Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

New Here Hi and True Androgyny explained- It's not a trend or lifestyle


Guest Casey

Recommended Posts

Guest Casey

Hi I am new :) but have spent some time reading some things here and I find it silly that people want to try to be more this/that as if gender is a trend/fad. So this my rant, with swear words changed to other words haha.... :harhar:

If you are trying to be androgynous- you're doing it wrong. :doh1:

I have been androgynous my whole life cos I have been natural/myself my whole life. My whole life when everyone else was "being a boy or girl" (doing what is expected of them based on gender regardless of true feelings) I just did things I enjoyed doing regardless of what society said about things being for boys or girls cos my whole life I realized it's stupid and nothing but a marketing tool idiots fall for. (Well ok I'll admit there are times I have had to fake things to stop people attacking me- those people are jerks.)

Trying to fit an ideal is not what androgyny is. -_-:hairpull:

It is the natural balance between masculine and feminine traits- You can't try to be androgynous, you are androgynous when you STOP trying to be male/female- when you STOP only doing things expected of you cos of your gender and just do what you feel like doing as a person. When you STOP trying to fit in, STOP pretending to be things you are not naturally or like things you really don't in regard to gender roles. That is androgyny, it isn't a damn trend. :banghead: It is freedom of expression as a person without being bound by societal gender roles. B):thumbsup:

Link to comment
  • Root Admin

Hello Casey,

Welcome to Laura's Playground. I agree. You don't have to fit into anyone's category. Just be yourself and do as you see fit. It's your life, after all. :)

MaryEllen

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Welcome to Laura's. "To your own self be true" is as relevant here as anywhere.

Hugs,

Charlize

Link to comment
Guest Casey

Hi thank you both for the welcome. :) I agree wholeheartedly to people just being themselves and being free to express their true personalities. :D

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Hi Casey

Hello and welcome :)

There are many people here trying to find and understand themselves. The terminoligy I think trends just complicate things! It would be difficult to find someone not affected at all (I'm not just talking of trends in trans issues here).

Tell me - Is it really trendy to be here?

Tracy

Link to comment
  • Admin

Welcome to the Playground, Casey. I hope that you find things here that interest you, and post any questions or comments as the mood strikes you. You are welcome to post in any of the forums, and don't forget about our Chat Room, too.

We do ask our new members to please read the site Terms and Conditions, as they help us keep the site safe. A link to the rules is located at the lower right of every page.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

Link to comment

Welcome to Lauras. You'll find a great deal of useful information and likely make friends because of the diversity here.

As for people 'trying' anything, people must find themselves and it's generally not easy. Many want to understand 'where' they fit in, 'what' they are and 'who' they are. I can't speak for all, but I've repressed/struggled all my life. Only now over the last couple of years have I stopped repressing/fighting and am trying to figure out who/what I am. For many people, it's not a simple answer.

It's awesome that you've been comfortable with yourself most if not all of your life, I commend you. However, most people struggle. The 'brainwashing' that occurs in society is a powerful force to fight. What brainwashing? The brainwashing that one must comfortably fit into the 'box' in which was checked at their time of birth.

it's easier today than it was while I was growing up, but it still isn't easy. One only has to read the headlines to see LGBT kids and adults that still commit suicide or the lawmakers currently changing laws that further oppress LGBT members of society. If it were easy, I would be able to tell my friends and family rather than just my wife and gender therapist.

Remember one important thing, we're all here on this website to help support each other and to learn from each other...

Again, welcome to the Playground

*hugs*

-Fiona

Link to comment
  • 1 year later...

I've read this post about 10 times and I'm still having a hard time with it.

I've never belonged anywhere in my entire life. I know I don't really belong in "transgender" since we're handling it differently than probably 99% of people out there. There's me, and there's him, and we compromise on what the body looks like on any given day. When it's him, he's very much a man stuck with a female body and he hates it. When it's me, I mostly do what makes me comfortable, but there are things I wish I could do that I can't get away with because of my family. Because of him, I find myself picking up on his stuff... desiring certain brands of menswear or a certain haircut or leaning away from perfume and more toward unisex scent oils. I sigh and I linger on pages and then I click away. Sometimes I have a cry in the shower because I know that no matter what I do, I'll make someone unhappy.

I read a post like this, and I realize I still haven't found a place to call home. Not really. I'm too weird for anybody. I guess I've been given permission by some in the Two-Spirit section to use that phrase, but I'm not Native American so I'm still unsure I should. I don't want to offend or get in trouble.

There's a "right" way to be androgynous? I've read this post about 10 times and I'm still unclear on what that is. I don't know how to be something other than to be it, or to try new things and see if they feel right. I'm in a confusing place. It's not just me anymore, it's us, and we do the best we can at any given moment. Am I in the wrong forum? Probably. Par for the course.

Link to comment
  • Admin
3 hours ago, TeamEffort said:

There's a "right" way to be androgynous? I've read this post about 10 times and I'm still unclear on what that is.

I cannot really tell myself and I know I have read this before.  I would give it up before you think yourself into a real headache. 

With all I have done in my life so far, all I know is that other people's expectations of me have nothing to do with who I really am, and I have gotten to a point where I  no longer try to meet those expectations or adopt them as my own.  There are places where our basic character needs to be shown, but it need not have any relationship to our personal gender spectrum.  Are you honest in your work?  Are you generous with your time helping others?  Do you encourage others to be better selves no matter what it is?  Do you thoughtfully and intelligently listen to others?  These are character traits that can be performed no matter how we look or present.  In time people will see our inner self, and we will see it as well, and it will be everything good of both male and female and all the rest.  I may lean toward mostly female now, but the few parts of being male that I ever really figured out are here too.  What's a person to do or be??

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   2 Members, 0 Anonymous, 129 Guests (See full list)

    • RaineOnYourParade
    • KymmieL
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.7k
    • Total Posts
      768.7k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,033
    • Most Online
      8,356

    ArtavikenGenderflui
    Newest Member
    ArtavikenGenderflui
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. afraid of self
      afraid of self
    2. Chaidoesart
      Chaidoesart
      (14 years old)
    3. Faith57
      Faith57
    4. Joyce Ann
      Joyce Ann
      (70 years old)
    5. Kelly21121
      Kelly21121
      (56 years old)
  • Posts

    • RaineOnYourParade
      happy trans birthday! I can't speak personally on the subject, but I hope hormones bring you the changes you're looking for <3 
    • MaeBe
      That’s super healthy, to see that something that becomes common has less effect on you and that you are able to decipher these feelings.   Sadly, this trend tends to only deaden good feelings as we tend not to let bad feelings attenuate the same way.   I have noticed less euphoria, but still feel the dysphorias that I have. Sometimes the good sneaks in and reminds me, but often time it’s just me seeing myself in the mirror and being comfortable about what I see when embracing my realized self. I may not get the same buzz I once did, but I don’t feel incongruous when looking at a more “drab” reflection.    Wishing you strength, you are amazing!
    • KayC
      Congratulations! and Happy Trans Birthday @LittleSam! That is such a BIG milestone.  I can still remember walking out of my clinic with my first HRT presciption.  I was on Cloud-9.  Wishing you all the best in the start of your new Journey!
    • missyjo
      maebe thank you I try to be. I thank God for blessings, try to share them, beg forgiveness for my shortcomings n vow to try to do better...2 priests have said no, God doesn't condemn you just for being trans...but apparently evangelicals do   I shall vtry dear thank you  
    • MaeBe
      Meet him at the being good to others part of Christianity. At the heart of it, there are excellent tenets of the faith. Those that condemn are judging, Jesus would have us be selfless; stone casting and all that. Are you a good person? Are you putting good into the world? If your gender is an issue for God, let God judge. In the mortal realm, let your actions be heard. 
    • missyjo
      and just fi sweeten it..I'm catholic n he hasn't been for years..he's evangelical..whatever that is
    • MaeBe
      Let’s stick to cite-able fact. Most of my posts have been directly in relation to LGBTQ+ rights as it pertains to P2025 and I have drawn direct links between people, their quotes, and their agenda. I have made reference to the cronyism that P2025 would entail as well, by gutting, not cutting, broad swathes of government and replacing it with “conservative warriors” (I can get you the direct quote, but rest assured it’s a quote). All this does is constantly force the cogs to be refitted, not their movement. To say that agencies have directly defied a President is a bit much, the EPA did what Trump told them to do at the direct harm to the environment, the department of agriculture did the same by enacting the administrations forced move to KC which decimated the USDA.      How about Betsy DeVoss for Education? Or Bannon for anything? What about the revolving Chief of Staff position that Trump couldn’t stay filled? Or the Postmaster General, who did much to make the USPS worse?   Let’s not mix politics with racism, sexism, or any other ism. Because Trump made mainly white, male, appointments—many of them not, arguably, people fit for service—or unwilling to commit to term. I can argue this because, again, he’s up for election and will do what he did before (and more of the same, his words).   Please delineate how the selected diversity appointments have negatively affected the US, other than being black, women, or queer? Representation matters and America benefits when its people are inspired and empowered.
    • missyjo
      ok ladies if I've asked this before I'm sorry please delete    ok so I have 2vsiblings..one is overly religious..n preachy n domineering..so he keeps trying to talk with me n I'd like to..but he always falls into this all knowing all wise domineering preachy thing tjaz tells me he's praying for christ to beat Satan for control of my soul..which is doomed to hell bc I'm transgender    I'd like to try to have a civil conversation n try to set him strait n gsin a cooperation n real conversation    any suggestions?
    • missyjo
      abigail darling what about extensions or a wig? be brave n hang in there  to thine own self be true  good luck
    • RaineOnYourParade
      When I first started figuring things out, I got a lot more euphoria. Every time a friend would use he/they pronouns for me, I'd get this bubbly feeling, and seeing myself look masculine made me really happy. Dysphoric state felt more normal, so I guess I noticed the pain it caused me less.   Now, it's more just that my pronouns and such things feel natural, and dysphoria is a lot stronger -- I know what's natural, so experiencing the opposite is more jarring than everything. The problem is, most of my natural experiences are from friends, and I rarely get properly gendered by strangers, much less by my family. I've found myself unable to bind in months due to aches, colds,, and not wanting to risk damage.    It partially makes me want to go back to the beginning of my journey, because at least then I got full euphoria. I'm pretty sure it'll be like this until I medically transition, or at the very least get top surgery (you know all those trans dudes online with tiny chests? Not me, unfortunately). It's a bit depressing, but at least I know that, eventually, there's a way out of this.
    • RaineOnYourParade
      Major mood, right here ^^^    I've listened to Lumineers to a long time (a major portion of it by osmosis via my mom), so that is almost painfully relatable
    • RaineOnYourParade
      As for getting a button-up/formal pants suit, you can try to talk to her more -- Cis women in tuxes have worn tuxes in recent years, after all, (for example, Zendaya) so it can still be a relatively safe topic. For jumpsuits, I'd recommend going with a simple one with a blazer, if you can -- this'll make it look overall more masculine. There's a lot of good brands, but going for one without a lot of extra glitz on it will make it look less feminine under a blazer. I don't know many specific brands though since I usually just get my stuff from chain stores, sorry :<   When it comes to your hair, if you can't cut it, you can look up tutorials on fluffing it up instead. If you can pull it off, it can look a lot shorter and more androgynous instead!
    • RaineOnYourParade
      As far as I'm aware, he wasn't -- he just sometimes wore skirts, which was why it was a question in the first place.   In my opinion, part of that is because of the way press spares attention on issues like that. As a bit of a true crime nut and what I see: Child predator cases' (and cases of a sexual nature in general) press focus on those with an AMAB perpetrator generally, and very rarely are AFAB perpetrators given much press time or even getting tried due to a whole bunch of issues I'm not gonna get into. Because of this, when you see these types of cases and a boy is the victim, it's almost always a queer person who is the one who committed a crime that gets press. Therefore, with the amount of cases seen with this type of perpetrator (and due to the fact "99% of queer people are not sexual criminals" doesn't attract eyes), the human brain can kind of naturally makes an association with it. It's not right, but it's also a fault I think falls partially on the media.   That's all my opinion, though!   This is extra confusing to me, as a feminine man is usually viewed as gay. If someone is refusing the acknowledge the existence of trans people, then gay would be the societal connection that comes after, I think. So, that sorta implies that trans women wouldn't be interested in women in the first place by those assumptions? Of course, trans lesbians exist (most trans women I know like women, actually), but it's a little ridiculous to me that people will deny trans people's existence, call all feminine AMAB people gay, and say that trans people are looking to peep all in the same breath.   Wow, this was a lot longer of a response than I was planning to write--
    • Abigail Genevieve
      For one thing, the practice of putting into office wholly unqualified people simply because of racial, sexual or national characteristics.  It is no accident that Karine is a Haitian immigrant, Black and lesbian.  Kamala Harris is a Black female. Pete Buttigieg is gay.  Often you find that Biden explicitly stated that this is why he hired them, not because of competence, but because they checked so many boxes on his little list.  It makes a mockery of people and is a disservice to the US. 
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I am not sure why people are in favor of unaccountable agencies with bloated budgets and wasteful spending. 
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...