Did You Feel Different When You Were Younger?

[Guest Roberta-Belinda]

Did anyone else feel that like myself that they were different to the other boys when you were a child and a teenager?. From the age of two definitely felt different. Although I am probably not on the transsexual spectrum I have always felt that I should have been a girl. Indeed before I was born my Mother wanted a girl after previously having two sons. My twelve years of schooldays were particularly difficult. From Infants school onwards I always envied the girls in my class and wanted to be one. High school days were the worst. From the age of 12 all the girls in my class would wear tights over their knee socks and I really wish I could have done the same. When I saw them outside school it was even worse seeing them in their pretty dresses and tights.

When I was younger I wasn't a hundred per cent effeminate but not particularly masculine either. All the boys in my class would pick up on this and call me a girl. At the time I made a pretence at protesting but in retrospect I think I rather liked it especially as I had some very deep crushes on some of the boys in my school. One of them said that I probably went home and dreamed about Donny Osmond. They will never know that the was actually true. When I first crossdressed in my Mother's skirt and tights I would drool over pictures of Donny whilst listening to his records.

I was teased further when I took up shorthand and typing in a class of girls. The boys would tease me without mercy again on I protested but deep down I really liked it. One male classmate memorably told me that I wanted to take up shorthand and typing so I could be an attractive secretary in a mini skirt and knee boots and be very attractive to young male colleagues. Little did he know that that was exactly what I desired. I certainly did not want to be a very *friendly* person by any means but I would have relished being a typical 70;s dolly bird who had have loved exposing nylon clad legs to young male colleagues.. Girl classmates always regarded as effeminate and said I did not act like a normal boy.

In adulthood when I started working in a office at the age of 22, I was still quite envious of my female colleagues, but I repressed them and sought solace in dressing age appropriate in the privacy of my bedroom.

Girls, I would love to hear if you had similar experiences.

Thanks for listening, I have told very few people about these experiences.

Love,

Belinda

[Guest Raya]

Oh, I sure did. Still do, but now I know that different is good!

Where did the fear come from, that made different bad (then)?

How can I lose the fear, and get that awesome self confidence?

I am working on it, but I want it all, now.

[gennee]

I felt that I was different but I never tied it to gender or sexuality. I always believe that there was some great deed that I was destined to do. I was a typical male who enjoyed typical male activities. There were things that maybe could have being an inkling to the future; I liked flowers and the color pink (my brother can't stand pink).

I never thought much of it. When I began the questioning phase, I began see some things in different light. I was shocked when it was revealed to me that I was a cross dresser (had just started dressing). I came out as a cd several weeks later and then transgender a few weeks after that. It all finally clicked.

[Guest brenda lee]

Sweetie, I too felt that I was different as a child .I still prefer female friends over male friends. I tend to bond with females better.Even as an adult I was put down for being fem . LOL Brenda Lee

[Guest Wanda Michelle]

I've felt different from other boys since I was around 4 or 5. I always wished I was a girl (still do 50+ years later). I'd go to bed at night and hope by some miracle I'd wake up as a girl.

Growing up I did the normal male things, played sports up through college and was seen as a typical guy. No one knew my secret. I hid my desires and became girly whenever I had the chance (just like now). I'd come home from sports or maybe a date and dress up afterwards (and every other chance I had).

I imagine if I'd had the support available now back then, things would have been much different. As I've gotten older I feel the same as I did when I was young but it's even stronger now.

Hugs, ?

Wanda

[Guest honeynocturnal]

I didn;t really feel different from other boys until I hit puberty. That was about 2-3 years after most boys started, I was always a late bloomer! But I realized right away that my sexuality was not limited to hetereosexual desires.

When I was a teen and in my early 20's, I would fantasize about magically turning into a girl and making nocturnal visits to the male friends I had crushes on. I thought it only wishful thinking at the time...like the girl said, if only I knew then what I know now!

I always felt somewhat feminine, always wanted to have long hair and have always been proud of my body, and a bit of an exhibitionist...

Everything has happened kinda had to happen for me to be the person I am now, and I have no regrets. I did what I had to do and lived through it to reach this extraordinary time of my life. I really do feel blessed.

[Guest Raya]

...I did what I had to do and lived through it to reach this extraordinary time of my life. I really do feel blessed.

Yes, exactly!

To honestly accept myself, and plan such a life changing transistion, has been incredible growth

[tracy_j]

I realised at an early age that I was different to other boys in that I did not reject girls, the way they dressed or their games as would most boys. I was happier when with girls and did think from time to time that there was no point to boys. I didn't think the same way, didn't like a lot of their games (I generally hate football although love motorsports).

As I got older I liked the clothes of the time (short tunics and miniskirts plus tights in vivid colours - I grew up in the sixties lol) but it is only recently I have worn any of them. It was (and probably still is) more important to me to feel right; dressing right being important but less so. There was a period from the late sixties to late seventies when I had long hair but that was fairly common with males then (similarly wearing knee high boots and stacks when in fashion). I remember for a good number of years wearing almost exclusively scarlet trousers when not at work. I was well known for them. Not particularly female but seldom worn by males locally either. It was at this time that I openly wore my first female clothes - a pair of lemon yellow cords that my sister did not like. They were obviously female as the fastenings were opposite sided but they did not last long as with my lifestyle at the time (lots of rough tracking on motorcycles) was a bit heavy on them lol.

I did occasionaly be likened to a girl but this was generally from other girls rather than boys. I just got picked on, probably more for being different rather than feminine, by boys. Over the years I have spent time socialising / aligning alternately with groups of males and females although I was very much a biker and did all my own maintenance so was looked to by many males for advice / help. This meant a bias towards male company which in ways was good but often didn't feel ideal.

Now I am trying to be more openly me!

Tracy