wishing to be kim

[wishing to be kim]

I grow up in a small country town in ausland I was 6 years old and I had boobs I was swimming at the pool we had a bad boys training farm in town without adult to look over them I ended up raped which I was not sopose to live through some passby picked me up and drove me home my mum did not know who I was the police said that because the oldest was 15 nowon could be charge and again raped again when I was 9 same story. the doctor said I was trying to find my sexualy I fand out there were wared I wood sue them I started dressing up at 13 when my father told me to be a man so I take the most dangers work I cound find I have broken most of my bones being shot 3 times u name it if it was dangers there I was I have been taken hormoes for 3 years and don't have boobs the size I was 10 without help I don't know wate to do?

[tracy_j]

Hi Kim

Just to say hello and welcome

You are in a safe place here where you will find out a lot of information and understanding. People are very friendly and willing to help so please do not be afraid to ask or post as you wish. As you look around and read previous posts you will find many answers.

We do ask that newcomers read the terms and conditions. There is a link at the bottom right hand side of the page. Conforming to these help everyone by making the site safe for people of all ages and circumstances.

I look forward to your input

It's nice to meet you

Tracy x

[Carolyn Marie]

Welcome to the Playground, Kim. Your story is heartbreaking, hon. I wish I could give you a real hug instead of a virtual hug. You've been through so much.

You don't say if you are or were seeing a therapist, but if you aren't, you should and soon. You may be suffering from PTSD, and you need therapy in dealing with your gender issues. That is the place to start. I wish you all the best.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[Charlize]

Welcome to Laura's. Many here can relate to your experiences in some way or another even if all our paths are different. Simply knowing i'm not alone has helped me a great deal. I, like Carolyn Marie, hope you are getting therapy. Experiences like those you have shared should also be shared in depth with a professional trained to listen and help in real time.

Glad you've joined us here.

Hugs,

Charlize

[wishing to be kim]

thank u all as for seeing a therapy when I was 13 I was told I was unsure what sex I wanted to be an if a 6 years old wants be my speelraped so if thay say so thing I think is wrong I walk please forgive my spelling I have been hit the head firghting most of my life I wanted to bet up all the bad men and no I did not pick them but I frinsh them am 194cm tall and 135kg with 6.5 years in the army if there was danger at work that was my job just to be a man that I wasnot

[wishing to be kim]

ps I read the terms 3 times am know them

[wishing to be kim]

am running out of time I have being thinking of cutting off all my male parts because I have no feeling from the head down the doc's say I have a year to two the most I do not want die a man any help out there beause this feeling are getting stronger as time runs out

[Carolyn Marie]

Kim, you didn't tell us that you are ill. What is the nature of your illness? You must tell your doctors or therapists what you are feeling, hon. They are the ones in a position to help you.

Doing harm to yourself is no solution, Kim. It will not help you become a woman, it will simply kill you, and that does neither you nor anyone else in your life any good at all. Save your strength to battle whatever disease is affecting your body. When you survive that, you can then try to reach your goal of transitioning genders. You cannot transition if you are dead, Kim.

Carolyn Marie

[wishing to be kim]

the end game here is in two years I be dead there is not a thing the doctors can do and being an ex par mec I die a very painfull one at that I can take that but not to die a man very soon I be so sick that doctors willnot do the op and my gp said he thinks I run out time already I have seen a lot of dead people in my life dieing dose not get me down but being a man dose

[Charlize]

Kim don't give up hope. I have severe heart disease. I have finally gotten the approval for some surgery. It is limited due to the very powerful drugs i am taking to thin my blood. I cannot stop them but i can accept that.

I don't know what you have as a disease. My disease doesn't give me a timeline. I take nitroglycerine when i have chest pain. Normally it works. If it doesn't i call the rescue squad. So far i'm still here.

Stick with it and like me you may well get some of the things done that remain on your bucket list.

Hugs and a shoulder,

Charlize

[wishing to be kim]

this is hard this the first time I have told anyone not even my farnly know but I have prostate cancer that y my time is running out am telling u all so I maybe help some of u and maybe u help me we all live in hope

[gennee]

Hi Kim and welcome to Laura's.