Went to my first TG support group last night (long)

[CiCi_73]

Hi everyone,

I have had quite an interesting 24 hours and I wanted to bring it all here because things are starting to become much clearer.

Last night I went to my first TG support group meeting. I was so nervous, heart wanting to leap out of my chest, but I took those difficult steps and kept my butt glued to the seat even though everything in my shy little self was screaming to run.

The group seemed mostly about those in transition, or thinking about transition, or those who'd transitioned already. But no matter, they were all so awesome - very welcoming, very open about themselves, and very receptive to new members (me). Once I'd introduced myself and gave a brief statement about where I was at (not such a good place) I felt less anxious. I'm sure it was the warm reception I received from the group that helped.

So the group ran a couple of hours while everyone discussed their views on the topic, and afterward I met a few of the members (actually, I tried to quietly slink away but someone walked up and engaged me in conversation - thankfully). All in all a very cool experience.

But what was equally as important as the support and potential new friends was the insight I gained into myself. After listening to everyone and where they were coming from I realized that I am squarely in the crossdresser group. All the wishy-washy stuff I put myself through over the last couple of weeks about what my crossdressing might mean about my gender identity was just confusion on my part. After listening to those who truly are TG I realized my internal experience doesn't come close to theirs. I have no wish to give up the other guy. There are things I like about him (on my way home I was loving my new tires ). I just like to dress up en femme. I like myself like this - this gender fluidity - and I personally feel that I get to have the best of both worlds. Probably why most people don't care for CDers - we get to enjoy male privelege as well as sexy lingerie.

It has also helped me clear my mind reading this book "My Husband Betty" that my wife bought when I told her about myself. The author went to great lengths to talk to quite a few crossdressers and compiled much of their experiences, and I see so much of myself in those pages. In fact, she makes some statement to the effect of "beware the crossdresser who has repressed his desires for many years and finally accepts himself" (paraphrased, probably poorly). My desire is no longer restrained, which explains why I want to dress all the time now (when I'm home). I absolutely love it. How could I have not seen this for so many years? Talk about blinders!

Anyway, I just wanted to send some happy thoughts to others on the playground. Some of my posts since joining I think seemed clouded by all my uncertainty, and it was high time I returned some of the happiness you all give all the tiime.

Thanks for listening (reading).

Courtney (in a cute floral print dress and heels!)

[Charlize]

I remember reading that book. I'm glad you had a good time at the support group. Simply being ourselves can make us feel better. Glad you are finding some peace with yourself. That is all any of us can ask for.

Hugs,

Charlize

[Guest ErIca W]

Hi everyone,

I have had quite an interesting 24 hours and I wanted to bring it all here because things are starting to become much clearer.....

But what was equally as important as the support and potential new friends was the insight I gained into myself. After listening to everyone and where they were coming from I realized that I am squarely in the crossdresser group. All the wishy-washy stuff I put myself through over the last couple of weeks about what my crossdressing might mean about my gender identity was just confusion on my part.......

I have no wish to give up the other guy. There are things I like about him (on my way home I was loving my new tires ). I just like to dress up en femme. I like myself like this - this gender fluidity - and I personally feel that I get to have the best of both worlds.....

Courtney (in a cute floral print dress and heels!)

Hi Courtney,

I totally relate to your discovery of clarity about yourself as a CD and the relief that realization brings as I have had a similar epiphany in the last week.

I went to a meet up at a local Trans social club. Nice folks and a joy to be able to hang out with others who understand and see dressing as no big deal. It was also the first time I dressed other than in the house. Not full public made it a safe place, but much less lonely than behind closed doors. A very pleasant experience. ☺️

There were ladies who were at every point on the Trans spectrum. It really helped me see that I too am gender fluid and enjoy the multiple aspects of myself including my male aspects. I had worried that might be politically incorrect in this group but everyone was supportive of my finding what worked for me and made me happy. Recognizing who I am and what that means for me is a tremendous relief.

So I celebrate with you, and although only under dressed at the moment I revel in the memory of stepping outside in a protected parking lot on a sunny day and having the breezes gently float my chiffon dress against me. I look forward to attending the club again and socializing, en femme with like minded folks, some time soon. ?

Congratulations again!

Wish I could visit with you in your floral print dress as I'm sure it is adorable.

Hugs,

Erica

[CiCi_73]

I went to a meet up at a local Trans social club. Nice folks and a joy to be able to hang out with others who understand and see dressing as no big deal. It was also the first time I dressed other than in the house. Not full public made it a safe place, but much less lonely than behind closed doors. A very pleasant experience. ☺️

I would love to attend the next meeting dressed. There are quite a few major logistics I have to think about if I'm going to pull that off, though. Like how to get from the house to the car without the neighbors noticing anything strange. But it might work. I'll keep y'all posted. Thanks for being so supportive.

Love to all,

Courtney

[Carolyn Marie]

It's so great that your first group experience turned out so well, Courtney. It really is an eye opener how many different types there are within that big umbrella called Transgender. You certainly belong there, and as far as I'm concerned, are no less worthy to be there than any one else. I used to sit on a TG Advisory Board, and it always irked me that the only folks on it were transitioned trans folk.

I hope that your future sessions provide even greater insights and adventures.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[Guest ErIca W]

I would love to attend the next meeting dressed. There are quite a few major logistics I have to think about if I'm going to pull that off, though. Like how to get from the house to the car without the neighbors noticing anything strange. But it might work. I'll keep y'all posted. Thanks for being so supportive.

Love to all,

A

Courtney

Hi again Courtney,

The club I went to allowed one to change on site, admittedly for an additional fee. I suppose the fee is to cover washing towels and consumables, none of which I used, but it was worth it as it solved the logistics dilemma you mention. I considered at one point going to a Starbucks or equivalent with one person bathrooms and changing there. Would not want to occupy the bathroom long enough to apply makeup but could deal with that separately.

It was really nice to visit with others as Erica and I hope you find a solution to your logistics challenge. ?

Hugs,

Erica

[Charlize]

Courtney i remember underdressing and then changing in the car. It was cramped and awkward but achievable. As far as makeup you can use the car mirror or do a better job in the ladies room at the meeting. Neighbors are certainly a consideration that bothered me at one point.

Hugs,

Charlize

[Guest]

My first TG meeting I was completely awe

drab. I did learn that I can do this! I only first be myself, next to follow my heart. I also was well received.

Next meeting I took my Ex for fun and support. Each meeting I dressed more fem. The group met at an LGBT church, many changed clothes at the church. I was blown away when the Pastors stopped by to welcome us and told us we could safely use whichever restroom we felt most comfortable in.

I was lost, I was gone! I sat in the Lady's room in happy tears. I knew he was leaving and Jody was emerging from her chrysalis. Game changing event! In a whirlwind spin I lost the male act like the breeze of a dust devil he just swept away... My years of dressing were my prelude, finally I am home!

I'm glad your first experience went very well. Welcome to sisterhood! Hug. JodyAnn

[CiCi_73]

Thanks, everyone, for your encouraging words. I'm so glad I found LP.

And thanks for the tips on working out my logistic issues, they have given me some good ideas about how I might pull it off. I've got another month before the next meeting so I'm sure, with all your help and support, I'll find a way to pull it off.

[Giggle] I just had this vision of myself running out of the house to my car in a trench coat carrying a duffle bag. In August, in the mid-atlantic. I'd be better off cruising out of here in jeans and a cute top, I think I'd draw less attention to myself.

Love to all,

Courtney

[Guest]

I started dressing for my Sunday LGBT AA meeting. I did just that. I wore a long coat and had my wig and purse in a shopping bag.

Come spring, the coat had to go and I was tired of hiding. I got ready for the meeting and was dressed to the nines! Dress, nylons, stilettos and full makeup, wig hat on my head. I peered out the front door at our little cul du sac. Wonderful! Not a soul in sight. I made it almost to my car.

Oh no! The neighbor's garage door opened and my girlfriend from across the street backed out. She rolled down her window and smiled. "Wow! You really clean up nicely. I do get a resentment when a man has prettier legs than I do!" Beet red, I thanked her. She giggled and drove away. I smiled through happy tears all the way to the meeting.

A few days later in conversation I told her the whole story. She commented that many times through the years, she couldn't put her finger on it, she felt like she was talking to another women. "It all makes sense now, I was!" she said. I was beaming, busted out in tears of joy! "Gee Jody, you really are a girl!"

I never get tired of that phrase, I hear that from so many girlfriends. I am grateful to always being treated as a lady in sisterhood. Most likely you will too. Hug. JodyAnn

[VickySGV]

I'd be better off cruising out of here in jeans and a cute top, I think I'd draw less attention to myself.

There you go!! That's how I attend support group meetings, and I am the co-moderator for the group!! I might add that mine is out on the California desert, some days I do shorts too. (Don't up-load THAT photo Vicky, its against T&C.)

[LavaPrincess]

Well I'm glad u had a nice first group now I would like to find one thats next to were I live

[Guest]

Congratulations Courtney. Reading your post has made me wonder if I should attend such a group. I am not entirely sure where I stand in the gender spectrum. Having read up about transsexuals I don't think I identify with them. From early childhood I have always had the desire to be a girl but I have never actually believed that I am a Woman. It's quite likely that I am gender fluid. When I am dressed as Belinda I really feel like a Woman but I doubt if I would consider gender reassignment. I finally accepted my crossdressing desires four years ago after coming out to my wife for the second time. On this second occasion my wife caught me dressed up in full skirt, blouse, tights and heels. She was not entirely happy but she listened and to certain extent sympathised. Although I don't dress in front of her I am no longer riddled with guilt. As my wife has to spend the weekends away from home looking after her Mother I really enjoy my time as Belinda. I have extended dressing sessions that go on until the wee small hours of the morning. Whatever I am though I love being Belinda to little bits. Although I am not exactly ugly as a man I feel much more attractive and sexier as a Woman. Embracing my feminine side has done me nothing but good. I no longer feel anxious and afraid.