Running

[Danae]

So I did an introduction and decided to go ahead and do this to kind of tell more of how I came to be here.

So I can't pen point exactly when I started to really realize things. I do know as far back donkey a kid maybe 5 or 6 I had always had an obsession with women's clothing well anything really to do with girls or women. And while I cant sat that my parents really purposely stifled anything I will say that because to them on the outside i was a boy that is how they raised me. Fast forward to middle school I will say this is when I noticed not only that I was kind of attracted to other boys (This was more of a It was there but I was trying to ignore it as well) but when I first relay started trying on my sister clothes in secret and it just felt right but again how I was raise d told me no I am a guy so i did my best for many years to try and ignore how i felt even though over the years it would rear up again and again. There where times I did get depressed enough I contemplated suicide at one low I was close to jumping out a dorm window but thinking of friends I had at the time (some of which I am still friends with) I stopped my self and once again pushed away how I felt.

Fast forward the past couple of years about 2 years ago well closer to 3 I moved to where I am now and the feelings of who I am that I had been pushing away finally caught up to me so I began searching and doing research. I made some more new friends in my search for answers on things and learning many different things until I finally found my way here well the first time A couple a months ago from a friend. I did look around then but didn't quite join. The reason being at the time I was still wrestling with my feelings. While I had come out to some friends about things I was still unable t o accept myself. The other night I was finally able to do that and thus I ended up here. Though I know I have a rather long road ahead of me and i know it may not be easy because there are still tings i am not 100% sure about I can say now instead of Running away from myself I am finally running toward myself.

[Charlize]

I think the self acceptance you speak of is difficult for most of us. Society says we are one thing and must act in certain ways and we live with that for years. Going a different direction flies in the face of so many 'imperatives'. Take your time and if possible enjoy the journey where ever it may take you. Therapy helped me and is certainly an important step. In the meantime read and post here. Just putting down how you feel can help it all come together. You are not alone.

Hugs,

Charlize

[Guest Kayla Grace]

Eventually we can't push it away anymore. There is no cure for gender dysphoria except transition.

Yes, it's not easy. Transition is likely the most difficult thing you'll ever have to do in your life. It requires time, money, and a hell of a lot of patience. It can at times seem overwhelming to just look how far away from the finish line you are. The key is to be a little closer everyday. Just like the turtle, as long as you keep going, you'll get there eventually.

There is no future but what we make for ourselves.

[gennee]

Hi Danae. I'm pleased to you have accepted who you are. There will be more as you take this journey. Embrace all the positive things you learn. Enjoy the ride.

[Danae]

Thank you for the encouraging words. This isn't easy for me, not only because it goes against things I was taught and how I was raised. But mostly because I know at some point it will cause me to pretty much clash with just about an entire side of my family (thankfully that is the the side of the family I am to particularly close to or ever much cared for due to other reasons)) and even with my other side it may cause some issues and that side has been a constant for me my entire life (Literally Growing up and even now we still get as many together to celebrate Birthdays and holidays)). But I will as you said Kayla Grace take little steps every day and hopefully I will be able to reach that finish line and as a dear friend of mine put it that complete inner peace of who I am.

[Guest Kayla Grace]

Nobody got to where they were going by doing anything else other then slow, Danae.

I know you can do it