Prescription drugs suck too.

[Joel-FTM]

I've been off any illegal drugs and even alcohol for years, but I can't seem to kick the damn prescription drugs... pain pills, benzos, muscle relaxers. I have built up such a tolerance that it takes huge amounts to even touch me, and I still don't get the high I'm looking for. Sometimes I just get sick. Sometimes, like last night, I was so messed up that I couldn't walk without falling down every step or two. I fell about 8 times trying to get to the kitchen to make some damn toast. I fell in the kitchen and hit my face on ... something... no idea what... have a cut over my eye, and a nice black eye. I hate myself when I do this crap. It makes me want to die. At least when I was smoking weed, I was just happy and chill, and I never hurt myself or wanted to die. I just feel like a big loser addict.

[Charlize]

there is no differences between prescription drugs and illegal drugs as far as addiction goes. I am an addict in recovery and when i have had surgery i have to be extremely careful not to go out on painkillers. I know i have a problem with any drug. I'm powerless once i start and i quickly find myself in a hole. I've learned several things after getting sober. I accepted that i am powerless and i know i need help. I can't quit or stay sober by myself.

Once i accepted my problem i reached out and continue to do that. I have found a peace and happiness in sobriety.

You are expressing the problem. There is a solution. Get the help you need. We can guide you somewhat but you have to take the steps require. Rehab, NA or AA are there and ready to help. It isn't easy but i have lived through it and know the rewards. I'm living a life beyond my wildest dreams. Hope you'll join me.

Hugs,

Charlize

[Carolyn Marie]

I agree with Charlize on this: there is little difference in being addicted to illegal or legal drugs, and if you are abusing the legal prescriptions, then it really isn't all too legal, either. But my intent is not to make judgements, its to get you the help you clearly need. So here is a link to a site that can put you in touch with resources to help you, in Oklahoma or anywhere else. Please take advantage of it. You know you have a problem, and that admission is a great first step to getting off those drugs.

http://www.recovery.org/topics/prescription-drug-recovery-helplines/

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[VickySGV]

As another recovering addict here, (prescription meds were my drugs of choice too) I have to join in the chorus with Charlize (with whom I moderate a weekly Chat over in Chat on AA/NA, and any other *A there is.) and say that addiction is addiction and you need help to get off and away from it. Stumbling level intoxication from prescription meds also means that you need medical help, possibly for things not yet discovered. My theme here is that help is needed, ask for it until you get it! You know you need it and we can tell you that that is GOOD. I got the help I needed, not the help I necessarily wanted, but what I needed and I have a wonderful, meaningful life that even you can have if you seek it.

[Atalante]

Hi Joel,

I had the same problem for years. When really dopey the "I want to die" words kept going through my head like a recording on a tape loop. I am still addicted to morphine and amphetamines legally and expensively prescribed and not doing me any good. Just avoiding the hell of another detox. How I am recovering is using the twelve step program but if you have never been to a meeting do not just dive in as it is a bit scary. Do some online research first. You have to find a strong motivation to live clean before meds destroy you by damaging your liver or by harming yourself when under the influence. We all have it in us to do this. Have turned my life around from such extreme circumstances, pain and abuse with everyone saying I had no chance so know with the realisation that we all have the potential to do this that you can get over this. Real meditation helps. Found a good therapist on line who is miles ahead of all the "jobs worth" I have met in detox clinics and privately. Cut my meds down by two thirds in a year and feel am getting control of my life again. Hope you find it in yourself to want to do the same.