Last Night

[Charlize]

Last night was my home groups 66th anniversary. It is one of the oldest meetings in the area. We use the gym at the church for the celebration and get quite a crowd attending. Nothing like free food and coffee to bring in alcoholics. The room was set up with tables all facing the front of the room and the 10 home group members facing the room of guests.

After the meal and some wonderful time of talking to other alcoholics i love but rarely see we start the ceremony by giving out our coins in order of time in sobriety. I have 8 years and was given my coin by a cis female who first greeted me when i joined. She has 9 years and i was so tickled when she shared that it was great to have another woman in the group.(me)My first sponsor, TJ, is in a wheelchair having become paralyzed on a trip out to get more booze on a motorcycle. He has 24 years of sobriety.

The speaker started to share his experience, strength and hope when suddenly TJ had what seemed a massive heart attack. We got the rescue squad quickly and he is in the hospital. This morning i have not heard whether he is still with us but i do know he wasn't breathing on his on.

I am devastated in many ways. He was always hard on me but gave me so much help along the way. He never understood my transition and even used my old name and gender as he shared with the anniversary group. I also love the man as without him i doubt i'd be alive today. He was the first person to whom i was open about my gender issues.

I can only pray now. The rooms of AA are so filled with life and that unfortunately isn't easy. In 8 years i've lost other dear friends to death or sometimes the addiction itself. Thank you for letting me share.

Hugs,

Charlize

[Guest suden]

Charlize- I can not know what is in his heart but I would hope that after 24 years of finding help and friends at AA I would find comfort in being with other I know at such a moment.

on May 9th I was with a good friend and mentor ( a 82 year old transwoman) we had spend the day talking and as we were saying good by she had a seizure! I thought she died in my arms! then she started to breath as the amblance can!

She is better today thank god but what a long night. I'm still having trouble thinking back on that night she remimbers none of it. I feel for you and I look at the blessing side of everthing in life.

I'd give you a big hug If I could ! Eden

[Guest Raya]

Ohhhh.

Charlize, I feel for you, sober hugs and a shoulder for you.

I will be praying for you and Tj.

[VickySGV]

May there be healing for you and TJ. Death in my own belief is a continuation of life, and not an end. On our side of life, while we will miss the person who has "crossed over" their life continues in us. In your conscience, let your friend be free from all pain and able to dance in a place where JOY cannot be lost. Keep up the 12th step in your friend's memory and the healing will be greater than either of you could find in your dreams.

[Guest Some_Geek]

I'm so sorry that this has happened to your friend, Charlize! My thoughts are with you and with his loved ones.

[Guest]

My thoughts are with you and TJ, Charlize.

Huggs and a shoulder for you.

Joann

[JJ]

I'm so sorry this has happened Chalize. my thoughts are with you and your friend

Hugs

Johnny

[Guest Opal]

My thoughts are also with you.

Huggs,

Opal

[Michelle 2010]

Thanks for sharing. My first sponsor taught me how to live and when I was five years sober taught me how to die. I told him I loved him when he was in hospice, the first man I ever said that to. The relationships we form in aa are one of the gifts of sobriety, right? Hope your friend is ok...

Michelle

[Charlize]

I just received the news that TJ died late last night. He helped so many and was surrounded by many who loved him doing what he loved best when he was last conscious. At one point when he heard through the AA grapevine about my speaking for the trans* community's need for a pamphlet he was happy and said: "God has a mission for you as well." That was quite a statement because as a devout Catholic he was never fully able to accept my transition. He was certainly given a mission and spent his sober days helping others through his bravery in facing life paralyzed, sober and fully involved in the program. I will miss him deeply. He helped me to comprehend "patience, tolerance and love", as well as serenity and acceptance.

Hugs,

Charlize

[Guest]

Condolences on the loss of a dear friend, Charlize.

Huggs,

Joann

[Guest Opal]

Perhaps he was more accepting than he let on. My condolences as well, Charlize.

Huggs,

Opal

[VickySGV]

May legs and spirit stilled on Earth dance in the freedom of Heaven for him, and may his love and service continue in you who knew him in your sober lives.