this one. The names don't bother me personally, but I know they do bother people. Unfortunately in cases like this, I don't think we have a great deal of control over what names are used to describe us. No one wants to be told what to do or say.

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I'd take 'ladyboy' over 'boy' any day.

Interesting example, since the word 'Christian', like the word 'gay', was once an insult.

Not sure where I stand on this one. The names don't bother me personally, but I know they do bother people. Unfortunately in cases like this, I don't think we have a great deal of control over what names are used to describe us. No one wants to be told what to do or say.

Okeedoke. Good observation. And no, we DO NOT have control over this, or ever will over one bent on baseless hatred.

I'll get on here and express my concern and try and convince others though. It would do my heart good to see one grant ease upon themselves

under difficult circumstances much too similar to mine, I'm sure. They're on this site for a reason.

The insipid verbal of a miserable hater is never gonna reflect upon me in any way shape or form.

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Guest B.heard

I hope you dont mind a ftm chipping in since its something we can all realte to.. I dont like the slang names either and I wouldnt have liked to see those terms being used in a mass media magazine, but I believe anistacy has a good point.

We are a stange bunch in a sense that a lot of us actually have the end goal to disspare to go unseen as our chosen genders so as actavists go we are not off to a great start to become as visable as the GLB's my view is like anistacy shouting at the little guy that makes a wrong comment doesnt do the greatest good Id have written to the editor of the magazine and at least got some sort of sorry perhaps maybe if there is interest in us as a lifestyle they might have done another piece with more education second time around who knows, but when the media see's us as people and has more understanding for us slowly so will the general public, and since the media has to be accountable and not insulting it has to be a logical place for those of us that want to activate change to start.

But dont get me wrong Im not suggesting we all should allow comments we hear just pass or even agree with, im not black and if i hear rasist comments I will show my disaproval same for homosexuals and spirituallity but the one thing I dont do is tell people what to think only sorry but I dont agree with that so if you dont mind lets stop right now if thats how you think. often that leads to a person asking for your views thats the right time to give your 2 cents when its asked for not froced and if its not asked for well your disaproval was noted at least.

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Guest Little Sara
I've told my mother I want to be adressed as female, but if she slips up i do not correct her, it causes anxiety about the matter and has the opposite effect of speeding up the adjustment.

How will she learn? I would correct my mother. I would correct anyone I had any faith in becoming used to it.

If I don't speak up, I don't think anyone will in my place. Being passive isn't the answer to the world's problem.

If gay men and lesbian women had been passive, it would still be a curiosity in the US, there may be negative attitudes towards it, but no more than there were before, they're just actually seen as negative attitudes now, as opposed to just being mainstream.

If people in Thailand or Marie Claire think its respectuous to call them Ladyboy, mainly out of ignorance, being passive and not speaking up has what effect? Them continuing on their merry way and telling their children to do just the same. Get them to at least think about it.

You know why Thais think in proportions of about 50% that trans people are mentally ill? Because of the lack of information.

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How will she learn? I would correct my mother. I would correct anyone I had any faith in becoming used to it.

If I don't speak up, I don't think anyone will in my place. Being passive isn't the answer to the world's problem.

If gay men and lesbian women had been passive, it would still be a curiosity in the US, there may be negative attitudes towards it, but no more than there were before, they're just actually seen as negative attitudes now, as opposed to just being mainstream.

If people in Thailand or Marie Claire think its respectuous to call them Ladyboy, mainly out of ignorance, being passive and not speaking up has what effect? Them continuing on their merry way and telling their children to do just the same. Get them to at least think about it.

You know why Thais think in proportions of about 50% that trans people are mentally ill? Because of the lack of information.

Are you sure the problem in Thailand is due to a lack of information and not a lack of interaction?

I mean, isn't safe n' reasonable to assume that maybe the failure to try and correct this problem is the same kind of tranzperson that while young and in

school, chose to avoid social interaction and instead lock themselves within their houses with a buncha books and wish upon a star or ancient philosopher that

the problem would one day go away?

About 50%, huh? Comin' from a country like Thailand? Well, based on what I seen over there most don't have a pot to peepee in much less a voice.

Needless to say, I question the accuracy of this.

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I just see such a focused concentration on something like this as counter-productive. I don’t see an approach like this as progressive, but only regressive.

Wouldn’t this energy we’re channeling into how to stop all the slang words be better squarely focused on how we can improve upon ourselves and our families that are transitioning at our sides?

I myself, consider all that know about me, especially my family, to be very much involved in my transition as well.

And why shouldn’t I? After all, after 30+ years I went before them (on different occasions, I might add) and expressed that I’ve always felt like a girl and hate the body I’m in.

So speaking for myself personally, I’m a little reluctant to correct my Momma each and every time she calls me “Bubby” or by the name she told the doctor to put on my birth certificate.

The same applies to my brothers and sister that for years upon years have known me as their brother. See, we went to them and asked for acceptance to our position and for consideration of our pain. In return and by reasonable exchange, we need to be acceptant and considerate of them as well.

As far as society is concerned, I’ll be honest with yu, I’d rather everyone just think for themselves. These are the only people that have ever been worth knowing anyway.

So, on that note, please take a moment to ask yourselves why you would or should take offense from one that has nothing worthwhile to teach you.

Yu know, I can’t think of one individual that I went to school with that’s called me a f*g more than once and is now a successful story in this life, not one. And I’ve been accused of bein’ gay on numerous occasions growin’ up.

The good, free thinking people in this life compared to the drones and closed-minded followers, is like the comparison of a handful of gold dust to a mountain of clay, and this has been the case since the beginning of time.

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Guest Zenda

Kia Ora

What’s in a word???

It’s all lost in translation…. for example in Samoa they have ‘Fafafine’ which means ‘like a woman’… Here in Aotearoa we have a Maori word ‘Whakawahine’ =like a woman, and no doubt the Thai equivalent ‘Kathoey’ literal translation would be similar=like a woman…

All of the above could be taken to mean the Greek word androgynous=male female and lets face it hundreds of years ago when a cisgender person saw genetic males start to change their outward identity and become more ‘woman like’ what else would they call them???

Remember trans-gender=A cross/beyond-gender trans-sexual=A cross/beyond-sexual, are relatively new terms, what were we called prior to those terms???

They are only words and in Thailand, Samoa and here in Aotearoa the above terms are not seen as derogatory…I guess some Westerners choose to see them as derogatory when them are translated into English…

:rolleyes: BTW when I first started to affirm my gender I was called Fafafine by some Samoan guys who I was working with…

My advice…don’t lose any sleep over it, it will still be there in the morning… ;)

Metta Jendar :)

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Guest AniStacy
How will she learn? I would correct my mother. I would correct anyone I had any faith in becoming used to it.

She is slowly acknowlodging it. I stated my situation, and now she is making the effort.

She is becoming used to it, without my intervention.

Because people like to do things in thier own time and comfort ranges.

So if something is a little uncomfortable the people need extra time to adjust.

I have found this psycological experiment to be accurate more than once.

Infact the only time I have seen it not work is with people with thier own inner-conflicts, schitzophrenics, psychopaths and people with borderline personalitys.

Example:

Who's more likely to be shot -

a) The person who states thier case in a calm manner finds some sort of reasonable solution.

B) The person who hysterically pleads for thier life or threatens the assaulter.

really think about that one. Imagine you were holding the gun if you must ;)

<3 stacey

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She is slowly acknowlodging it. I stated my situation, and now she is making the effort.

She is becoming used to it, without my intervention.

Because people like to do things in thier own time and comfort ranges.

So if something is a little uncomfortable the people need extra time to adjust.

I have found this psycological experiment to be accurate more than once.

Infact the only time I have seen it not work is with people with thier own inner-conflicts, schitzophrenics, psychopaths and people with borderline personalitys.

Example:

Who's more likely to be shot -

a) The person who states thier case in a calm manner finds some sort of reasonable solution.

B) The person who hysterically pleads for thier life or threatens the assaulter.

really think about that one. Imagine you were holding the gun if you must ;)

<3 stacey

He who keeps his mouth shall keep his life; he who opens his mouth too wide shall bring on his own destruction (Proverbs 13:3) :D

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Guest Little Sara
I mean, isn't safe n' reasonable to assume that maybe the failure to try and correct this problem is the same kind of tranzperson that while young and in

school, chose to avoid social interaction and instead lock themselves within their houses with a buncha books and wish upon a star or ancient philosopher that

the problem would one day go away?

Well, no parents and society might find it weird, but over 2/3 of parents *encourage* their children to transition, *as children/teens*. That's why you see lots of extremely passable petite 'kathoey' over there. They started hormones at 10 or 12, not at 25 or 35 like here (or at best 16, unless you were extremely lucky).

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Guest Little Sara
She is slowly acknowlodging it. I stated my situation, and now she is making the effort.

She is becoming used to it, without my intervention.

Because people like to do things in thier own time and comfort ranges.

So if something is a little uncomfortable the people need extra time to adjust.

I have found this psycological experiment to be accurate more than once.

Infact the only time I have seen it not work is with people with thier own inner-conflicts, schitzophrenics, psychopaths and people with borderline personalitys.

Example:

Who's more likely to be shot -

a) The person who states thier case in a calm manner finds some sort of reasonable solution.

B) The person who hysterically pleads for thier life or threatens the assaulter.

really think about that one. Imagine you were holding the gun if you must ;)

<3 stacey

I can do a) without abandoning the fight. If you make no effort to recognize me and respect me for who I am. You are no longer in my life. No drama about it, just bye bye. I said 'bye bye' to my paternal family's side. I didn't make a big fuss about it, I just don't call, or see or meet them anymore.

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Guest CottonKiwi

I got over this a while ago but i see sertent words like spiders with no venom. you could say its harmless, it cant hurt you, so dont get mad if i send one your way, but when i see it it still erks me and im gona hope wish and pray that somone would please kill all the nasty spiders.

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I was reading Marie Claire when i came across an article titled

Boys will be Girls: they where talking about mtf transgenders in japan being invited to a school where they would be allowed to be themselves and even wear the girls uniform. what buged me was that they went on to call them "ladyboys" through out the section, and of course the title. It was sad to see such slanted journalism dispite the fact that they made mention of the lack of acceptance most transgenders get. I bugged me so i put the magazine down and picked up Glamour in its place XP

There is a website called Akiko's planet and it's translated. Here's a QUOTE: "The west countries will be strong in a religious thought about psychiatry of the gender". I found it fascinating to see this whole different perspective on transpeople !

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      Wonderful!  This reminds me of a discussion I had with my brother a decade ago.  I said that things expand when they get hotter.  He said, no, they expand when they get colder.  And I had to think about that for a while.  The weird thing is that H20 is special in that when it reaches freezing, it expands.   The pressure makes the cold and then we see the condensation.
    • KatieSC
      I used to have a really good therapist, however, she does not accept health insurance reimbursement fees as they are too low. I had to pay 130 per session. When she decided to jack the rates to 185 per hour, I cut bait. Without a doubt, counseling is very helpful. What concerns me greatly is that we are a vulnerable population. Unfortunately, we can easily be targeted for some pretty high fees. How many of us have been in the situation where our healthcare provider, surgeons, or counselors, have required cash payments? We get jammed as well by the health insurance companies as they often will not pay for items that could be essential to our well-being. It is my contention that our chances of being targeted for violence, death, or harassment, go up when we cannot easily blend in with the female population.    For those of us that are MTF, some of us are blessed with more feminine features, and many of us are not. We get the whammy of a larger skeleton, bigger hands, bigger feet, a beard, a deep voice, and masculine face. It takes a lot for some of us to be able to blend in. My belief is that the better we blend in, the better chance we have of not being targeted. In this, electrolysis, facial feminizing/gender affirming facial surgery, voice/speech therapy with voice feminization/gender affirming voice surgery, and body contouring are all potentially lifesaving. Unfortunately, many of the insurance companies deem the procedures as cosmetic, and yet there is no cosmetic that fixes all of these issues.    If you pay your money, you can get anything you want in this world. The sad reality is that for us, many of these procedures would enhance our lives tremendously, yet we face ongoing battles with our very existence. Yeah, an empathetic therapist helps, but is it just the concept of reasonable empathy at a reasonable cost? When my therapist jacked her rates to 185 per hour, I said enough is enough. Your mileage may vary.
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      I don't think the temperature matters as much.  Think about how gases like CO2 are stored in cylinders, and they are basically the same in summer or winter.  Any gas becomes liquid under enough pressure.  What does matter is the strength of the pressure vessel.  If exposed to excess external heat, pressure increases and can burst a tank or a pipe.  Household propane tanks are often painted white or silver and have safety release valves, because sunlight can heat a tank enough to cause a significant increase in internal pressure, even though the contents remain liquid. 
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      It has been a long week, and I think this weekend is going to be pretty busy.  The high school is having their graduation later today.  Although we don't have any grads in our family this year, my husband is going because he's involved with the school.  And tonight there's the torchlight ceremony for the county cadets who are finishing their program, and the reading of assignments for the new seniors.  One of my stepkids will be a senior this year.  She's talented, and will be assigned a squad leader position.  My husband is really proud of her, and she's well-liked by her peers even though she's very quiet and serious.    I might get to go on a trip to Texas this week.  The storms that hit Houston caused a lot of electrical damage, so no doubt the utilities in that area will be ordering stuff from my husband's company.  When the big hurricane hit Florida in 2022, we made several trips there with badly-needed equipment, and the entire transportation department was involved in the first convoy.  When he travels, I usually want to go along, since 1-on-1 time is kind of rare for us. 
    • Mmindy
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