Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Gender Neutral Pronouns


Guest Conrí

Recommended Posts

Guest Conrí

Here is a "table" of pronouns. The table wouldn't actually paste correctly, so I colour coded them to make it easier to distinguish. The first two are the male and female pronouns, which are included as a reference to understand the sequence. The rest are gender neutral pronouns.

Subject Object Poss. Adjective Poss. Pronoun Reflexive Notes

he him his his himself masculine

she her her hers herself feminine

ze/sie hir hir hirs hirself neutral

zie zir zir zirs zirself neutral

ey em eir eirs eirself neutral

they them their theirs theirself/themself singular they; neutral

Out of these gender neutral pronouns, I prefer zie. With hir the pronunciation could be too similiar to her, which sort of defeats the purpose of being gender neutral. They singular is also pretty good, and many people already use it that way, but it can get confusing with plural or singular they.

Link to comment
Guest Sable Dove

I like the Spivak pronouns (ey, em, eir, etc.), though I often find myself just defaulting to masculine pronouns. This is mostly because I'm lazy and think we should just decide to use male or female pronouns for everyone, rather than introduce more and more pronouns. I choose masculine over feminine because, as I said, I'm lazy and the male pronouns average out to be shorter than female ones.

Similar to how I despise the title "Ms" because rather than just use Mrs. or Miss for everyone, regardless of marital status, we decided that a new, similar-but-different pronoun was necessary. A lot of this is personal taste. I don't say "actress" because their sex doesn't have anything to do with their career. They're an actor, and they're female. Two separate things.

To summarize my rant: I'd rather we just use either just masculine or just feminine pronouns for everyone, regardless of sex and gender. Failing that, Spivak pronouns get my vote.

...Though using gender-specific pronouns based on our own gender would be interesting...

I just can't stop blathering tonight.

Link to comment
Guest April63

Problem is, is that English? The first two rows are definitely English, the next three are not, and the last is improper. While it sounds degrading, the real gender neutral in English is:

it, its, itself

The "singular they" seems to be very popular among people now, but I don't use it. It's one of my "pet peeves". They are plural! lol

April

Link to comment
Guest OneOutOfnOne

April, the pronouns ze, zie, and ey are indeed meant to be used in English, though they were all invented relatively recently. I don't like using them because they stand out too much, and sound contrived, which, honestly, they are.

The singular 'they' gets my vote. It was widely accepted in the English language for centuries, appears multiple times in Shakespeare, and wasn't considered improper by English textbooks until the 1960s.

Link to comment
Guest Elizabeth K

Everything other than the gender specific seem somehow contrived. That's an older person speaking.

However, my grandmother used 'yes mam'm' to everyone and no person ever seemed to misunderstand. Prior tp political correctess 'he' was used to describe humans, either gender. Same with "man."

'God creted man in His own image," type expressions. [GOD is a neutral gender GOD, in reality.]

I do wish there was neutral set of pronouns in English. Perhaps the male ones should be rethought of as neutral and new pronouns invented for males,

Link to comment
Guest Sable Dove
I do wish there was neutral set of pronouns in English. Perhaps the male ones should be rethought of as neutral and new pronouns invented for males,

Why would we need to make new male pronouns? Ideally, everyone would use the neutral pronouns, and masculine and feminine pronouns would fall out of use anyways.

...Ideally.

Link to comment
Guest April63

While ze, zie, and ey may have been made for English, they are not English. Not in the dictionary. Perfect way to fail an English exam.

April

Link to comment
Guest Conrí
While ze, zie, and ey may have been made for English, they are not English. Not in the dictionary. Perfect way to fail an English exam.

April

Well, they are new words, which is why they aren't in the dictionary. It also doesn't help that no one can agree on a single set to use - another reason they aren't in the dictionary.

But, since the English neutral pronoun ("it") IS degrading, we need a new word, re-accept "they" as a singular in addition to be a plural, go back to the old system of never using pronouns for those whom "he" or "she" would be incorrect (such as myself) or just readopt the old system in general which would prove cumbersome and lead back into the use of pronouns.

Link to comment
Guest Deeedoo
Problem is, is that English? The first two rows are definitely English, the next three are not, and the last is improper. While it sounds degrading, the real gender neutral in English is:

it, its, itself

The "singular they" seems to be very popular among people now, but I don't use it. It's one of my "pet peeves". They are plural! lol

April

I have no problem with the it. In fact, I refer to myself as it. I also use 'it' for creatures whose genders I cannot identify, including humans. It offends some people, but I don't care because it's a silly thing to be offended about.

Link to comment

Sally has the solution.

Sally says never use pronouns just proper names it works for Sally.

Sally hasn't offended anyone so far and Sally likes it that way.

It does make Sally sound a little egotistical but at least Sally is always politically Correct!

A real feather in Sally's cap!

Love ya,

Sally

Link to comment

But, but, but it never referred to a person!

Sally has the solution.

Sally says never use pronouns just proper names it works for Sally.

Sally says never use pronouns just proper names, Sally is experiencing great success!

Sally hasn't offended anyone so far and Sally likes it that way.

Sally hasn't offended anyone so far and Sally is enjoying Sally's Political correctness.

It does make Sally sound a little egotistical but at least Sally is always politically Correct!

Referring to Sally as Sally all of the time does make Sally sound a little egotistical but at least Sally is always politically Correct!

A real feather in Sally's cap!

Has Sally redeemed Sally?

Love,

Sally

Link to comment
Guest Conrí
I know it really is silly. If it is no problem, what's wrong with he and she?

April

Nothing is wrong with he and she. You use she for girls/women, and he for boys/men and sometimes as an inclusive. But, when you have someone that isn't a girl or a boy, then what do you use?

It - touchy to use as a pronoun and is normally used against us to try and offend, but hey, people call babies it all the time and then go and call an object a he or a she :lol:.

I tend to slip into using they or the person's name.

Link to comment
Guest Deeedoo
It - touchy to use as a pronoun and is normally used against us to try and offend, but hey, people call babies it all the time and then go and call an object a he or a she

I use 'he' on my trombone Shiny because I know he is male. People try to use it to insult me but I don't care because I really am an it usually. I really don't care about any pronouns for me, but I try to find the right pronoun for others. Usually if I haven't found one yet I just use 'it'. People get mad at me, but it doesn't matter because they're wrong. In writing, instead of using the cumbersome 'he or she', which still doesn't include androgynous people, I just use 'it' even if it seems strange to the teachers. It's one of my strange ways of referring to things, like saying 'non-human' instead of 'animals' because I want to include protists, fungi, bacteria, and plants and at the same time not group humans in there because humans are animals. I may seem scientific, and I am.

An alternative to 'it' may be to always say 'this person' or 'that person', but it's not as easy as just saying 'it'.

Link to comment
Guest Conrí
Why don't we use the pronouns of our physical sex? I think that would simplify a lot of things.

April

Because their gender doesn't match their physical sex. It would be the same as me referring to you as a "he" or referring to an ftm as a "she." Does it make sense now? You use the pronoun that the individual would prefer, which normally matches their gender, which does not always match their physical sex. But not everyone has a gender that matches male or female, which is one of the purposes behind gender neutral pronouns (the other purpose being when you do not know the preference of the individual). I would much rather be called it than referred to as my physical sex.

Link to comment
Guest Cody_T
But my question is, why do we use pronouns to refer to our genders? Why not physical sex?

April

we don't use the pronouns to refer to our physical sex because the general public has not managed to separate sex from gender. Technically, pronouns do refer to our physical sex, and to our gender, at the same time. This is due to the popular conception of the two as one communal entity.

When there's a disconnect though, gender obviously wins out. Choosing to refer to sex over gender would be like letting a rock have the last ice cream cone instead of a little boy, in an attempt to protect the rock's feelings. Rocks don't have feelings and sex (excuse the great pun here) doesn't have "feelings" either.

Sex is, gender creates. By calling someone he, you are implying that he is male in sex and in gender, to the average person. If you call a person with male sex "she", this does not impact the sex at all, as the listener has no effect on the person's sex. If you call a person with a male gender "she", their gender is automatically refiltered through the listener's perspective, and their gender's social perception is changed.

I say my sex is female, and the average person will tell me my gender is female. (and insist, they're quite adamany about these things). Since they're only ever going to see my gender (unless he's really, really, really hot and temporarily incapable of speaking), it makes more sense that they should wrongly percieve my sex than my gender.

If you have a gender that doesn't correlate to any sex, then you don't have a pronoun. That's where we really need "gender neutral". Which technically means sex neutral, as the pronouns only are available for male and female. What it really is, though, is a more accurate representation of the person. Or if you're a gender deconstructionist, it's a something or other... sorry, this is where my info runs out because I'm in the "keep the pronouns" camp. I do think it'd be cool to have some set extended ones that refer to more genders than just male and female, or at least well known neutral ones

So basically, "we" collectively as a human race *do* use pronouns to refer to our sex. "We" human race, also use them to refer to gender which is "the exact same thing" according to most people. "We" as transgender people use pronouns to refer to our gender, because using pronouns referring to our sex is misleading and disturbs our interpersonal relationships.

P.S. Sable: I think the Ms. thing was a feminist invention, wasn't it? So that like Mr., a woman's status didn't depend on whether or not they were married.

Link to comment
Guest Elizabeth K

So basically, "we" collectively as a human race *do* use pronouns to refer to our sex. "We" human race, also use them to refer to gender which is "the exact same thing" according to most people. "We" as transgender people use pronouns to refer to our gender, because using pronouns referring to our sex is misleading and disturbs our interpersonal relationships.

EXACTLY

Lizzy

Link to comment
Guest April63

Interesting. I think gender and sex pretty much are the same, but for us, they may be different. But in most cases they are the same.

I suppose I see what you're getting at.

April

Link to comment
Guest Conrí
Interesting. I think gender and sex pretty much are the same, but for us, they may be different. But in most cases they are the same.

I suppose I see what you're getting at.

April

If gender and sex were the same, then trans people would not exist.

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   13 Members, 0 Anonymous, 273 Guests (See full list)

    • AllieJ
    • Willow
    • ClaireBloom
    • Avra
    • Abigail Genevieve
    • April Marie
    • SamC
    • Birdie
    • VickySGV
    • MaryEllen
    • Wasylyna
    • Lydia_R
    • KatieSC
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.8k
    • Total Posts
      770k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,091
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Layla Marie hay
    Newest Member
    Layla Marie hay
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Britton
      Britton
      (53 years old)
    2. chipped_teeth
      chipped_teeth
    3. james-m
      james-m
    4. jenny75
      jenny75
      (34 years old)
    5. KASS13
      KASS13
  • Posts

    • Willow
      @KymmieL I think we all have had to deal with a person who would not apologize when they were wrong no matter what.  In my case it was my MIL. Actually called me a lier I front of my wife.  Even when she realized she was wrong she wouldn’t admit it to my wife, nor would she apologize to my wife for any of the things she later admitted she had done that affected my wife.  I had a boss that accused me of saying things I did not say in a manner I did not use.  Even another employee told him that I had not said the things nor used the words but he still refused to back down.     Unfortunately, all too many people in this world believe they are always right no matter what.  Some are very famous.  lol   Willow    
    • KatieSC
      I wish I could cope as well as others. I feel very defeated in that all of the consideration, and then treatment to transition, could all be wiped out by this time next year with the united effort by the R party to eradicate all that is transgender. I fear that the national election could turn out to our detriment, and we will face a national push to eradicate us. Tracking us down will not be that hard to do. Once they know who we are, forcing the legislation to reverse our name changes, gender marker changes, and other records, will not be that hard. We saw an example when the AG in Texas was data mining the driver licenses for those who had gender marker changes. Who will we appeal to? The Supreme R Court? We would have an easier time trying to convince a Russian court.    We need to get out and vote in November. There is not enough Ben & Jerry's to improve my outlook on all of this. In some ways it is a cruel thing in a way. In the early 1930s, Germany was working hard to hunt down the LGBTQ population and eradicate it. Now Germany has better protections there than we have in many of our own states. About 90 years ago, Germany was seeing the rise of their very own dictator...Now the US is on the verge...Oh never mind. What a difference 90 years makes...    History may repeat itself, but sometimes it shifts the focus a little...
    • Nonexistent
      I have the same problem as you, my face is the main reason why I get misgendered I'm pretty sure. I think it's mostly up to genetics how your face will look (T can help, but still genetics will determine how you end up). You can't change your facial structure really, you can get facial masculinization surgery but it's expensive so not an option for most unless you're rich lol.    Experimentally (I haven't done it but want to), you could see if any plastic surgeons around you will give you Kybella in your cheeks. It is an injection that removes fat, and is usually used underneath the chin/on the neck below the jawline, but some may use it off-label on the face. The only potential problem with this is that if your face would naturally thin out at an older age, it could thin out extra and make you look older (though I'm not certain on this). Another option is to get filler in your jaw/chin, which would make your jawline look more square and your face more masculine. I want jaw filler but I'm poor lol, it only lasts one year up to a few years depending on what kind you get, so it would have to be done every so often and can get expensive. I did get chin filler once, only 2 small vials so it didn't make that big of a difference. I would recommend going for the jaw if you can only choose 1, I wish I had done that.   Those are the only options I know of that will bring legitimate noticeable changes.
    • April Marie
      Welcome to the forums, Blake!! We are happy that you found us!!
    • Mmindy
      Good evening Blake.   Welcome to Transgender Pulse Forums.   Best wishes, stay positive and motivated.   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • Nonexistent
      Thank you.    Trans men and trans women each have their own struggles for sure, but I agree, it can be a hard time to be a non-passing trans guy. There is no specific "man clothes" that only men wear. People could just think I'm butch (which sucks to think about, if people think I'm a lesbian when I'm a dude!!). I mean I would feel better if I got gendered correctly even if I don't fully pass, it would maybe raise my confidence to think maybe I do pass well lol! Instead I'm just reminded I don't.   Though I may just focus on the times I don't pass and ignore the times that I do. Because I rarely remember getting gendered correctly, but I hone in on the times that I don't. 
    • Nonexistent
      Thank you, I'm glad to be here. :)   I have been in therapy for 9 years but still can't seem to accept myself. I think it has to do with growing up trans in a world that hates us, especially in the south. I mean I was discriminated against by adults and ostracized as a kid/teen due to being trans. My family is accepting, but the rest of the world is not. I realize now a lot of people are accepting (even unexpectedly, like my partner's conservative republican Trump-loving parents lol), but it feels like my brain is still in survival mode every time I exit the door. I am a very fearful person.   My body still may change over time, but it feels like I haven't met the same 'quota' (don't know the right word) that a majority of other trans guys have on far less time on T. Most trans guys pass easily 1-3yrs on T, I'm double that and still don't pass well except my voice.
    • Nonexistent
      Thank you. I am just used to seeing trans guys who pass at like... 6 months to 1 year, at the most 3 years. And I just don't meet the mark, all the way at 6 years. It is possible with time I will masculinize more, but it's frustrating when I'm "behind" and may never catch up. It threatens my mental health mostly, possibly my physical health if I'm visibly trans (though I don't ever go out alone). 
    • Adrianna Danielle
      Boss is happy with everything with me and said I will be the only one that works on one customer's truck.This customer saw me clean a small grease spot in the inter of his Kenworh last week,on the steering wheel.A new customer too,saw me walk out with my tub o' towels wiping that grease stain off.This one,he cannot stand a grease spot in the interior.
    • Nonexistent
      Yeah, I am grieving the man I "should" have been. He will never exist, especially not in my youth. But I don't know how to healthily go about it instead of fixating on the life that could have been.
    • EasyE
    • VickySGV
      Going to the conventions has been one of my ways to deal with this stuff. 
    • Nonexistent
      Sorry it took me a while to respond!    I would like to get to know you. :) I only have mental disabilities. Schizoaffective disorder, depression, and anxiety. The last two are severe and very treatment-resistant. I did have physical problems for some time, but it was caused by an antipsychotic medication (Invega). It basically crippled me, muscle weakness/fatigue, basically could barely walk (used mobility devices) and doctors were useless since they didn't suspect the medication I was on! I've finally ditched antipsychotics (hopefully for good, unless my symptoms come back). I usually don't share like this, especially in person, but hey, I'm anonymous. :)   I'm not expecting reciprocation at all btw, these things are personal. There is more to us than disabilities, so tell me about yourself if you still wanna talk!
    • EasyE
      thanks for the insight ... good to know things are being well thought-out ... it is no easy topic for sure, as many of us on here have been wrestling with this stuff for years and decades...
    • Ashley0616
      @KymmieLWOW! He is absolutely horrible! Definitely one of the worst boss's. 
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...