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Stressing the stress test


Charlize

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Tomorrow i'll be on the treadmill (literally). i've been there before. Starts off slow and then it speeds up. They raise the platform until you are running up hill.

It sounds so easy but with a heart condition it can be difficult. My new GLBT "friendly" doctor wants me to do at least 10 minutes without any symptoms before he will clear me for surgery.

It does stress me. I've been waiting for a simple orchiectomy for close to 2 years. My heart has made for some setbacks. Perhaps this road will be easy and i'll just rise above the treadmill like Rocky on the steps of the Philly Art Museum. Now Charlize don't stress to start!

Hugs,

Charlize

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Oh, I so hope that works out for you. Like you said yourself, don't stress out, just do it.

One thing that helps me is to focus on little bits, like ok, 10% done, made a good start, then, 25%, half way to half way, etc. Just to keep mind mind off the biggie.

Eat right tonite, get a good nights sleep, and breathe!

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Hugs Charlize!

Maybe some mind over body visualization will help? Can't hurt. Just picture yourself breezing through the test with no problems. It can be amazing what visualization can do sometimes.

I'll be thinking of you and sending lots of positive thoughts your way

Hugs

Johnny

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Thinking of you this morning Charlize. Please let us know how everything goes.

Hugs

Johnny

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Thanks all of you for pulling for me. !0 minutes can be a long time and it was but i think i did OK. I got to the target heart rate of 130 after just 10 minutes.

They did an echo before and after as well as electrocardiograms. I must admit i am exhausted. When i was racing bikes this would have been nothing but due to the way i abused my body and the toll it has taken on my heart i was just glad to make it into the 4th level of speed and incline. I'm due to see the doctor on the 27th of this month and hopefully i may finally get the clearance i need for surgery.

Two things about the process that i will mention both here and to my doctor. The staff and nurses were lovely they were all women and i felt at home. I had my breasts exposed for the dollar and also to attach all kinds of wires. My girls aren't huge but they are certainly visible as is my name and one assumes my gender on their charts. I thought i heard the wrong pronouns twice. If they plan to have a GLBTQ practice they had better work on that. I'm comfortable in myself in those situations but many are not.

Love you all. Now for a nap. I deserve it.

Hugs,

Charlize

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Well, maybe now it will be downhill!! Here is hoping for you!!

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I got a call from the nurse today and it appears that i may have failed the test. My heart was not getting the blood flow it needed even though i got through the required time and had a high enough heart rate. The doctor was out of town and will call me Monday. it appears that i might have to go back into the hospital for another procedure. How those procedures can be less difficult than a simple orchiectomy on local anesthetic is beyond me.

I must admit that i cried and am disappointed. The nurse said i shouldn't exercise too much on the farm and i'm not quite sure how i'll manage that. i'm a good girl though and will slow down a bit. Until the call i had been feeling great thinking that having done the test i was cleared to go a bit harder.

Well it is a good life and i'm here enjoying it. Had a great AA meeting tonight with a great topic of how fear and love (faith) are related. Thank you all for helping me to deal with my fear and for the love you have given me that provided help.

Hugs,

Charlize

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Charlize, I'm so sorry to hear that it may not be going the way you hoped- ofttimes medical logic makes no sense to me, it does seem like it should be simple. Here's hoping Monday brings better news.

Our AA topic tonite was gratitude, and i am glad you are still finding gratitude where you can

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Hugs Charlize. I so admire your strength and attitude. You are an amazing woman who inspires those whose lives you touch. May Monday bring brighter, better news

Hugs

Johnny

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  • 2 weeks later...
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Well it seems that i'll be in the hospital next week. They haven't scheduled the procedure yet nor do they know what will be entailed. The one thing i know is that i'll be waiting at least another 6 months to have an orchiectomy. My heart is showing an area of lack of blood flow that could lead to another heart attack. They may do stents but open heart was discussed as well. I mentioned to my doctor that at least this time i wouldn't be detoxing in the recovery room. Having DTs and audio and visual hallucinations made that time into a true hell.

I've got to get some work dome on the farm before i go. At this point i can work even if slowly. Afterwards there will be many weight restrictions etc. I'm tired and a bit depressed. I am so fortunate simply to be alive and living a life i had only dreamed of.

These things are as they should be and i need to find peace in acceptance. It is a bit hard at times so i also have to forgive myself for the tears of self pity i feel. They are mixed with tears for the beauty of the world.

Thanks for you support and love.

Hugs,

Charlize

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Be thinking of ya Charlize

Best wishes next week

Hugs

Cynthia -

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You're in my thoughts, Girl. :friends:

I hope everything goes well for you next week, Charlize.

Guess you'll need your helper more than you thought.

Huggs, :wub:

Joann

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  • 2 weeks later...
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This has been a bit of a rough week for me as i wait for some communication from my cardiologist. Maybe i'll have to put an orchiectomy away for a long time. The cath. showed a 50% blockage in an artery known as the widow maker. There was nothing they could do about it with stents or angioplasty. Perhaps i'm a candidate for a second open heart surgery and bypass. I don't know and maybe that's the worst thing. Open heart was rough the first time. I can accept that. If they can't do anything i'll have to accept that as well. I realize with my history my life span will not be very long.

I would certainly like to know and am waiting for a call as i slowly get work done on the farm.

Thank you all for being here. It helps me get out of myself and the self pity into which could easily consume my day.

Hugs,

Charlize

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I hope you find out soon Charlize!

Whatever they do I hope all goes well

Thinking of you

Tracy x

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