Been away

[Guest AshleighP]

I have been absent from this site for too long. I have been struggling with some issues and questions for a few months now. Fortunately, I have learned not to purge clothing when I go through these times. I have made that decision and regretted it before.

Some days I just wonder why I am the way I am. Shouldn't I just be satisfied with my birth gender? What makes me so happy and content about wearing women's clothing? Am I a freak? Then, I come back here and read some of these posts and realize that I am not a freak, I am not alone (even though I feel it most of the time), and there are people who don't even know me, but care about me and my struggles. People who go through the same issues and have the same questions. I long for someone local I can meet with and talk to who understands.

I have begun dressing again at every opportunity no matter how long it will be for. It just makes me happier and more content as a person. I am very thankful that I have this site to share my feelings and frustrations with like minded people.

Thanks y'all for listening and being there no matter how long it is between visits here.

[Guest]

Welcome home! Don't visit, stay. I know, easy for me to say. I've had a few hiatuses myself, sometimes life gets really busy and/or I have little mini fires I have to stamp out.

Well, glad you're back, wardrobe intact. Hug. JodyAnn

[Carolyn Marie]

Welcome back, Ashleigh. Yes, it can be a struggle, with lots of internal turmoil to go along with it. We've all fought that same battle at some time in our lives. Talking about it does help. I hope you stick around for a bit.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[Charlize]

There was a time when like you i decided :"No more purging." That alone felt good. I went to some support group meetings that were pretty far from home and that helped as well. Laura's made a great difference to me, just as you described. I found i could share with others who understood. That lead me to gender therapy which is definitely worth doing. We all travel at our own speeds and directions. Glad you've come back. It helps.

Hugs,

Charlize

[Guest suden]

Hi - Yes I am for ever wondering- I stay strong in myself with a good therapist every week- I,d love to find others my age in Iowa to talk with but the plains are baron for the most part,

support groups are out there and very open and excepting to all. believe in your self! eden

[Guest Mickey]

I'm with Charlize on the Gender Therapy. This could most certainly help you figure out some of the answers to your questions. But there is one question that I can answer for you. No, you are not a freak. That is only what society says about us. They used to say the same thing about gay and lesbian folk too. They've come around, slowly, for gays and lesbians. And society will come around for us gender non conforming individuals as well.

Welcome back.

*hugs*

[Guest Clair Dufour]

Don't purge add to it with the full range of women's styles and find the enjoyment in each style. Most

of what women wear these days you can wear outside and few people will even notice as lots hipsters

wear the same things. You can even add hair, earrings, breastforms and makeup together or in

combination and pass better than with a skirt and heels. Things like fleece lined jeggings and satin

or stretch tops ohh soo good and few notice. If you like heels, Beetle Boots or whatever want to call

them, with 2 inch heels, look good and feel good too.

Think of it more as hobby or diversion like fantasy football or fishing. Whether that or taking a

bubble bath, they all provide relief from day to day stress. If your in the blue part of Virginia,

lots of groups and places to go. Just search the web and call or e-mail. Most crossdressing shops

know every group including some you won't find on the web. Then check them out, dressed or not and

see what you like.

As far as (I assume) wife goes. The universal answer is, we as children are very much the same and as

old people become again very much the same and all the changes along the way are just part of life.

[Guest AshleighP]

Thank you all for the encouraging comments. I do plan to make every effort to stay active and communicate with y'all here. It does to help to get things off my chest .

I have looked into (briefly) gender therapy counseling, but the fear is my wife finding out as she is still not understanding or supportive. Her discovery of that would only lead to more uncomfortable judgement and discussions about my "sin". I'm not ready for that right now. Finding acceptance here will have to suffice for now.

[Guest Mickey]

And the really good news, it's NOT a sin. Ancient Israel recognized 6 different genders.

[Guest Clair Dufour]

Wives are a problem whether one crossderesses or not. Most, often dress is men's clothes and styles

and expect us to treat them as equals and one of the guys but, when they put on the sexy girly stuff,

they expect us to become Macho Man! This is FTM dual mode crossdressing pure and simple. Of course when

men try it, often all hell breaks loose. There are a lot of comebacks like, I'm as gender fluid as you

are and if you don't like me wearing skirts and heels, stop wearing pants and sneakers. To me its just

silly as its just clothes. Relationships and intimacy are what's important. After a while, it just is

and hard to keep it fresh if one wants to maintain the status quo of 30 years past. Flipping a coin to

see who's on top tonite is a good solution and if it lands on edge, we get a foster child and continue

to play Your the Mommy and I'm the Daddy like we did in the good old days.