guys and gals

[Guest Razilee]

I often wonder whether I am passing as the female I am trying to present myself as. Today at I was included among "the guys" and then the person corrected themself and said "gal and guy", so I was identified as the "gal". I know that that the word "guys" can sometimes mean any group of people without identifying genders, but I still don't know whether the speaker knows I'm a guy who would prefer not to be known as a guy or if the speaker really does think of me as a "gal". Am I overthinking this as usual?

Anyway it reminds me of the old joke: "Mommy, where did I come from. From the milkman. From the milkman! Yes, that was back when we still had milkmen delivering milk to our house. I left a note for him to stop leaving qts and leave a gal, and he left you."

Raz,

[Charlize]

That's a cute joke. I'm old enough to remember the milk man coming to the door every morning, taking the empty bottles and leaving fresh milk.

As to passing or not, like you i don't have a clue and can over think it all the time. The fact is i rarely think of it anymore and just live as myself. When it comes up it is almost a shock. Mmmm that thing again. It's an old friend that may haunt me for the rest of my life from time to time but those times are growing farther apart as years pass..

Hugs,

Charlize

[Cyndee]

Overthinking can be hazardous to your well being, really

I hear the word "guys" all the time when refering to a group (even all women). I try not to put any more gendered meaning behind it.

Thanks for the smile this morning Raz....

Hugs

Cynthia -

PS - I really do like it, when referred to as "gals"

[StephanieVikingGirl]

Hi Raz,

Nice joke! Yep, try not to overthink it, about "passing" or as I prefer to call it "blending in". It sometimes still crosses my mind as well, but I do listen to others when they tell me that I pass fine. I also have the advantage/disadvantage of working directly with the public as a bicycle wine tour guide, and this close exposure really convinces me that I blend in well. I do like it when I am referred to as one of the girls at work, and if someone refers to me as a gal, that's fine too! Overthinking seems to be prevalent in our community, Alex does it too.

hugs,

Stephanie

[Guest]

I'm always overthinking it. Why? because if I go to a store and someone call me "mister" I just hate it, I just can't help myself. Here, nobody is shy to call you "mister" if they think you maybe look like one.

So, for me, a good way to know if I pass well enough is to check just how many times they called me "mister". The day they will stop is the day I will stop thinking about this