1st Time going out in public

[Guest TinaG]

I went out in public dressed for the first time and I was just terrified. I have anxiety issues as it is but this time I was really scared. Before this I had only dressed at our support group meetings, and I dressed there because of my home situation. So I had never walked outside dressed.

My support group goes out to dinner together once a month so I figured it was time for me to get out there. I went down with two girls from our group and they tried to calm me down. As we walked into the restaurant I was sure everyone was looking at me and snickering.

There were already about 8 people there when we arrived and of course they were very welcoming. The restaurant staff was also very welcoming. ( Our group had been coming to this place for over a year). I was able to relax and we had a wonderful time. I did make sure I did not have to use the restroom, not there yet.

Walking out I felt self-conscious, but not so scared. I felt surprised how good I felt afterwards. It was so wonderful to be able be myself and I felt some kind of sense of fulfillment.

I know I don't exactly pass right now; I am a work in progress. I am trying to get to the point where I don't care about what people think about me. I can't tell you how good I felt afterwards and I know I will get more confidence if I keep going out.

I would never had done this without the help and encouragement of my support group.

I can't wait until next month.

[Guest Kenna Dixon]

Congratulations!

It does get better and easier the more you do it.

I still avoid dealing with the restroom issue if possible, but when I've absolutely needed to go I've never had any problems.

[Guest honeynocturnal]

Congratulations! True courage is to be terrified of something, and do it anyway.

I have a ways to go before I'm ready for that step. I thought about Halloween, but I don't think I want to wait that long.

Funny because I have never particularly cared what strangers think of me. I'm much more concerned with the reaction of the people I know & care about.

[Charlize]

Tina, Welcome to Laura's. I remember going out with a big group of other girls after a support group meeting. I was certainly scared. Later i was asked to travel to a gay bar not too far from my home by two trans girls. At the time i didn't understand their talk of hormones etc. By the time i found Laura's i was pretty bold in public but being here and seeing a therapist helped me a great deal to find a path where i was comfortable.

Step by step the fear went away but it took a lot of little steps. Glad your able to start finding your path.

Hugs,

Charlize

[Cyndee]

Congats Tina, it's a wonderful feeling, your post recaptures those moments after the meeting when it sinks in and you realize "YOU DID IT" !!

It will continue to get easier and easier, until one day you realize, it's just real life and the whole world awaits !

Hugs

Cyndi -

[Guest Ladyinker]

Very Brave Tina! I admire your courage.

[VickySGV]

The first time is the hardest and the most memorable, in time the days out do blurr into each other and become a bit more ordinary until at last it is "just how GOOD life IS". Even conversation becomes more ordinary sounding and you go to a restaurant because of the food and not the TG friendly aspect of it. Beware of one item though, if you are an adrenalin addict from the stress of going out, you will find yourself going into more and more places just to keep the high up, and you do not want those places to be truly dangerous.

[StephanieVikingGirl]

Hi Tina,

Welcome to the playground! Yep, that took great courage, congrats. I well remember the fear, and thrill also to some extent, when I first went out in public as myself. It was on Halloween last year, and I had been on hormones for nearly four months at that point. For me, and YMMV this first time was so successful that I went out more, and more as myself. By November 7th I was almost full time, all except for work in fact. My boss found out that I was transitioning twenty days later at a party for a co-worker, uh kinda a long story on how that happened, but oh well another time for that. So I just thought I might let you know that there is always a chance that things could move swiftly, I certainly found myself living full time sooner than I ever expected. In any case, I think you are very brave, I didn't go out in a skirt until I was already male failing at a fairly quick rate. Everyone's journey is different, I just thought I would share mine, thanks. Be safe, I live in California, and I don't think Ohio is quite the same as here. Congrats again.

hugs,

Stephanie

[Guest TinaG]

Thanks for all of the encouragement and welcoming me to Laura's. It is nice to be able to share with people that understand.