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do i pass?


MistyMinx15

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I'm afraid that dress wouldn't work for me. The women i interact with dress quite conservatively. If i were to wear that dress i would stand out enough that everyone would look too closely. I try to dress more or less as those in my social and age group unless i'm trying to stand out for some reason.

That being said we all have different reasons and esthetics for how we dress and it may be just right for you. After all "passing" isn't everything.

Hugs,

Charlize

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The lighting is so poor I cannot say one way or another since I cannot see your face and hair. Your pose is a masculine pose you need to relax and get your arms down at your side, chin up, and shoulders back. I am on the heavier side, and stripes or lines for me are not going horizontal since that emphasizes my round body shape. Floral prints are kinder to me, but the majority of my dresses are solid colors with accessories to break up my look and call attention away from my less attractive features. The dress in my avatar is a blue and white floral print with an empire waist line. (ie right under my boobs.)

The outfit would be fine for CD club wear, and you would fit in to that environment, and it would get you out of the house at least. It would not be your best bet for going shopping during midday hours in the local mall. In fact go a mall, and casually observe other women with your general shape and see what they are wearing. You can get some really great Ideas that way.

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I have to agree with the standing out and agree with the previous responses.

Like most I have made mistakes in the past - really big ones :D

I find that things work best when I am blending in with everyone else. I have noticed when wearing 'unusual' clothes that women tend to comment to their friends, even when they are thinking I am female. I think ideally to learn the rules before bending them :)

To me the dress is too striking. I would likely wear a stripey top with plain skirt (or the other way about?) but not a dress like that except perhaps in a club. I am aware that colours with red hair are difficult. My opinion is it raises the 'clash' level. It would perhaps work in limited environments.

In conclusion - I don't think 'passing' is what you should be thinking rather than 'fitting in'

Just my opinion - sorry if it sounds harsh!

Tracy

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Guest Jamie61

Hi Misty,

Last evening I was at my daughters hemming some slacks for her while she tried on several dresses. In each dress she studied herself carefully in the mirror and evaluated. I have avoided dresses because they are such a complete item and hard to tweek compared to separates. I benefitted from looking at wedding dress styles to see what works best for me. I definitely do better in either "empire" or A-line dresses.

Hugs,

Jamie

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The young me would suggest going to thrift stores (or stores that sell cheap clothes)

and try as many cheap dress as you can. The young me would also suggest trying your mother and sister's dresses but hey, maybe it's not the best option for you ;)

we have to give ourselves a break at a certain point and accept we are transgender woman, you can't avoid a certain amount of "squareness" unless you only wear like.. a very narrow type of clothes

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I have found lots of clothes and dresses that i would love to wear. Simple fact is that they dont look good on me.

Trying to pass typically means blending in.

I usually observe the women in the place i intend to pass in. A good starting place would be a grocery store. The women there are usually very basic. That is where you get a good foundation. By mastering the basics.

Its usually not best to see someone attractive and try to wear what she is wearing but rather observe someone of similar build (height and weight) and take note of not only what they are wearing but how it fits on them. Is it loose? Is it baggy? What parts of their body do their clothes accentuate?

Buying thrift clothes is a great way to save lots of money while finding a style and fit that works for you.

Once you get the grocery store mastered you can set your observation on the shopping malls where many will still be basic but usually slightly more classy than the grocery store.

Once you are able to walk in the mall without getting clocked that is when you may be able to pass in that dress.

Also keep in mind the power of shape-wear such as corsets and hip pads.

It really is a nice dress, but its not helping you pass much in an average grocery store.

I say this as a woman who has been there and I am trying to lay out a path to help you pass in that dress.

Assuming that is what you want.

Keep at it girl! If nothing else you have great ambitions!

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I'll second the thrift store suggestion. I've made many mistakes-- :unsure: ---had some successes. My real aim is to get a good work wardrobe together, but I do pick up a few fun things in the process.

--Marcie

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  • 3 weeks later...

Hi Misty,

I tend to wear solid color dresses, or with pretty patterns, floral, woods, whatever. I will also wear separates for their versatility. I think the horizontal lines on your dress are not good for your shape, it would be better if they were vertical if you like lines. Your hair is groovy though. Is it natural, or wig? I feel that if one can grow their hair naturally long, it tends to help one to blend in better. I am so sorry for all the women who have hair issues, I empathize a lot, I had some slight male pattern baldness when I started hormones, but my hair grew back okay. A change of clothes, a more relaxed, confident, feminine stance, and a pretty smile can help you pass okay I think. I am always kinda honest in my evaluations of other women, I know how hard it can be if you are worried about passing. I hope my input helps.

hugs,

Stephanie

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