Alone with many friends

[SoSarah]

Hi, I am Sarah and I am hoping to bring new friends into my life. I am not new to our community but I am new to being alone. To most my story resembles the moment that our souls peeked back you in the mirror and said you forgot to finish that wall you have been building since 6,so in retrospect I am glad I am not the best Mason. Now to the short of this. I have many good friends that I love but their friendship ends at the need on being educated on what makes this real for me or us. I am a Tansexual M/F and started transitioning in 2007 when my second wife left me. I told the mother of my children and my 2nd wife that I was transgendered before we got married ( though transgendered wasent a word in 1979 ) I started my hormones, developed a C cup, grew my hair, colored my hair,went SSC in 2008 and was very active in my trans group. In 2013 had a blood clot and massive stroke..... Fun over ? Life over ? Two weeks in ICU, 6 weeks in physical therapy and then a nice stay of 8 months in a nursing home. I can walk again slow, talk again and feel pretty again. I moved back to my highschool home in the midwest,I have a home I can afford,lots of friends and children that love me from afar but Sarah is the lonlyist person woman her 4 walls knows, so that's what's going on and I can't wear heel's ITS ALL GOOD....Sarah

[Charlize]

Welcome to Laura's Sarah. It certainly sounds like you have been around the community for some time now. I told my wife back in the early 70's and got such a negative reaction i went into hiding. OH well it simply took me more time to get to the same place.

I also have a heart condition. In my case it is severe coronary artery disease. HRT approval has been difficult at times and i'm usually taken off after an incident. Fortunately i seem to be OK with avery small dose of E and no longer need blockers due to surgery.

Sorry your in an isolated situation now. Hopefully with time your mobility will improve and your be able to make more local friends.

In the meantime hope you can enjoy some time here.

Hugs,

Charlize

[tracy_j]

Hi Sarah

Sorry to hear of your traumatic experience. It can take considerable time to get over a stroke as you probably know. Its good that you have recovered to live a normal life .

Like with any life changing experience it takes time to build up mentally as well. You will get there and feel less lonely.

Feel free to talk

Tracy x

[SoSarah]

Thanks, we all have a story and our health seems to weave through our tale. I knew the challenges of hormones and would not change that decision, I would though change 70 hour work weeks I put on myself through,and the amount of barley and hops that found their way to my lips. My therapist once ask me the first weeks of my sessions years back, was I capable of checking out? Part of her job I guess, HELL NO ! Was my answer, why when you can stick around and beat the heck out your self. My family and friends don't thick much of her because she confirmed what I knew, but what they don't know is that she guided me through so many thorn bushes. That is the past and you can come through this...age is good when you get there, thanks for repost. Sarah

[gennee]

Hello Sarah and welcome to Laura's. I came out as a cross dresser and transgender person seven months after open heart surgery. I'm doing well now. I'm happy that you are up and around again. This is a great sight with some great people.

[SoSarah]

Hi Gennee, thanks for the message of support, I'm glad to read you recovered and are well. After being immobilized in June 2013 by the stroke my family's love helped but my need to try to be authentic got me out of bed into the wheel chair and to my first goal (to be able to roll myself down the hall to my physical therapy session) and then walk again, note: a skirt or dress cannot swirwl by sitting down. To be real it was much deeper than that. In late August of that year I went into a nursing home for the long part of the recovery. New meds for some leg tremors in November of that year caused me two new stroke events one weekend , my blood pressure was 280/165 in the ambulance which was worse 270/160 at the main event, I knew I was a gonner. I am a woman of deep faith and was blessed the following week. The third day in ICU a cardiologist came in because they could not get the pressure down without giving me very powerfull meds through a IV, he looked at my chart and changed most my meds. Two years going on the same meds bp still under control. For me the question does God hate me for this had been concern I had always struggled with and it became clear that week, I feel now the answer is NO! He knows who he made. I am back to being in growth mode, hench joining this forum and posting, still it is a hard road but I know I share that with all my sister's and yes brother's. It's all good, Hugs Sarah